CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
gf
ntohign
ntong
tnohg
ntongthing
WHAT EXACTLY IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENIGN HERE?
how do I know if I'm feeling things right?
like
frustrations
I definitely feel that one
that one worsk
but other emotions?
do they work?
love?
I don't think my "love" workds
but I'm starting too big
but like
people
people with fucntioing emotions
watch football games and cheer and stuff
I wouldn't do that
but maybe thata's just because I liked football
but I like wrestling, right
and if I went to a wrestling event I WOULDN'T CHEER AND STUFF
i'd stand in silence
because I'd be embarrassed
or cheer at the wrong time
or do it worng
and I WOULD if I ddid
and it would feel wrong
and if I tried to relax it would be worse because I'd forget and Id' be doing it wrong and I'd fucking explode with humility
yeah
I wouldn't do that
I wouldn't laugh at a stand-up comedian
I laugh soemtimes
at things
so I do have a sense of humour
but I wouldn't sit there roaring with laughter at someone saying "garlic bread" or something
NEVer
you could say that's just elitism
but it's just because my brain doesn't work, actually
even the cool things
I wouldn't laugh right at the cool thigns
I'd get them in my head
but everyone else would be reacting differently outwardly
so that's a thing
s
g
sg
I JUST THINK ABOUT EVERYTINg
iI'M THINKING ABOUT THIS STUPID FUCKING THINGOFTHE DAY TOO MUCHY AND IT'S ALREAYD GOING WRONG
NOT SAYING WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY
FUCKING VOID OF NOTHGIGNNESS IN MY HEAD FLOATING ABOUT AND EXSTINGUISHIGN ANYTHING THAT GORWS THERE
I WAS SYAING
what ar ethe other emotions?
like
pridE?
lol
umm
just
things
liek
with people
people like talking to other people
they feel stuff
even saying stupid trivial
things
AND DON'T DENY IT
becasue you wouldn't do it at all if yo werne't
getting soething out of it
but i get nothing out of it
less than nothing
causes PAIN kind of
FRUSTARTIPN PUCNH SELF LOL anyway
yeah
so I don't do that
ad getting deeper and making a real connection?
never happesn
there's nothign in me to connect with
and they'll just be talking about cheering at football or laughing at the edgy stand-up anyway
so no
there's nothing
what other emotionst?
I can't think of any
mmmmmmmmmmm
HUNGEr
hta'ts not an emotin
______________________________---
"this is where we put lost thigns" said the caretaker
"like what?" he asked
"anyting," said the caretaker "everything. anything lost comes here eventually."
"there's not that many things," he said, looking around
"isn't theRE?" The caretaker opened a door. an avalanche of pens came out. "taht's just the door to the pens."
"so what goes in the main room?"
"the things lost froever. those pens, there's still a chance they'lll be found, somewhere. they're kind of in stoorage, utnil there's no chance of anyone finding them...then they seep through to here."
"so like this pair of glasses..."
"buried under concrete, owner long dead...we see no chance of them being found. and if they are they'll probably be destroye din the process."
"so they'd disappeare then?"
"a shadow would remian." he pointed to the corner of the room which was decepitvely large. it was dark, too dark to see, yet things could be seen. shadow things. scary things.
"I don't like it there!"
"let's hope you never end up in that corner."
"wait...why am I in the mian room?"
"isn't that obvious?"
"I'm lost...I'm LOST and no one will ever find me?"
"Are you surpised?"
"but i'm in bed!"
"you coudl be in a room of crowded people, you'd still be beyond their reach. beyond their touch. buried in your defective mindscape. miles of greymatter betrween you and everyone else."
"can't i ever get out? does anyone ever get out?"
"well I didn't."
ntohign
ntong
tnohg
ntongthing
WHAT EXACTLY IS SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENIGN HERE?
how do I know if I'm feeling things right?
like
frustrations
I definitely feel that one
that one worsk
but other emotions?
do they work?
love?
I don't think my "love" workds
but I'm starting too big
but like
people
people with fucntioing emotions
watch football games and cheer and stuff
I wouldn't do that
but maybe thata's just because I liked football
but I like wrestling, right
and if I went to a wrestling event I WOULDN'T CHEER AND STUFF
i'd stand in silence
because I'd be embarrassed
or cheer at the wrong time
or do it worng
and I WOULD if I ddid
and it would feel wrong
and if I tried to relax it would be worse because I'd forget and Id' be doing it wrong and I'd fucking explode with humility
yeah
I wouldn't do that
I wouldn't laugh at a stand-up comedian
I laugh soemtimes
at things
so I do have a sense of humour
but I wouldn't sit there roaring with laughter at someone saying "garlic bread" or something
NEVer
you could say that's just elitism
but it's just because my brain doesn't work, actually
even the cool things
I wouldn't laugh right at the cool thigns
I'd get them in my head
but everyone else would be reacting differently outwardly
so that's a thing
s
g
sg
I JUST THINK ABOUT EVERYTINg
iI'M THINKING ABOUT THIS STUPID FUCKING THINGOFTHE DAY TOO MUCHY AND IT'S ALREAYD GOING WRONG
NOT SAYING WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY
FUCKING VOID OF NOTHGIGNNESS IN MY HEAD FLOATING ABOUT AND EXSTINGUISHIGN ANYTHING THAT GORWS THERE
I WAS SYAING
what ar ethe other emotions?
like
pridE?
lol
umm
just
things
liek
with people
people like talking to other people
they feel stuff
even saying stupid trivial
things
AND DON'T DENY IT
becasue you wouldn't do it at all if yo werne't
getting soething out of it
but i get nothing out of it
less than nothing
causes PAIN kind of
FRUSTARTIPN PUCNH SELF LOL anyway
yeah
so I don't do that
ad getting deeper and making a real connection?
never happesn
there's nothign in me to connect with
and they'll just be talking about cheering at football or laughing at the edgy stand-up anyway
so no
there's nothing
what other emotionst?
I can't think of any
mmmmmmmmmmm
HUNGEr
hta'ts not an emotin
______________________________---
"this is where we put lost thigns" said the caretaker
"like what?" he asked
"anyting," said the caretaker "everything. anything lost comes here eventually."
"there's not that many things," he said, looking around
"isn't theRE?" The caretaker opened a door. an avalanche of pens came out. "taht's just the door to the pens."
"so what goes in the main room?"
"the things lost froever. those pens, there's still a chance they'lll be found, somewhere. they're kind of in stoorage, utnil there's no chance of anyone finding them...then they seep through to here."
"so like this pair of glasses..."
"buried under concrete, owner long dead...we see no chance of them being found. and if they are they'll probably be destroye din the process."
"so they'd disappeare then?"
"a shadow would remian." he pointed to the corner of the room which was decepitvely large. it was dark, too dark to see, yet things could be seen. shadow things. scary things.
"I don't like it there!"
"let's hope you never end up in that corner."
"wait...why am I in the mian room?"
"isn't that obvious?"
"I'm lost...I'm LOST and no one will ever find me?"
"Are you surpised?"
"but i'm in bed!"
"you coudl be in a room of crowded people, you'd still be beyond their reach. beyond their touch. buried in your defective mindscape. miles of greymatter betrween you and everyone else."
"can't i ever get out? does anyone ever get out?"
"well I didn't."