CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
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anna kendrick
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9
___________
The following is a James Turnip story
____________
Kevin Saunders liked the look of the crayons. His new friend Brian was playing with them, so Kevin waited until Brian was talking to someone else and took the crayons. He turned around and get busy drawing. Brian asked what had happened and Kevin said he thought Brain was finished with them. He didn't really offer to give them back, he just kept drawing.
One time Brian said something funny that made the other boys laugh. "Spaghetti hair!" (It was funny in context.) Kevin laughed too...then went over to some other boys and used "spaghetti hair!" perfectly. They laughed. They said Kevin was alright.
As they got older, Kevin would copy Brian's answers sometimes. Brian was kind of weird by now. He didn't say much. He was clever, though. He talked about tv shows to Kevin sometimes. Kevin would then pass off those opinions as his own if he heard other children talking about those shows. Kevin felt no guilt. Why should he?
Kevin had quite a few friends. He wans't sure how much they liked him, so he had to do whatever he could to stay "cool" around them. That meant not talking to Brian in public. Brian was weird.
They still talked over the internet as they got older. Kevin once used something Brian said about music to impress a girl. She wouldn't go out with him, though.
Eventually they didn't talk for ten years.
Kevin hadn't aged well. He'd found it increasingly hard to talk to other people as he grew older. He wished he'd stayed friends with Brian, in a way. He'd always been there for him.
When Kevin saw Brian on the bus he tried to pretend he hadn't seen him, so that Brian woudln't talk to him. But Brian didn't seem to notice him either. Kevin sat there and he felt a kind of rage building up. Old memories came back. Who was Brian to ignore him? He had been more popular! He used to be someone when Brian was nothing. How dare he.
"Hi," he said, turning round to Brian. "Remmeber me?"
"Oh, Kevin," said Brian, after thinking for a moment. "How are you doing?"
Kevin told him. There wasn't much to tell. He asked Brian the same.
"Been a hard frew months," said Brian. "Don't know if you heard but my wife died."
Kevin laughed.
It had to be a joke, right? No way Brian had ever been married. And his wife dead, at that? He was young, of course she wasn't dead. She didn't even exist! He'd never been married. Maybe Brian had gone mad.
"That's...that's funny to you?" asked Brian. He was not laughing.
"I thought...it's a joke, right?" asked Kevin.
"She had cancer," said Brian.
"I didn't even know you were married," said Kevin. "How could you...I mean...I've never been married."
"What?" said Brian, starting to stir. He had looked depressed before, but now he looked almost angry. Or definitely angry. "WHat the FUCK?"
"We're on a bus, calm down, mate," said Kevin.
"I'm not your fucking mate," said Brian. "You were a twat in school and you're a twat now."
"Come on, you were the weird one!" said Kevin. He didn't know when he was saying this, or why he felt such resenment and anger at Brian. Was it...jealousy? Brian had been married! Okay his wife had died, but it was still more than Kevin had ever done. "Calm it!"
"When we get off this bus...fucking fight me," said Brian. He had struggled to say the second part. It was a strange thing to say.
"Come on!" said Kevin. "We were mates, I'm sorry I laughed, I really thought you were joking about your dead wife...come on!"
"Fuck you," said Brian.
"No, don't, it's not...it was...fuck!" said Kevin. Brian was standing up now. His fists were clecnhed.
"Oy, stop it you two," said a man with long yellow hair sitting across. "I don't know what's going on with both of you, but you can't be fighting on the bus."
"That's why I'm waiting until we get off," said Brian. Kevin felt scared...but when he looked at the man with the hair he thought of something. And he smiled.
"SPAGHETTI HAIR!" he shouted. Brian and the man looked puzzled. "You remember! He's got spaghetti hair!"
Brian looked blank for a long moment. He was actually thinking about it. And then, incredibly...he smiled.
"Fuck," he said at last. "Spaghetti hair. That was a thing."
He said down nexto to Kevin. Soon they started talking again.
Kevin vowed to himself that he'd do the frienship right this time. He owed Brian. He owed himself.
_____________________
PRIVATE BRAINSghfh
vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv
hhhhhhhhhhhhh
tttttttttttt
tttttttttttt
anna kendrick
g
g
iyjititiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii999999999999999
99999999999
9
___________
The following is a James Turnip story
____________
Kevin Saunders liked the look of the crayons. His new friend Brian was playing with them, so Kevin waited until Brian was talking to someone else and took the crayons. He turned around and get busy drawing. Brian asked what had happened and Kevin said he thought Brain was finished with them. He didn't really offer to give them back, he just kept drawing.
One time Brian said something funny that made the other boys laugh. "Spaghetti hair!" (It was funny in context.) Kevin laughed too...then went over to some other boys and used "spaghetti hair!" perfectly. They laughed. They said Kevin was alright.
As they got older, Kevin would copy Brian's answers sometimes. Brian was kind of weird by now. He didn't say much. He was clever, though. He talked about tv shows to Kevin sometimes. Kevin would then pass off those opinions as his own if he heard other children talking about those shows. Kevin felt no guilt. Why should he?
Kevin had quite a few friends. He wans't sure how much they liked him, so he had to do whatever he could to stay "cool" around them. That meant not talking to Brian in public. Brian was weird.
They still talked over the internet as they got older. Kevin once used something Brian said about music to impress a girl. She wouldn't go out with him, though.
Eventually they didn't talk for ten years.
Kevin hadn't aged well. He'd found it increasingly hard to talk to other people as he grew older. He wished he'd stayed friends with Brian, in a way. He'd always been there for him.
When Kevin saw Brian on the bus he tried to pretend he hadn't seen him, so that Brian woudln't talk to him. But Brian didn't seem to notice him either. Kevin sat there and he felt a kind of rage building up. Old memories came back. Who was Brian to ignore him? He had been more popular! He used to be someone when Brian was nothing. How dare he.
"Hi," he said, turning round to Brian. "Remmeber me?"
"Oh, Kevin," said Brian, after thinking for a moment. "How are you doing?"
Kevin told him. There wasn't much to tell. He asked Brian the same.
"Been a hard frew months," said Brian. "Don't know if you heard but my wife died."
Kevin laughed.
It had to be a joke, right? No way Brian had ever been married. And his wife dead, at that? He was young, of course she wasn't dead. She didn't even exist! He'd never been married. Maybe Brian had gone mad.
"That's...that's funny to you?" asked Brian. He was not laughing.
"I thought...it's a joke, right?" asked Kevin.
"She had cancer," said Brian.
"I didn't even know you were married," said Kevin. "How could you...I mean...I've never been married."
"What?" said Brian, starting to stir. He had looked depressed before, but now he looked almost angry. Or definitely angry. "WHat the FUCK?"
"We're on a bus, calm down, mate," said Kevin.
"I'm not your fucking mate," said Brian. "You were a twat in school and you're a twat now."
"Come on, you were the weird one!" said Kevin. He didn't know when he was saying this, or why he felt such resenment and anger at Brian. Was it...jealousy? Brian had been married! Okay his wife had died, but it was still more than Kevin had ever done. "Calm it!"
"When we get off this bus...fucking fight me," said Brian. He had struggled to say the second part. It was a strange thing to say.
"Come on!" said Kevin. "We were mates, I'm sorry I laughed, I really thought you were joking about your dead wife...come on!"
"Fuck you," said Brian.
"No, don't, it's not...it was...fuck!" said Kevin. Brian was standing up now. His fists were clecnhed.
"Oy, stop it you two," said a man with long yellow hair sitting across. "I don't know what's going on with both of you, but you can't be fighting on the bus."
"That's why I'm waiting until we get off," said Brian. Kevin felt scared...but when he looked at the man with the hair he thought of something. And he smiled.
"SPAGHETTI HAIR!" he shouted. Brian and the man looked puzzled. "You remember! He's got spaghetti hair!"
Brian looked blank for a long moment. He was actually thinking about it. And then, incredibly...he smiled.
"Fuck," he said at last. "Spaghetti hair. That was a thing."
He said down nexto to Kevin. Soon they started talking again.
Kevin vowed to himself that he'd do the frienship right this time. He owed Brian. He owed himself.
_____________________
PRIVATE BRAINSghfh