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thing of the day (thing+673)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Taylor dragged the unconscious Madonna and the injured Rihanna into the spaceship and frantically pressed the button which she assumed would retract the ramp. Luckily it did.

"I don't know how to fly this thing!" said Taylor. "RiRi, you've got to help me."

"Those green bastards got me good, Taylor," said Rihanna, clutching her stomach. "I'm fading fast."

"Hang on!" said Taylor, desperate. "There must be a medical unit on this thing or something..."

"You need to take off, Taylor, they're pounding us," said Rihanna. They could hear the alien weaponary hit their ship from the outside.

"How?" asked Taylor.

"Just jack your brain in...these ships are piloted by the power of the...of the mind..." And Rihanna lost consciousness. Or died. Taylor didn't know. She didn't have time to find out. She found a helmet with wires attached. She didn't even know if it was the right thing. She put it on...

And suddenly Taylor could see all of space in her mind. At first she felt smaller than she ever had before...and yet...she felt part of something. The initial despair disappeared and suddenly she felt like she understood. The universe. She was part of it. They were all made of the same stuff. They had all come from the same place.

"Space will save us," said Taylor, not knowing what it meant.

The ship was flying and heading back to Earth at warp speed without Taylor even knowing. She finally felt she could go and check on Rihanna, but as she turned around, Madonna was standing there.

"You...you took me against my will," said Madonna.

"Rihanna had no choice, you were going space mad," said Taylor. "We had to get you home. Once you get back to Earth you'll understand...now I need to check Rihanna's alive..."

"I'll die," said Maonna. "My DNA has gone back to human...I'll die...like a human."

"Not for a long time!" said Taylor.

"I'm thirty years older than you," said Madonna.

"Yeah..." said Taylor. "But you're healthy and those aliens were sketchy as fuck...I really need to check on Rihanna...Oh."

Rihanna was nailed to the wall with a sword through her gut.

"I killed her," said Madonna, smiling. "And you're next."

"Oh shut up, ho" said Rihanna. Madonna gasped in surprise. Taylor used the distraction to punch Madonna in the face. She crumpled to the flooor. Taylor took the sword and added a kick to the ribs.

"Get your head together," she sneered at Madonna, who was sobbing now. "Rihanna, how the fuck are you not dead?"

"There's something I need to tell you," said Rihanna. "I'm...not exactly human." It was the that Taylor noticed the robot parts in Rihanna's gaping wound.
 
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