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The Solution To The Gay Problem: The US of Gay

Darth Abominus

Darth Abominus

You bitches KNOW I'm awesome!
Okay, when I was a young Sith Lord, Pops used to say "'should take those niggers and send 'em back to Africa."

Well, I have no problem with the darkies as long as I don't have to listen to that shit they call music or be mugged or shot for looking at one of them "the wrong way."

But the gays, well...I have a problem here, one that's not so much religious as philosophical. The religious right will agree with me on this one, namely, that gays acting out their sexual desire is deviant. It's against the natural order.

Case in point: a lot of fags point out that "hey, even in nature, you see homosexual activity."

Sure, a male dog will fuck another male dog up the ass. Sure. We've all seen it.

But two male dogs fucking certainly won't create another dog, and the same is true of two male humans putting their dicks up each other's ass.

And as much as I admit that I enjoy watching it, two women licking each other's pussies and rubbing their clits together won't create new life.

So...there's my take on the issue.

So, what do we do with these fuckers? Yeah, let 'em get married so they can pretend their fucking is somehow "normal" and just go on reading the paper and get that second cup of coffee.

No. Nor can we put them in camps or exterminate them en masse. Might be a good idea for people who actually like Kenny G, but not fags. We'd have too many martyrs.

So what we do is get one of these, an artificial island. I don't give a fuck how we make it, so long as it's a quality job. I don't want to create a huge floating slum. Again, the media would make it into "Land of the Elton John Loving Martyrs" or some such.

So you get one of these made, and you tell the fags: "Look, here's a new place for you. You just have to pay for airfare. You'll have job opportunities and soon enough you can build houses and create a new society for yourselves."

"And here on this place, you can get married and watch Sex in the City the "Movie" all you want and spread diseases and eat shit and whatever the fuck else it is you people do."

"But if you don't want to go, well...that's a problem. We don't want to hear one peep about your rights, your so-called 'persecution," none of that bullshit.

"And we're taking those fucking Will and Grace reruns off the air."

So there it is.

But what to call this place? I have some suggestions,

If you didn't know, the name Lesbos is taken.

So how about the following names?

"Fagtopia."

"Queertopia."

"The US of Gay" (my personal favorite)

"Fag Island"

"AIDSlandia"

"Streisandland" (emphasis on the second syllable makes it sound legit)

Any other suggestions?
 
You're opinions are contrarian, badass and littered with profanities. That means you must be on to something.
 
^^^I'm afraid not, Frenchie. I'm as serious as you probably are about being snooty when it comes to this topic.

It thus belongs here. In the Mine Field, it would deteriorate into the kind of shit that's par for the course over there.

So suck on it, Mark.
 
What about the problem of people with increasingly stupid Star Wars fanwank usernames?

People with names like "Rekon Sunkisser" or "Taylahn Starreaper."

Or "Darth Cannabis" or "Darth Abominus."

What about these people? Where should they be sent?

Z\S/
 
slureu6.jpg
 
Putting them on an island would create a too appealing target for bigoted nutjobs like yourself.

It's a bad idea strategically.
 
Hey DL, I wanted to give you some positive TK, hence the little message!

I've been lurking here for a while on and off for the last few months. Darth Abercrombie's post here compelled me to comment...how have you been?

Z\S/
 
Punisher said:
Putting them on an island would create a too appealing target for bigoted nutjobs like yourself.

It's a bad idea strategically.
Click to expand...

They already have an island. It's called Ibiza.

They also have a large village on a larger island in the NE USA.
 
This is really lame.

Sure, a male dog will fuck another male dog up the ass. Sure. We've all seen it.
Click to expand...

and I have never actually seen that, funnily enough. You must have been looking real close to see that.
 
Zombie Superman said:
What about the problem of people with increasingly stupid Star Wars fanwank usernames?

People with names like "Rekon Sunkisser" or "Taylahn Starreaper."

Or "Darth Cannabis" or "Darth Abominus."

What about these people? Where should they be sent?

Z\S/
Click to expand...

To the bottom of a spike-lined mudpit in the rain forest, where hippies who bathe in patchouli will then be piled in on top of them, the whole lot to be doused in cold bacon grease and then lit on fire for the world's first Star-Wars-Geek-Nasty-Hippie-Dogpile Protest... a "sizzle-in."
 
^Remind me to be on the other side of the planet when they get napalmed, cause that shit's gonna smell something foul for weeks.
 
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