CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
there is nothing
h
d
h
h
h
h_
h
jsddddddddddddddd
in my face
it's in my face
my eyes
it's in my eyes
DEPRESSON?
or just me
it's just me
see the world through a filter
flolb
jhgfg
_
Kara Louise was nice
_____________-
ghdfhg
NO I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THE RANDOM TYPING THERE
I don't like "mean for" together like that it looks stupid
everything looks tupid to me
everything frustrats me in som autistic wyasedf
ghdf
hghdf
hf
gh________--
___________
1: anger fading. too tried. too dead. all be over soon.
2: it's over. no more thinking. just lie. used to be satisfying. now it's nothing. but most of the time i'm not aware of the nothing. too gone to care.
3: not much now. might try to be happy now that the everything awake is fading. probably won't. there is nothing.
4: there is nothing.
5: there is nothing.
6: there is nothing.
7: there is nothing.
8: there is nothing.
9: there is nothing. there is something. somehwere else. don't know. confused. where? oh, here. noooo. there is nothing.
10: lie again.
11: try to live. have to. if i don't? not sure. but do anyway. just because i do.
12: start thinking. oh dear. make promises. say i'll do things. perhaps start working on the excuses early.
13: walk it off.
14: get started. slowly. there's stuff i "must" do first. excuses, distractions. come naturally. they're all i am.
15: more. starts to get unberable. don't think.
16: lie. there is nothing.
17: hard to come back. just stay gone. can't. why not? i only care when i'm back. if i stayed...oh shut up. more. mind-numbing.
18: more. mind-numbing.
19: try? for a few seconds. unbearable. too much fuzziness. too much pain. lol. distraction. something "fun".
20: try fun. not really. just time-killing like always.
21: try. maybe last longer. maybe a minute. then back to nothing.
22: nothing. going mad. regret growing. strongly.
23: hurt want to hurt myself, stupid, pathetic, but it's what i am. i have to be what i am. the alternative is nothing.
24: routine. okay. try not to think but i do. anger. big anger. worst part. but not too long to go now.
and back to 1
____________________-
nothing
g
g
g
g
g
hehehehehehehehehhehehhehe
i wish i could talk
it would be a useful skill to have
)))))))))))))))
good hih
good bad all made up
that's annoying.
everything's a lie
you tried to tell me
and I was like "pffffft!"
if i had accepted it then
maybe there would have been hope
nah
wouldn't have been me then
have to be me remebmer
there is nothing
this will be the last thing of the day ever
h
d
h
h
h
h_
h
jsddddddddddddddd
in my face
it's in my face
my eyes
it's in my eyes
DEPRESSON?
or just me
it's just me
see the world through a filter
flolb
jhgfg
_
Kara Louise was nice
_____________-
ghdfhg
NO I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THE RANDOM TYPING THERE
I don't like "mean for" together like that it looks stupid
everything looks tupid to me
everything frustrats me in som autistic wyasedf
ghdf
hghdf
hf
gh________--
___________
1: anger fading. too tried. too dead. all be over soon.
2: it's over. no more thinking. just lie. used to be satisfying. now it's nothing. but most of the time i'm not aware of the nothing. too gone to care.
3: not much now. might try to be happy now that the everything awake is fading. probably won't. there is nothing.
4: there is nothing.
5: there is nothing.
6: there is nothing.
7: there is nothing.
8: there is nothing.
9: there is nothing. there is something. somehwere else. don't know. confused. where? oh, here. noooo. there is nothing.
10: lie again.
11: try to live. have to. if i don't? not sure. but do anyway. just because i do.
12: start thinking. oh dear. make promises. say i'll do things. perhaps start working on the excuses early.
13: walk it off.
14: get started. slowly. there's stuff i "must" do first. excuses, distractions. come naturally. they're all i am.
15: more. starts to get unberable. don't think.
16: lie. there is nothing.
17: hard to come back. just stay gone. can't. why not? i only care when i'm back. if i stayed...oh shut up. more. mind-numbing.
18: more. mind-numbing.
19: try? for a few seconds. unbearable. too much fuzziness. too much pain. lol. distraction. something "fun".
20: try fun. not really. just time-killing like always.
21: try. maybe last longer. maybe a minute. then back to nothing.
22: nothing. going mad. regret growing. strongly.
23: hurt want to hurt myself, stupid, pathetic, but it's what i am. i have to be what i am. the alternative is nothing.
24: routine. okay. try not to think but i do. anger. big anger. worst part. but not too long to go now.
and back to 1
____________________-
nothing
g
g
g
g
g
hehehehehehehehehhehehhehe
i wish i could talk
it would be a useful skill to have
)))))))))))))))
good hih
good bad all made up
that's annoying.
everything's a lie
you tried to tell me
and I was like "pffffft!"
if i had accepted it then
maybe there would have been hope
nah
wouldn't have been me then
have to be me remebmer
there is nothing
this will be the last thing of the day ever
