CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
he stood pressed against the railing at the edge of the bridge looking down at the crowd of people and aliens (for it is the future) below.
"here she comes," he said, smiling broadly.
"go for it then," said Bob.
"wow, look at that dress..." she was in a blue dress he hadn't seen before.
"yeah, very nice," said Bob.
"she just stands out," he said, "there's aliens down there, Bob, aliens! Five years they've been here and I still get a tingly feeling when I look at aliens. but they're just like any other human being today, compared to her, in her light."
"she's just going to college, why does she have to wear a dress like that," said bob.
"she can pull it off," he said, dismissively. he was used to being dismissive on the bridge with bob.
"she wants people looking at her," said bob. "look at the way she's smiling at everyone."
"she's a nice person!" bob was being absurd.
"you don't know her. she looks like she could be a stuck-up bitch to me."
"how can you judge her like that!"
"how can you?"
he didn't reply. she was passing under the bridge now. he looked right down at her beautiful blond head...then ran to the other side of the bridge to watch her walk into the distance. bob followed at his own pace.
"so are you going to talk to her today, then? shout at her? what was it you said, two days ago when you first saw her?"
"that one day I'll just shout down taht i love her. because i do love her, bob, i lived her at first sight."
"well, today is one day. go on."
"not the right day."
"i see. just like it wasn't the right day to talk to Andrea..."
"that was different!"
"exactly the same, as far as i can recall."
"she wasn't...she wasn't who i thought she was..."
"you were convinced you loved her too!"
"i didn't know what love was then!"
"pass the sick bucket."
she had passed out of view.
"one day," he said. "one day i'll declare my love for her in such a way that she'll realise that she loves me too, that she always has loved me, even though she didn't know it. one day."
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it was in the event a week later when he spoke to her for the first time and there was no great declaration of love, just a "hi." bob convinced him to just "bump into her" on the street now that he knew her routine and he did...literally. she dropped her books and he was ambarrassed to notice a flash of rage on her face, but they got talking and amazingly she was a film student and so was he, so that was something. they casually arranged to meet.
they met.
she was more wild than he had even imagined.
she was rude to people, kind to people, seemingly at random.
they kept meeting. he kept trying and trying. sometimes she paid attention.
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then she was his.
she was more wild than he had even imagined.
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it was a party. he felt like watching her the whole time, to make sure no other man could even speak a word to her, but he didn't want to appear desperate. he played it cool. he even let her leave the room. she was out of his sight for thirty whole minutes as he chatted idly with an Krrryaaaat alien about their version of movies.
then he walked in on her and another girl.
they were only having fun, she explained, just a laugh.
then another guy stood up, apparently he had passed out behind the bed. he was naked too.
she laughed. she laughed at him.
he ran.
everything inside him hurt.
he tried to make sense of it. it hurt more.
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he left his bedroom and saw bob.
"I want the XEROGHON drug," he told bob, in no uncertain terms.
"dude, i know she hurt you...but that stuff fucks you up. it's not for us. alien biology, it's different."
"you used to do it"
"and it nearly killed me."
"sounds good to me."
but bob wouldn't help him. it was easy enough to find another supplier. then said the XEROGHON drug created experiences in your mind that seemed even more real than real life, that you could happily live in a XEROGHON delusion for days.
of course you'd forget to eat, sleep and wash yourself, but that was a small rpice to pay.
he took it and at first it did nothing.
then he was back in the bedroom and she was laughing and this time the other girl and the other guy were laughing too.
he could change things, do things differently, do whatever he want.
he still ran.
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he was back on the bridge, being dismissive to bob. she was about to walk under. he would do it, this time.
he didn't shout his love to her. he jumped off the bridge and landed on his feet, right in front of her. she was taken aback.
"you are mine," he said and she nodded for she knew it were true.
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the doctor's told bob that he had taken so much of the drug he would still be experiencing the delusions even in his coma. he knew this because he could hear the doctor, hear bob...he could even hear her the day she came to visit. that surprised him. he tried hard to wake up that day, he really did. but part of him knew he was better off in his coma, living in his head, living with the lies. living where she would always love him.
X
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and so on.
"here she comes," he said, smiling broadly.
"go for it then," said Bob.
"wow, look at that dress..." she was in a blue dress he hadn't seen before.
"yeah, very nice," said Bob.
"she just stands out," he said, "there's aliens down there, Bob, aliens! Five years they've been here and I still get a tingly feeling when I look at aliens. but they're just like any other human being today, compared to her, in her light."
"she's just going to college, why does she have to wear a dress like that," said bob.
"she can pull it off," he said, dismissively. he was used to being dismissive on the bridge with bob.
"she wants people looking at her," said bob. "look at the way she's smiling at everyone."
"she's a nice person!" bob was being absurd.
"you don't know her. she looks like she could be a stuck-up bitch to me."
"how can you judge her like that!"
"how can you?"
he didn't reply. she was passing under the bridge now. he looked right down at her beautiful blond head...then ran to the other side of the bridge to watch her walk into the distance. bob followed at his own pace.
"so are you going to talk to her today, then? shout at her? what was it you said, two days ago when you first saw her?"
"that one day I'll just shout down taht i love her. because i do love her, bob, i lived her at first sight."
"well, today is one day. go on."
"not the right day."
"i see. just like it wasn't the right day to talk to Andrea..."
"that was different!"
"exactly the same, as far as i can recall."
"she wasn't...she wasn't who i thought she was..."
"you were convinced you loved her too!"
"i didn't know what love was then!"
"pass the sick bucket."
she had passed out of view.
"one day," he said. "one day i'll declare my love for her in such a way that she'll realise that she loves me too, that she always has loved me, even though she didn't know it. one day."
X
XX
XXX
XXXX
XXXXX
XXXXXX
XXXXXXX
it was in the event a week later when he spoke to her for the first time and there was no great declaration of love, just a "hi." bob convinced him to just "bump into her" on the street now that he knew her routine and he did...literally. she dropped her books and he was ambarrassed to notice a flash of rage on her face, but they got talking and amazingly she was a film student and so was he, so that was something. they casually arranged to meet.
they met.
she was more wild than he had even imagined.
she was rude to people, kind to people, seemingly at random.
they kept meeting. he kept trying and trying. sometimes she paid attention.
X
XX
XXX
XXXX
XXXXX
XXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXXX
then she was his.
she was more wild than he had even imagined.
X
XX
XXX
it was a party. he felt like watching her the whole time, to make sure no other man could even speak a word to her, but he didn't want to appear desperate. he played it cool. he even let her leave the room. she was out of his sight for thirty whole minutes as he chatted idly with an Krrryaaaat alien about their version of movies.
then he walked in on her and another girl.
they were only having fun, she explained, just a laugh.
then another guy stood up, apparently he had passed out behind the bed. he was naked too.
she laughed. she laughed at him.
he ran.
everything inside him hurt.
he tried to make sense of it. it hurt more.
X
XX
XXX
he left his bedroom and saw bob.
"I want the XEROGHON drug," he told bob, in no uncertain terms.
"dude, i know she hurt you...but that stuff fucks you up. it's not for us. alien biology, it's different."
"you used to do it"
"and it nearly killed me."
"sounds good to me."
but bob wouldn't help him. it was easy enough to find another supplier. then said the XEROGHON drug created experiences in your mind that seemed even more real than real life, that you could happily live in a XEROGHON delusion for days.
of course you'd forget to eat, sleep and wash yourself, but that was a small rpice to pay.
he took it and at first it did nothing.
then he was back in the bedroom and she was laughing and this time the other girl and the other guy were laughing too.
he could change things, do things differently, do whatever he want.
he still ran.
X
XX
XXX
XXXX
he was back on the bridge, being dismissive to bob. she was about to walk under. he would do it, this time.
he didn't shout his love to her. he jumped off the bridge and landed on his feet, right in front of her. she was taken aback.
"you are mine," he said and she nodded for she knew it were true.
X
XX
XXX
XXXX
XXXXX
XXXXXX
XXXXXXX
the doctor's told bob that he had taken so much of the drug he would still be experiencing the delusions even in his coma. he knew this because he could hear the doctor, hear bob...he could even hear her the day she came to visit. that surprised him. he tried hard to wake up that day, he really did. but part of him knew he was better off in his coma, living in his head, living with the lies. living where she would always love him.
X
XX
XXX
XXXX
and so on.
