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THING OF THE DAY (thing+25)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
The problem with just randomly stabbing at the keyboard is that the resulting text doesn't mean anything to you, the readers.


jkljklsdfhjkldhjklsdh dfhi fhdjkl ha sGIGH


see

that doesn't mean anything

it help me vent my frustrations

but it doesn't mean anything

SCUM SCUM SCUM SCUM SCUM SCUMS FUCK SHIT

that's better becasue at least it's words

but it wasn't as satisfying for me

I still had to think a little to form the words

random angry formless key attacks are so much more fun g
sdh
fsdjklfhjklsdhji sdfh opdfyh
sdfh
sfh fhsdfhl l JKLDLSLFHK SDJJG
DFHS
JH SDFHKL SHSITS LDGNKSJ SGLKD SHLGL ASDF FUKC UFK C SUDFKU FSKLGJKK Ssgd
g
sg
h
ds gk sdkgh sgK SLOOOK AT AME I'M AS HAPPY AS A DEAD BABY

I can kind of get in a rhythym sometimes and type words at the end

but it's not enough

it's never enough

_______________________________________________

HAGRID HAS A BETTER LILFE THAN ME

ther'e snot point telling me about your life
#I dwon't understand

it's like telling an alien

that's what it is

imagine yourself on an alien world

THAt'S ME

not just that I don't like mainstream tv (even though I do) or music or food (mainstream food) just that EVERYTING IS WRONG AND ALIEN A BIT

it's all just a bit dnl
nj
df
h
sdhf
sh

dh REALITY DIVERGEd


_____________________-----

h

sdhjh

gh________--h
sd
hkgsdh kg HHH THE GAME THE BIG H THE BIG HEROIN JUNKIE



_________________________

SIT COM SCRIPT

Man: Hi hoeny, I'm home!

Woman: About time, you're dinner's getting cold!

Man: As cold as you are in bed?

Studio Audience: WHOOOO! WHOOOT!

Woman: You want me to spit in your dinner TWICE tonight instead of the usual once?

Man: Actually, yeah, the chicken's always too dry anyway!

Studio Audience: LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!

Another Section Of The Studio Audience Who Weren't Laughing: LOL LOL THEY'RE LAUGHING SO WE SHOULD TOO, LOL!

The First Part Of The Studio Audience Aagain: LAUGH HARDER, WE HAVE TO BEAT THESE GUYS, LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!

(The sexy teenage daughter walks in. She's not actually all that sexy but is dressed in a stereotypical sexy way so you know she's sexy.)

Man: And where have you been, young lady?

Woman: Go easy on her.

Man: Yeah, like how you were EASY in highschool? I don't think so!

Daughter: I was getting BANGED...

Man: WHAT!?

Daughter: ...I went to the shooting range with my right wing friends! We call that getting banned!

Man: Oh!

(The smartarse son comes home.)

Woman: And where have YOU been, young man?

Man: Go easy on her.

Woman: What, like how you were EASILY manipulating by your boss into taking a low paying job with longer hours?

Son: I was out RAPING...

Woman: WHAT?!

Son: ...some kid's childhood! I showed him the original, 1977 version of Star Wars, then showed him the 1997 crappy special edition! I killed his imagination forever!

Man: Ha! That's exactly the kid of wacky, cynical thing a son of mine would do!

Son: Thanks pop!

(The father and son play air guitar for ten minutes.)

Daughter: I hope I have my peroid soon!

Woman: What!?

Daughter: My PEROID of reflection!

Woman: Oh!

(A pregnancy test falls out of the daughter's handbag.)

Daughter: Oops!

Woman: WHAT!?

(The man and son stop playing air guitar.)

Man: Who's the father!? WHO IS IT!

Daughter: Dad, I love him!

Son: But tell him what he is!

Daughter: You evil little shit!

Man: What is he, WHAT IS HE?!

Daughter: He's...he's...a traffic warden!

Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Show is cancelled by FOX in its prime, the end)


________________________--

MAYBE I SHOULD WRITE A SONG

_______________________-

What, what, what...
What's that thing over there!?
It's CaptainWacky!
What's he doing over there!?
He's crying!
Why's he crying over there!?
He's a retard!
What's his fucking problem anyway?
I said, what's his fucking problem anyway?

I'm out of phase!
Like Geordi and Ro!
I'm not quite human!
Would never go to a ho!
Wouldn't know what to do!
With a girl in his bed!
Wouldn't know what to do!
Even with a guy instead!
He's wrong!
He ain't quite right!
He's wrong!
He's a total gobshite!

Now I understand, it's just CaptainCrappy!
Now I understand, he can't even rappy!
Look at his face, it's the face he deserves!
He's got no sanity left, none in reserve!
He should kill himself, but he can't even do that!
He should kill himself, but he's a worthless twat!
He fears what he doesn't understand, and he doesn't understand much!
Lock him up in a cage, or like a rabbit in a hutch!

I'm out of phase!
Like Geordi and Ro!
I'm not quite human!
Would never go to a ho!
Wouldn't know what to do!
With a girl in his bed!
Wouldn't know what to do!
Even with a guy instead!
He's wrong!
He ain't quite right!
He's wrong!
He's a total gobshite!

Yeah, yeah, just somebody shoot him!
Yeah, yeah, maybe Vladamir Putin!

_________________-


ANYWAY


__________________-

do we all end up wit the face we deserve?

If you have the face of a twat are you destined to be a twat?

Even if you try not to be a twat you still have a twat's face.

People will treat you like a twat.

You might find yourself being a twat without even meaning to!

So what's the point of trying?

No one succesful has the face of someone not successful!

g
asjgk______---
g
agki


WHatgljgh


THIS WAS A GOOD EDITION OF THING OF TH EDAY WASN'T IT
 
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