The Queen is now the tallest woman to ever live

[CaptainWacky]

And on this day Queen Elizabeth grew sixty three feet in height and developed the ability to shoot death beams from her eyes, becoming the tallest and most deadly woman to ever live. "Mercy, mercy!" cried her cowering subjects as she boiled them with a look just for fun.

God bless her!

 

[Cassie]

AND THE SEXIEST!

 

[Dr Dave]

Lizard people!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

If only Princess Diana, Queen of our Hearts were still alive, surely she could have defeated our bloodthirsty monarch.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Did they have giant clothes made in advance of the occasion, or is she hiding behind Big Ben until they're ready?

 

[The Question]

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN! WE MEAN IT, MAAAAAAAAAN!

 

[CaptainWacky]

"Clothes" are not a concept she recognises anymore.

Reports that a Mecha Diana is under construction at a secret base underneath Wales are unconfirmed...

 

[Dr Dave]

DOOOMED!!!!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

A somersault could devastate the city!

 

[NeonMercuryASH]

Such a twinkle in her eye!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Jeremy Corbyn was today elected to the position of Queen Stopper. "I'm taking that gigantic bitch down," he told cheering trade unionists.

 

[Donovan]

I would personally burn our constitution if this really happened. A sixty foot lazer shooting Robot queen is WAY better than any leader we've picked in the last couple hundred years.

 

[CaptainWacky]

3.7 million have died so far. She stopped for a bath.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

DON'T STEP ON THE CHUNNEL MA'AM!

 

[CaptainWacky]

She's trying to "kick Wales off of Britain" at the moment.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

This should probably go in the celebrity spotting thread, but I'm pretty sure I saw the Queen (it was either her or one of Loose Women) knocking over the Shard when I popped out for lunch the other day. It actually looked really pretty.

 

[CaptainWacky]

It was sad how the Shard landed right on the London Whale, killing it once more.

 

[The Question]

It was the Queen's fault the T. Rex caught fire. It wasn't spontaneous combustion, the Queen flicked the match she used to light her cigarette.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

It's a good thing James Corden escaped to America, otherwise the Queen would have held him captive under her left breast, sure to be smothered.

 

[CaptainWacky]

"I will not bow to you, Queen, nor sing your national anthem," said Corbyn, defiant, as the Queen lined up her enemies in the Forest of Despair, to kill them once and for all.

"So be it," said the Queen and she began to melt everyone down the line, but when she came to Corbyn a man in a cloak jumped in her way.

"Oy, mate, stay behind me!" he said.

"WHO DARES?" asked the Queen.

"I dare, your Maje!" said RUSSELL BRAND, throwing back his cloak. "I'm 'ere to protect old Jezzer with me own over-inflated sense of smugness!"

"MELT!" said the Queen, firing heat rays from her eyes, but Brand's smugness did create a forcefield, deflecting the blast.

"Run, my liege, flee this 'ere abomination!" said Brand and Corbyn ran into the forest.

"YOU FOOL," said the Queen. "You've just delaye the inevitable!" And she crushed Brand did with her massive heel.

"I...fucked...your...grandaughter," Brand managed to get out before he died.