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thing of the day (thing+628)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
The Super Mario World music wouldn't stop playing in his head. Dum dum da-dum da-dum...

He ran and ran through the level jumping on Goombas and crashed through a wall and he was in a cave level now. Must have been a secret! Wait, Super Mario World was a game, how could he be in it...

He woke up in bed with C3PO. Wait, that wasn't right either. He ran out to go to the bathroom and walked into his therapist's officer. He was sitting down talking to his therapist, a woman in glasses.

"You were telling me about your rape fantasies," she said, dispassionately.

"No, I was telling you I heard about a rape on tv and the first thing I thought was 'it would be too much effort to rape someone, too many things could go wrong' rather than 'that was horrible what happened to that girl.' Does that make me a bad person?" Was he saying this to shock his therapist?

"Yes," she said. "Cunt."

Wait he didn't have a therapist...

He grabbed her and shook her. But then he backed away. Shouldn't hit girls. But she'd turned into wood anyway. She was a wooden woman, and now she was standing up and coming to get him. He ran out and down the street. There were more wooden people and he dodged around them. He was in a car and he ran over wooden people with glee. It didn't really count as murder if they were wooden.

He crashed the car into a horse and got out. The horse was bleeding all over him. He didn't like it much, and soon he was swimming through the blood. He had to get to the other side. He saw an octopus under the blood. He was now swimming on land. How did that happen? This wasn't real...

Eventually he was back at home watching tv. The Bible Show was on again. It was always on. Jesus was lecturing him about eating meat on a Friday. "It will give you cancer!" he said. It was a genuine fear.

He rolled over on his side and felt like he was choking. He was lying face first on his pillow again. He was eating it. He was dreaming. He woke up with a start. But where was his ceiling? There was just wood up there. WOODEN PEOPLE!?

He rolled out of bed and he was in space. Floating through space. He floated for many lightyears, through planets and past stars. It was so beautiful. He wondered if he could dream forever. Would that be like being immortal? Living in this dream forever?

No he was back in bed again. He knew it. He could feel it. Maybe if he kept his eyes shut he could go back into the dream. He could still see the stars. He was still in space, kind of...

No. Bed. He was alive, awake. Another day. Every day he woke up was a day closer to death.

One day he'd stay in the dream.
 
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