CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
no thing through time or charles horse or charlese biscuit or whatever he was called or frank horse or hayy sniffer or harry sniffer or any of that shit nothing at all really brain hurts barely exist just wnat to be asleep don't exist when you're asleep that's funny isn't it how my whole existence isn't really real yeah sorry went back to that but think about it when you're asleep you don't exist dreams don't count you don't even remember most of them it's just your mind playing out nonsesne don't even think about dreams no one sleeps to dream it'sjust the nonexstence i cracve because o fmy sore brain but what if i don't wake up i'll never know so that shows how fragile and pathetic this is and by "this" I mof course mean life it's all just built up in my head layers upon layers of illusion and lies all just sitting on top of each other fooling me all the time and the part their fooling is also a made-up lie that's pretty fucking impressive really the levels of pure deception that make up who I imagine myself to be even now by creating this i'm adding to it but of course this means nothing could literally die right this moment ect are mometns even real i'm just a bubble of conciousness the latest in a long line just made up of all the lies and memories and memoires aren't evne real either we don't remember what actually happene4d we just remember the memory we've put in our heads so there is no me blah blah blah self tickle explained this all before but the more i repeat it i think the more i make myhg point but to what end do i want you all to be the same as me well no but i can't be the same as you it's not a choice i'm just like this and sometimes i get reminded of it like when i leave my comfort zone and believe me my comfort zone is a very limite sphere of zoneness and when i leave it i feel completely different and less so much less like i'm asleep when the anxiety isn't overhwleming me that is actually it's the fading away that gives me the anxiety just wnat to be back in my comfort zeon existing so yes everytime i leave it i brcome more aware that i can never be like the rest sorry it's true you will all roll your eyes and act disgusted you like it when i'm a bit different but when I'm too different you can't brlieve it becasue you can't believe anythign outsite of your own sphere of experiecen and existence and you think i'll just end up following your patterns but i waon't so yeah i've alreayd forogtten what exactly i was trying to express with this thing of the day i had it all in my head but of course i don't know if i even had it in words or just ideas or if i just beleived i had it anyway this his how it came out it just comes down to me saying i'm not normal yay again how fuckdamn original but of cousre it being this bad and so poorly express is adding to the overall goal of thing of the day isn't it yeah maybe and it will never change brain really hruts now there is nothing there is nothing really actually nothing such fucking greyness behind my eyes now keep touching my hair why it's just a habit or something there is no tohing no anxiety at this moemtn just sitting here looking at the screen the white is burning my eyes now hahaha burning through me no there's no me to burn though i wish everyone was like me actually i do i take back wha ti said eearly then you'd fucking understand instead of jthingkgfindsagfldagkl whatever you think nobody likes me just going to die