CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"SOMEBODY POST OR I'LL KILL MYSELF"
That was the thread title Charles Horse decided on. He had agonised over it. Was it going too far? Was it not going far enough? They would get that it was a joke, right? He wasn't being serious. He knew that. He wasn't going to kill himself. He didn't want them to think he was going to kill himself. Or did he? Maybe he wanted them to think it. Maybe he wanted the to fucking feel bad for not posting on the Battlestar Galactica message board he'd started fifteen years ago and worry that he was going to kill himself as a result. Maybe he could live off their fucking sympathy. He didn't know. It was probably just supposed to be taken as a joke. The post itself was funny, right?
"Literally have nothing left except this Battlestar Galactica message board and none of you have posted about Gaius Batlar's character arc for too fucking long and I might as well fucking kill myself it would would make no difference I woudn't even notice because I'd be fucking dead."
That was funny! Total comedy. They knew Charles Horse. Everyone there knew about him and his unique Horse style. It would be fine. It would proably be fine.
"YOU FUCKING CUNTS I FUCK HATE YOU ALL."
He made that follow-up post just to be extra sure they knew he was joking.
"I'M LITERALLY FUCKING FINDING ALL THE PILLS I HAVE IN THE HOUSE AND I'M GOING TO SLASH MY WRISTS TOO CUNTS."
That would get some laughs!
"THIS ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING JOKE, I AM GOING TO DIE TONIGHT AND IT'S LITEALLY ALL OF YOUR FAULT FOR NOT DOING WHAT I FUCKING WANT YOU TO."
Ha!
"DLASDALG8SG8ARJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAG DEAHT DEAHT DEAHT DEHAT FUFKICNG DEAHT IT'S NOT EVEN A BIG DEAL IT'S LITERALLY NOTHING LIFE IS O FUCKING SHORT AND POINTLESS I'M LITEALLY GOING TOT DIE AT ANY MOMENT AND I TYPE ITERALLY TOO MCUHE VEYRONE DIES EVEN THE BEST PERSON EVER DIED AND THEY WER THE BEST PERSON EVER SO I'M GOING TO FUCKING DIE NOW IT'S OKA YOU'LL FROGETME AND DIE TOO YOU ARSEBISCUITS FUCK YOU ALL YOU CUNTNOSES"
Okay maybe the vodka he was drinking was getting to him now.
"I WAS THE ONE BEHIND THE RACIST CLIVE DUAL."
Racist Clive had been a poster on the message board who'd made the most vile racist remarks possible over several years. Horse himself had posted how disgusted he was by it and that he didn't know how Racist Clive kept getting back on the board. The reason was simple: Horse had made the sixteen thousand racist posts himself. He didn't even hold racist views. He didn't even reall know why he did it. But it had made him happy for a while. Hurting his friends. He'd liked it.
He decided not to bury the Racist Clive revealation under more spam. He thought about the dream he'd had the night before...
In that dream, an old school friend had come to visit him, nearly twenty years since they'd last met. They'd been talking normally when suddenly the friend had told him that he was gay. That he'd been gay all this time. Horse had shrugged, it wasn't a big deal. The friend had reminded Horse that he'd once tried to kiss him when he'd been young. Horse remembered it, he'd been at the age where he'd wanted to fuck anything. Horse told his friend that he remembered. The friend looked at him...and Horse told him he wasn't gay. It was true, he wasn't. But Horse had felt disappointed with himself, even in the dream. He could have had gay dream sex but he'd turned it down. Why?
Horse had then rememered in the dream that he'd social media stalked this friend and found he was a single father to a daughter. He reminded the friend of that, but the friend said he'd been kidding himself and got a girl pregnant and she'd died in a zoo fire. Then Godzilla had appeared in the timeline and the friend turned into one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Horse had woken up, as he often did when his dreams got exciting. His brain couldn't handle excitement.
It was strange thinking about the past. Horse tried to remember some of the childhood holidays he'd been on when he was just a pony, but they all merged into one. He could remember hotel rooms but not which holiday then want with, and not enough details. The past was the past.
He check the Battlestar Galactica board. Still no replies to his thread.
He decided to stop writing this post.
_________________________________________
For, you see, Charles Horse didn't really own a Battlestar Galactica board. He'd never have been able to handle that responsibility. Charles Horse hadn't made the "SOMEBODY POST OR I'LL KILL MYSELF" post. Not anywhere. He had had the not gay dream and he was now social media stalking the friend to see if he really was gay, after writing a post for the Babylon 5 message board he didn't own but sometimes posted on. He knew nobody would read it anyway, since only his RACIST STEVE posts ever got any replies. He wondeed if anyone would notice the intentional similarities between RACIST STEVE and the fictional RACIST CLIVE. Then he remembered there was no RACIST CLIVE either, he'd just made that up to appear more intesting. He didn't even pretend to be racist on the internet. He really didn't pretend to be anything.
But he did push a small child in front of a car once.
He had that.
____________________________________________
Of course, Charles Horse didn't really have that either. He'd just dropped it in there to appear intesting in the thing he was writing on the old notepad in his bedroom. He didn't even have internet access anymore. Not since he'd downloaded all those terrorism manuals.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
No, that wans't real either
No
nothing was real
there was no thing
nothing
charloes horse was riting this on SCUMBBS the message board he'd posted on for 18 years because no one else would havehim
it was closing downin a month
maybe if the own read this he'd find that "KILL MYSELF" part and keep it open
maybe
because
that woculd happen
the owner hadn't poste din 7 years
and his last post had been "SHT THE FUCK UP, HORSE"
but Horse kept rwting
he didn't care
he kept typing
sometime someone would read it
someone would feel something
someone would notice
surely
Charles Horse had to believe
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) in truth
no
ther eis not truth
ithere is nothing
Charlose Heros
fd
df
agagdajg
fgs
pfds
____________________________
Alien from the future found this thread on SCUMBBS and deleed it from their archive of the entire internet history of the Earth because they thought it was unworthy.
That was the thread title Charles Horse decided on. He had agonised over it. Was it going too far? Was it not going far enough? They would get that it was a joke, right? He wasn't being serious. He knew that. He wasn't going to kill himself. He didn't want them to think he was going to kill himself. Or did he? Maybe he wanted them to think it. Maybe he wanted the to fucking feel bad for not posting on the Battlestar Galactica message board he'd started fifteen years ago and worry that he was going to kill himself as a result. Maybe he could live off their fucking sympathy. He didn't know. It was probably just supposed to be taken as a joke. The post itself was funny, right?
"Literally have nothing left except this Battlestar Galactica message board and none of you have posted about Gaius Batlar's character arc for too fucking long and I might as well fucking kill myself it would would make no difference I woudn't even notice because I'd be fucking dead."
That was funny! Total comedy. They knew Charles Horse. Everyone there knew about him and his unique Horse style. It would be fine. It would proably be fine.
"YOU FUCKING CUNTS I FUCK HATE YOU ALL."
He made that follow-up post just to be extra sure they knew he was joking.
"I'M LITERALLY FUCKING FINDING ALL THE PILLS I HAVE IN THE HOUSE AND I'M GOING TO SLASH MY WRISTS TOO CUNTS."
That would get some laughs!
"THIS ISN'T EVEN A FUCKING JOKE, I AM GOING TO DIE TONIGHT AND IT'S LITEALLY ALL OF YOUR FAULT FOR NOT DOING WHAT I FUCKING WANT YOU TO."
Ha!
"DLASDALG8SG8ARJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAG DEAHT DEAHT DEAHT DEHAT FUFKICNG DEAHT IT'S NOT EVEN A BIG DEAL IT'S LITERALLY NOTHING LIFE IS O FUCKING SHORT AND POINTLESS I'M LITEALLY GOING TOT DIE AT ANY MOMENT AND I TYPE ITERALLY TOO MCUHE VEYRONE DIES EVEN THE BEST PERSON EVER DIED AND THEY WER THE BEST PERSON EVER SO I'M GOING TO FUCKING DIE NOW IT'S OKA YOU'LL FROGETME AND DIE TOO YOU ARSEBISCUITS FUCK YOU ALL YOU CUNTNOSES"
Okay maybe the vodka he was drinking was getting to him now.
"I WAS THE ONE BEHIND THE RACIST CLIVE DUAL."
Racist Clive had been a poster on the message board who'd made the most vile racist remarks possible over several years. Horse himself had posted how disgusted he was by it and that he didn't know how Racist Clive kept getting back on the board. The reason was simple: Horse had made the sixteen thousand racist posts himself. He didn't even hold racist views. He didn't even reall know why he did it. But it had made him happy for a while. Hurting his friends. He'd liked it.
He decided not to bury the Racist Clive revealation under more spam. He thought about the dream he'd had the night before...
In that dream, an old school friend had come to visit him, nearly twenty years since they'd last met. They'd been talking normally when suddenly the friend had told him that he was gay. That he'd been gay all this time. Horse had shrugged, it wasn't a big deal. The friend had reminded Horse that he'd once tried to kiss him when he'd been young. Horse remembered it, he'd been at the age where he'd wanted to fuck anything. Horse told his friend that he remembered. The friend looked at him...and Horse told him he wasn't gay. It was true, he wasn't. But Horse had felt disappointed with himself, even in the dream. He could have had gay dream sex but he'd turned it down. Why?
Horse had then rememered in the dream that he'd social media stalked this friend and found he was a single father to a daughter. He reminded the friend of that, but the friend said he'd been kidding himself and got a girl pregnant and she'd died in a zoo fire. Then Godzilla had appeared in the timeline and the friend turned into one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Horse had woken up, as he often did when his dreams got exciting. His brain couldn't handle excitement.
It was strange thinking about the past. Horse tried to remember some of the childhood holidays he'd been on when he was just a pony, but they all merged into one. He could remember hotel rooms but not which holiday then want with, and not enough details. The past was the past.
He check the Battlestar Galactica board. Still no replies to his thread.
He decided to stop writing this post.
_________________________________________
For, you see, Charles Horse didn't really own a Battlestar Galactica board. He'd never have been able to handle that responsibility. Charles Horse hadn't made the "SOMEBODY POST OR I'LL KILL MYSELF" post. Not anywhere. He had had the not gay dream and he was now social media stalking the friend to see if he really was gay, after writing a post for the Babylon 5 message board he didn't own but sometimes posted on. He knew nobody would read it anyway, since only his RACIST STEVE posts ever got any replies. He wondeed if anyone would notice the intentional similarities between RACIST STEVE and the fictional RACIST CLIVE. Then he remembered there was no RACIST CLIVE either, he'd just made that up to appear more intesting. He didn't even pretend to be racist on the internet. He really didn't pretend to be anything.
But he did push a small child in front of a car once.
He had that.
____________________________________________
Of course, Charles Horse didn't really have that either. He'd just dropped it in there to appear intesting in the thing he was writing on the old notepad in his bedroom. He didn't even have internet access anymore. Not since he'd downloaded all those terrorism manuals.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
No, that wans't real either
No
nothing was real
there was no thing
nothing
charloes horse was riting this on SCUMBBS the message board he'd posted on for 18 years because no one else would havehim
it was closing downin a month
maybe if the own read this he'd find that "KILL MYSELF" part and keep it open
maybe
because
that woculd happen
the owner hadn't poste din 7 years
and his last post had been "SHT THE FUCK UP, HORSE"
but Horse kept rwting
he didn't care
he kept typing
sometime someone would read it
someone would feel something
someone would notice
surely
Charles Horse had to believe
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) in truth
no
ther eis not truth
ithere is nothing
Charlose Heros
fd
df
agagdajg
fgs
pfds
____________________________
Alien from the future found this thread on SCUMBBS and deleed it from their archive of the entire internet history of the Earth because they thought it was unworthy.