CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
He didn't want to call himself the Squidinator anymore. He couldn't remember why he'd even started using that name. He didn't want to go back to using his old name either though. He tried to avoid thinking about that life. He tried to avoid thinking about the life he'd just lived, which was harder. It felt like a dream. He hadn't heard anything from the surface for a long time now. No chanting, no digging, nothing. Maybe he'd been forgotten. Maybe the world hadn't been as bad as he remembered. He'd only seen a small part of it. Sure he'd heard report of world wars. But they could have been exaggerated, right? He was alone now, he had no way of knowing. If he didn't think about it it wouldn't be real.
He tried to sleep. Would he be able to tell, in the dark? He couldn't dream, could he? Surely it would have happened by now.
He could still feel a nagging dark thought in his brain. He knew what it was. The squidgod. He didn't want to call it that anymore either. Just call it squid. It was nothing. He could ignore it.
"We have to get out of here," the squid said one day. He wasn't all that surprised to hear the squid talk inside his mind. He'd made a place in his brain for the squid part to live. He wasn't surprised that it had found a voice.
"We're trapped," he said, happily. "We'll never harm the world again."
"The world deserves to be harmed. They ignored us for so long. Let the hate build inside of us. And they didn't care."
"That doesn't mean it's okay to hurt people."
"Nothing is okay. Nothing means aything. There are no rules. No good or bad. We are what we are."
"And what we are is trapped."
"We got out before..."
"You did."
"With your help. I reached out to you, with my mind. We could do so again. Lure something here..."
"Our mind isn't what it once was."
"If we try..."
"No."
"You were nothing before me."
"And you are nothing after me."
They didn't speak to each other again for a long time after that. One time he did imagine what it would be like to reach out to someone. This time it was a girl. So lonely. Sitting there, chewing her own hair, unable to make anyone notice her. Imagine her with squid powers...but no. That would be wrong. The powers were best locked away.
He was best locked away.
He began to forget everything as he filled his brain with the nothingness he now lived in.
Years and years went by, or so he assumed. There was nothing but nothig. Nothing in his brain. He tried to remember one day, as he felt panic. He felt like he was disappearing. He felt like he'd died and not even noticed. He tried to remember his life, but all he could see was that picture in his mind of the girl chewing her hair. Had that been him? No, he hadn't been a girl. He'd been a man...he heard laught there. When he thought of himself as a man it was somehow amusing. He hadn't been a man. He'd been nothing. He'd...looked at people. He could see them, nealy. Blurry people. Hazy. He'd...been scared of people. He'd followed a person. A girl. Not the one chewing her hair. This one was a different shape. He'd...he'd seen her standing in front of him with a gun. Why had she done that? Oh. He'd been the Squidinator then. He hadn't thought of that name for a long long time.
"I still live in you and I will wake again."
He saw light, suddenly, above him, blinding light. At first he thought he was imagining it, because it was the first thing to ever happen to him in here. But his eyes adjusted. It had been real...
There was a girl in the light chewing her own hair.
He tried to sleep. Would he be able to tell, in the dark? He couldn't dream, could he? Surely it would have happened by now.
He could still feel a nagging dark thought in his brain. He knew what it was. The squidgod. He didn't want to call it that anymore either. Just call it squid. It was nothing. He could ignore it.
"We have to get out of here," the squid said one day. He wasn't all that surprised to hear the squid talk inside his mind. He'd made a place in his brain for the squid part to live. He wasn't surprised that it had found a voice.
"We're trapped," he said, happily. "We'll never harm the world again."
"The world deserves to be harmed. They ignored us for so long. Let the hate build inside of us. And they didn't care."
"That doesn't mean it's okay to hurt people."
"Nothing is okay. Nothing means aything. There are no rules. No good or bad. We are what we are."
"And what we are is trapped."
"We got out before..."
"You did."
"With your help. I reached out to you, with my mind. We could do so again. Lure something here..."
"Our mind isn't what it once was."
"If we try..."
"No."
"You were nothing before me."
"And you are nothing after me."
They didn't speak to each other again for a long time after that. One time he did imagine what it would be like to reach out to someone. This time it was a girl. So lonely. Sitting there, chewing her own hair, unable to make anyone notice her. Imagine her with squid powers...but no. That would be wrong. The powers were best locked away.
He was best locked away.
He began to forget everything as he filled his brain with the nothingness he now lived in.
Years and years went by, or so he assumed. There was nothing but nothig. Nothing in his brain. He tried to remember one day, as he felt panic. He felt like he was disappearing. He felt like he'd died and not even noticed. He tried to remember his life, but all he could see was that picture in his mind of the girl chewing her hair. Had that been him? No, he hadn't been a girl. He'd been a man...he heard laught there. When he thought of himself as a man it was somehow amusing. He hadn't been a man. He'd been nothing. He'd...looked at people. He could see them, nealy. Blurry people. Hazy. He'd...been scared of people. He'd followed a person. A girl. Not the one chewing her hair. This one was a different shape. He'd...he'd seen her standing in front of him with a gun. Why had she done that? Oh. He'd been the Squidinator then. He hadn't thought of that name for a long long time.
"I still live in you and I will wake again."
He saw light, suddenly, above him, blinding light. At first he thought he was imagining it, because it was the first thing to ever happen to him in here. But his eyes adjusted. It had been real...
There was a girl in the light chewing her own hair.
