thing of the day (thing+458)

[CaptainWacky]

my body hurts




ff













shoulders neck

type thorugh the pain barrier

why

take pain killers

dull the pain

but what is pain

it's there becasue there's something wrong withb your body

so even if yu make the pain go away the thing that's wrong is still there underneath, right?

I'm tyring to work this into a metaphor for my brain

it's not really going well
umm

the problems in my brain will always be there

I'll always be building on a shoddy foundation

of my fucked up brain

no matter what

it's not normal

it's grewy

my sense of self is really fading?

i just keep popping in and out

popping

like now

everythign seems dark

and not just because it's late at night

i'm just...

a sense of awareness

lots of senses rubbing together to create a sense of awareness

but it's barley there

and it's all i am


i think it's more because it's all I am so I have ot imageine it's more

it' snot!

i'm small

no bigger than a cat really


miaow


yeah

do normal people have bigger brains

bigger sneses of awrenes
s

beasue i'm not normall

i see men walking by

like not even men

like fifteen years younger than me

and they're proper men

with hairy chests and stuff

and beards

and muscles

and jaws

what am I

I don't think people can tell what age I am from looking at me

because i don't look like anything

just a blob

well i'm not even fat

not like a proper fat men

proper fat men are fat in a manly way

i'm not naything

not skinner either

skinyy men are still more manly than me

they're still mebn

if they're a man they're more manly than me

wha tam I

WHAT AM I

my fingers are long and thin

wha tma

I

my brain is small can't thik
hole in my chest

weird feet

it can only get worse as I get older

you don't see old people like me

you see reall men who have gotten old

their bodies have finally turned again them

but you can tell in their eyes

they were men once

you wouldn't see that in me if I got old

so I'll never get old

I'll die very soon

it's obvious

now my wrists hurt from typing this

my fucking weak bones will just snap in two one day

i know when i sit up my neck will hurt again

but
hey

i did it



i typed fthroug the brain barrier

pain barrier

i feel slightly more self aware now

lol

i'st just becuas ei inserted more into my head

NEED INPUT

JOHNNY NOSE IS LAIVE

no

yeah

just that

it's not reall

it's an illusion

even now

I'm just listening to thoughts

i'm not the thoughts themself

i'm a stupid sense of awareness tricking itself into think its aware

i'm not aware

I'm just rubbing

jus tht rubbings of atoms

an accident of evolution

it's nothing

this is all the universe is

it's big and empty but sometimes parts rub together and "think" but not really

they just observe

am I even observing or observing the observation

haha


ah yeah

sarms hurt bad hsoulder hurts bad neck hurts bad

haha

just wnt to sleepppppppp

that' when the rubbing stops

I guess

but your'e still alive if your asleep

so that proves the rubbing isn't reall?

there' sno realja

haha


shoudl stretch my brain out with my fucking fingers

reach into my skull

and stretch

make it bigger

think more

mor erubbings

become real

control the thoughts

control the observation

control reality

should do it

should do it now

just have to cut my skull open first

then fun times ahead!

 

[Cassie]

I HOPE YOUR NECK FEELS BETTER WACKY

 

[CaptainWacky]

It does a bit, but only if I don't sit down for too long.