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thing of the day (thing+615)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
A CHARLESE HORSE ADVENTURE

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Charles Horse was sitting next to a pretty girl on the bus. Well, he assumed she was pretty. He hadn't looked her in the face. He had stared at her knee for half an hour though. It was a nice knee. Smooth. Knee-like. A girl with a knee like that would have to be pretty.

He felt himself nodding off. He didn't want to fall asleep next to the gir. He hated it when he fell asleep on the bus and his head would fall forwards then he'd jump up. He tried not to fall asleep on buses. But what was the point of staying awake.

He felt himself jump up. It had happened! He'd fallen asleep, despite just thinking about not falling asleep. He hate himself so much, so fucking much. All these years, so many years, nothing ever happening, just sitting, being dragged and pushed and pulled along by life...

"I think I eat too much meat," he said out loud. "Because I keep getting the shits. I'll have to run to the toilet because I feel it coming out. I hate that. I hate my stupid body. I remember when I was young I could go days without shitting or peeing if I wanted to. Well, maybe not really, but that's how I remember it. Now? I can't ever do anything because all I think about is how I'll need to shit or pee soon. It's a fucking joke."

He stopped talking. He felt a crazy smiled start to cross his face. The girl's knee hadn't moved. He turned his head to look at her face at last. To see what she thought about what he'd just said.

She had earbuds in and hadn't heard a word of it.

She was really pretty though. At least there was that.

She got up and left the bus a few minutes later. He looked around. Nobody else seemed to have heard what he'd said either. He wondered if he'd really said it. He wondered if he really exised.

He got up for his stop. It was dark. It was alway darks when he got home. He thought about disapppearing into the darkness.

He didn't. He went home. He started walking faster about half way there.

He really needed a shit.

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