CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
to express my inner turmoil
thers' really quite a lot of it all the time
my fingers feel wird
weird
hgh
no
i'ts not words
there's just
it's just...
repating things in my head to the point where they aren't things anymore
the things become something new and I repeat and repeat the new things
and then they're not even the new things anymore
then I see the original thing and don't recognise it
and you kfdka
gggggggggggggggggggggg
and you know when you get so anxious that not only do you not want to do anything...
and not only do you not want to even think about doing anything...
and not only do you not want to even risk thinking about anything in case you accidentally think about doing anything....
and you just want to be dead I guess
I have that all the time right now?
and it's annoying!
______________________
hg
yeah
this is a statement
of my brain
time keeps moving
and i observe other people changing
nad my brain seems to stay the same
but i don't konw
is anyone even aware of the passage of time?
i mean really can't you can't feel it
you can observe its effects/affects (both seem to apply)
but you can't feel it
sitting here
time is passing
but do i know that
o fcourse it doens't help that I've written 463 of these things
everyone the same
everyone could have been the first one
ther'es no different
NO DIFFENRE It'S ALL THE SAME ALL THE FUCKING SMAE EVERY FUCKING SNETENCE EVEYR FUCKING MEOMTN IT'S ALL THE SAME
ARGHag
POP INTO EXISTENCE IT'S ALL THE SAME
HT EONLY CHANGE IS DEATH LOL
THE ONLY CHANGE IS DEATH
____________________________
imagine if you were obsessed with female celebrities
and you had to determine who the "best" female celebrity is
well it's not simple
you can't just go with how you feel
sometimes there's no new pics of someone for ages
sometimes you have no sexuality
sometimes there's new pics but you don't like them because of the hair or something
somietimes you're having obsessive feelings about one person but then there's really good new pics of another person and you feel like you should now be obsessed with that second person
but you can't control it can you
feelings don't come often so we should hold them when they do
o fcourse my brain then twists the feelings
I focus on one area
and obsess over it and make it wrong
and then I see the female celebrity and think "hey that one area is QUITE RIGHT"
and I'm left with nothing
like always
so
the lesson here is
umm
don't get obsessed with female celebrityes I gues
s
________________________
IN WEST PHILEDEPLHIA BORN AND RAPED
ON A PLAYGROUND WAS WHERE I WAS RAPED MOST OF MY DAYS
CHILLIN' OUT MAXIN' RELAXIN' AND COOLIN' AND WHAT DOES MAXIN' MEAN ANYWAY
WHEN A COUPLE OF RAPISTS THEY WERE UP TO NO GOOD
STARTED RAPING PEOPLE IN MY NEIGHBOURHOOD
I GOT IN ONE LITTLE GANG RAPE AND MY MOM GOT SCARED SHE SAID
"IT'S IN APPORPRIATE TO JOKE ABOUT RAPE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES"
_________________________________________
well that's that then!
thers' really quite a lot of it all the time
my fingers feel wird
weird
hgh
no
i'ts not words
there's just
it's just...
repating things in my head to the point where they aren't things anymore
the things become something new and I repeat and repeat the new things
and then they're not even the new things anymore
then I see the original thing and don't recognise it
and you kfdka
gggggggggggggggggggggg
and you know when you get so anxious that not only do you not want to do anything...
and not only do you not want to even think about doing anything...
and not only do you not want to even risk thinking about anything in case you accidentally think about doing anything....
and you just want to be dead I guess
I have that all the time right now?
and it's annoying!
______________________
hg
yeah
this is a statement
of my brain
time keeps moving
and i observe other people changing
nad my brain seems to stay the same
but i don't konw
is anyone even aware of the passage of time?
i mean really can't you can't feel it
you can observe its effects/affects (both seem to apply)
but you can't feel it
sitting here
time is passing
but do i know that
o fcourse it doens't help that I've written 463 of these things
everyone the same
everyone could have been the first one
ther'es no different
NO DIFFENRE It'S ALL THE SAME ALL THE FUCKING SMAE EVERY FUCKING SNETENCE EVEYR FUCKING MEOMTN IT'S ALL THE SAME
ARGHag
POP INTO EXISTENCE IT'S ALL THE SAME
HT EONLY CHANGE IS DEATH LOL
THE ONLY CHANGE IS DEATH
____________________________
imagine if you were obsessed with female celebrities
and you had to determine who the "best" female celebrity is
well it's not simple
you can't just go with how you feel
sometimes there's no new pics of someone for ages
sometimes you have no sexuality
sometimes there's new pics but you don't like them because of the hair or something
somietimes you're having obsessive feelings about one person but then there's really good new pics of another person and you feel like you should now be obsessed with that second person
but you can't control it can you
feelings don't come often so we should hold them when they do
o fcourse my brain then twists the feelings
I focus on one area
and obsess over it and make it wrong
and then I see the female celebrity and think "hey that one area is QUITE RIGHT"
and I'm left with nothing
like always
so
the lesson here is
umm
don't get obsessed with female celebrityes I gues
s
________________________
IN WEST PHILEDEPLHIA BORN AND RAPED
ON A PLAYGROUND WAS WHERE I WAS RAPED MOST OF MY DAYS
CHILLIN' OUT MAXIN' RELAXIN' AND COOLIN' AND WHAT DOES MAXIN' MEAN ANYWAY
WHEN A COUPLE OF RAPISTS THEY WERE UP TO NO GOOD
STARTED RAPING PEOPLE IN MY NEIGHBOURHOOD
I GOT IN ONE LITTLE GANG RAPE AND MY MOM GOT SCARED SHE SAID
"IT'S IN APPORPRIATE TO JOKE ABOUT RAPE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES"
_________________________________________
well that's that then!
