CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"A time gun," said Horseface, to himself. "They're fucking real."
"...do you ever just wank so much that you completely damage your cock to the point where you can't touch it without feeling pan, where just your underwear touching it is agony, that even just exposing it to air has you writhing...then you wank again. You don't care. You could die at any moment, so why not wank. Why not always be wanking. Wank until it falls off. Wank until..."
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" said Horseface. "I don't want to listen to your fucking wank log."
"I used to have a wank log," said the robot. "On the internet...used it. I...this is the future, isn't it."
"Yes," said Horseface. "We got hit by a time gun."
"I was human...then I was a robot...you told me so. I...spent a long time dreaming. But then everything changed again?"
"Like I said, we got hit by a time gun."
"That's a thing?"
"Evidentally." Horseface looked around some more. There wasn't much to see but the vegetation. He walked to the door, with the robot following. Everything was overgrown outside too. There was no sign of the balloon addict. There was no sign of anybody. "Maybe I won't be murdering in six days," Horseface added at last.
"Murdering? You're a murderer?" asked the robot. So human.
"You murder or you die," shrugged Horseface. It was life. "Don't worry, I won't kill you. Not even in six days."
"I...thank you?" said the robot. "Tell me more about time guns."
"Sometimes people appear," said Horseface. "Out of nowhere. They say they don't know how it happened, that they were shot by some kind of beam. And years have passed. But usually only a couple of years...this. This is more. But...I supposed it makes sense, if the time gun was only invented ten years or so before what was the present day. People sent further into the future wouldn't have arrived yet." They headed outside.
The whole city was gone. Either eaten up by vegetation or crumbled beyond repair. Horseface laughed. Everything he knew gone.
"This doesn't look good," said the robot. "Is there a way for you to go home? A time gun that sends you back in time?"
"None of the suddenly appearing have ever claimed to be sent from the future," said Horseface. "We're going to die here. I'm going to die because I woke up a fucking robot."
"Why did you wake me up anyway?" the robot asked.
"There was a keycard and a note...I was curious," sighed Horseface. "I'll never find out why the guy I murdered want you woke up, if he even wrote the note. Maybe he was another poor sucker like me drawn into the mystery."
"And we were sent to the future because..."
"How the fuck would I know!" said Horseface, throwing his hands in the air. "I need to find food. Maybe there's still some wildlife around here..."
They walked. And walked. Horseface could see the building where he used to live in the distance. It had a massive hole in the side of it and the top floors were gone. There was little chance anything had survived inside. Still...maybe he should check. Out of nostalgia at least. He started walking in its direction.
That was when they jumped out. They were like humans, but with horns on their heads. There had been no mutants like that in Horseface's time. He smiled.
"A rumble, then," he said.
"WAIT!" said the robot. He turned to the horned men. "Who are you? What do you want from us?"
"We are the devils," said one of them. "And we want to FEAST."
"Great, good to know," said Horseface. He wished he had his prying device with him. It hadn't been killing time when he'd been sent to the future, so he'd left it at home. He would have to rely on his fists and feet. There were at least six of the devils. He'd probably die.
Before he could do anything, the robot flew by him. He punched the first devil in the face before it had a chance to react. His face was caved in by the blow. All his features just disappeared. He was anonymous in death, thanks to the robot. A second devil jumped at the robot, but the robot just reach out one hand and grabbed him by the throat. There was a snap and now two devils were dead in just seconds. The other four turned to run. The robot took a few more steps and grabbed the nearest one. He threw it to the ground and caved its head in too with a stomp.
Horseface watched in disbelief. It was somehow the strangest thing that had happened today.
"Did I do that?" asked the robot, looking at the three dead bodies.
TO BE THINGTINUED
"...do you ever just wank so much that you completely damage your cock to the point where you can't touch it without feeling pan, where just your underwear touching it is agony, that even just exposing it to air has you writhing...then you wank again. You don't care. You could die at any moment, so why not wank. Why not always be wanking. Wank until it falls off. Wank until..."
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" said Horseface. "I don't want to listen to your fucking wank log."
"I used to have a wank log," said the robot. "On the internet...used it. I...this is the future, isn't it."
"Yes," said Horseface. "We got hit by a time gun."
"I was human...then I was a robot...you told me so. I...spent a long time dreaming. But then everything changed again?"
"Like I said, we got hit by a time gun."
"That's a thing?"
"Evidentally." Horseface looked around some more. There wasn't much to see but the vegetation. He walked to the door, with the robot following. Everything was overgrown outside too. There was no sign of the balloon addict. There was no sign of anybody. "Maybe I won't be murdering in six days," Horseface added at last.
"Murdering? You're a murderer?" asked the robot. So human.
"You murder or you die," shrugged Horseface. It was life. "Don't worry, I won't kill you. Not even in six days."
"I...thank you?" said the robot. "Tell me more about time guns."
"Sometimes people appear," said Horseface. "Out of nowhere. They say they don't know how it happened, that they were shot by some kind of beam. And years have passed. But usually only a couple of years...this. This is more. But...I supposed it makes sense, if the time gun was only invented ten years or so before what was the present day. People sent further into the future wouldn't have arrived yet." They headed outside.
The whole city was gone. Either eaten up by vegetation or crumbled beyond repair. Horseface laughed. Everything he knew gone.
"This doesn't look good," said the robot. "Is there a way for you to go home? A time gun that sends you back in time?"
"None of the suddenly appearing have ever claimed to be sent from the future," said Horseface. "We're going to die here. I'm going to die because I woke up a fucking robot."
"Why did you wake me up anyway?" the robot asked.
"There was a keycard and a note...I was curious," sighed Horseface. "I'll never find out why the guy I murdered want you woke up, if he even wrote the note. Maybe he was another poor sucker like me drawn into the mystery."
"And we were sent to the future because..."
"How the fuck would I know!" said Horseface, throwing his hands in the air. "I need to find food. Maybe there's still some wildlife around here..."
They walked. And walked. Horseface could see the building where he used to live in the distance. It had a massive hole in the side of it and the top floors were gone. There was little chance anything had survived inside. Still...maybe he should check. Out of nostalgia at least. He started walking in its direction.
That was when they jumped out. They were like humans, but with horns on their heads. There had been no mutants like that in Horseface's time. He smiled.
"A rumble, then," he said.
"WAIT!" said the robot. He turned to the horned men. "Who are you? What do you want from us?"
"We are the devils," said one of them. "And we want to FEAST."
"Great, good to know," said Horseface. He wished he had his prying device with him. It hadn't been killing time when he'd been sent to the future, so he'd left it at home. He would have to rely on his fists and feet. There were at least six of the devils. He'd probably die.
Before he could do anything, the robot flew by him. He punched the first devil in the face before it had a chance to react. His face was caved in by the blow. All his features just disappeared. He was anonymous in death, thanks to the robot. A second devil jumped at the robot, but the robot just reach out one hand and grabbed him by the throat. There was a snap and now two devils were dead in just seconds. The other four turned to run. The robot took a few more steps and grabbed the nearest one. He threw it to the ground and caved its head in too with a stomp.
Horseface watched in disbelief. It was somehow the strangest thing that had happened today.
"Did I do that?" asked the robot, looking at the three dead bodies.
TO BE THINGTINUED