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thing of the day (thing+465)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

so my brain used to be a normal brain
(not really but let's pretend it did)
then the centre of it was hollowed out by life
(or I chose to hollow it out myself so I wouldn't have to suffer?)
it was gone there was a hole in my brain
and eventually I noticed
(there was still enough around the edges to notice)
but what's the point of being aware
I tried and tried to make it grow back
but trying just made the whole bigger!
so I had to fill the whole
(but with what!)
I filled it with sludge
with cheese
with hamburger meat
with empty repetitive thoughts
with obsessions
with hate
with nothing
I feel it with whatever
but not with functioning brain parts
(you can't grow those!)
I thought it was enough
I tried to use my brain like a brain again
I couldn't
I failed
I gave up
and then I started hollowing it again
it just happened
all that mess in there started rotting away
sometimes I'd feel it
the hamburger meat rotting
the repetitve thoughts stirring up again
(was I even thinking them? existential crisis!)
the hate
the obsessions
but all those already twisted things were now even more twisted
distorted
driving me mad
hollow it out again!
hollow hollow it all away
but then
you have to think again
so I have more space to fill
so I go back to filling it with more
with slude
with cheese
with hamburger meat
with empty repetitive thoughts
with obsessions
with hate
with nothing
with sleep
(a lot of sleep)
but there was already some of that stuff in there
so the new stuff got all jumpled with the old
and I was driven even madder
and I wanted to make it all go away
I could feel my brain turn to sand and dust
I could hear it shaking in my skull
it was the only way
disolve the brain
kill it all
I did'nt
I guess
I'm still here
right?
this is me?
the same me?
I have some of those memories
so I guess so
the memories I haven't deleted
you can delete memories
willfully
the only people who can mad are those who let themself go mad
(boy that's highly offensive)
no
I didn't choose this
what is my brain made of now
I think it's not solid anymore
I think it's turned to clouds
the cloud
i'ts braeking up
it's lslfd

flkag

bbbbbbbbbbbg
breaking brain

ffffff
gggggggggggg
jurp

gklgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

iiiiiii don't know
fhf
see it's not feeligns anymore

there are none
there are not feeligns anymre

i don't have feeling anymore?
yes
that's it

I do not have the capacity to have feelings anymore
because you can only replace your brain so many times
you can only get away with it for so long
like with a car or something
you keep replacing the parts
eventually it's a new car
or it doens't run anymore
yeah
you can only keep copying nad copying the feelings over to new formats for so long
they're not the same as feelign sshould be

they're a simulation
a memory of feeling

fff
tgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtgtg

a fading memory at that
every time

you're only real for so long

you should remember that

fffffffffffffffff
don't waste your life and brain
don't let it hollow

keep thinking

good thigns

gkeep

fffffthjttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

yeah there was no point to this
 
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