CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Katy, I know we've had our differences, but you've got to help me," said Taylor. "This robot's going to destroy the world!"
"Duh, I know all that," said Katy Perry. "I'm here to watch it burn! Hahahaha!"
"Oh great, he already brainwashed you," said Taylor.
"Nah, he just told me you were opposing him so I picked his side," said Katy. "I hate you, Taylor. I hate you so fucking much."
"Because now you're got BAD BLOOD!" sang Shakira. Everybody looked at her. "What? I was just trying to lighten the modd! Everything's so tense!"
"I'm sorry if THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD has me feeling a little tense," said Taylor.
"Let's do it, my love," said Madonna. "Enough of these games! Make them burn. Make me a star again."
But suddenly an object was thrown right in the middle of the robot's group. "GRENADE!" shouted Beyonce. The robot threw its body on the grenade to cushion the explosion, just as another grenade came flying. Taylor turned to see where the grenades had come from and was shocked to see Rihanna throwing them.
"Run!" said Rihanna. Taylor didn't have to be told twice. She ran as Rihanna lobbed another grenade over her head. Rihanna ran with her back to the spaceship. Rihanna threw a final grenade into the smoke caused by the previous explosions.
"I hope you killed Katy at least," admitted Taylor. "But how the fuck are you alive?"
"Get the helmet on, my robot mind won't let me fly the ship," said Rihanna. Taylor put the control helmet on and the ship took off. "As for how I'm alive, ho, well, let's just say I have a spare head and that's what you were carrying. I carefully swapped it with my real head knowing that we were in some shit."
"But where were you keeping this spare head?" asked Taylor.
"In my central compartment!" said Rihanna, opening a door in her gut to show Taylor storage space, like Bender from Futurama.
"Like Bender from Futurama!" said Taylor.
"Never seen it, hun," said Rihanna. "Too busy saving the world." Suddenly there was a sound.
"The ship isn't moving!" said Taylor.
"Tractor beam!" said Rihanna. Suddenly the alien from the zoo appeared on the viewscreen.
"What, you didn't think I'd come to get you?" asked the alien. "I just need Madonna too and then it's back to the zoo..."
Suddenly on the viewscreen the robot came flying right through the wall of the alien's ship and ripped the alien's head off in one fluid movement.
"No," said the robot. "Taylor belongs to me."
"This is insane!" said Taylor. "Just because I'm a brilliant songwriter and one of the most beautiful women alive everyone wants me! Why don't you want Rihanna too, robot? You're collecting popstars, why not her?"
"She disgusts me," said the robot. "She is a machine abomination."
"You're one to talk, you metal prick!" said Rihanna.
"I know how the world ends," said the robot. "It ends because of Rihanna's unholy robot brood. I am here to save you from that fate...by burning away all that isn't needed and Rihanna herself."
"You're...you're from the future, aren't you?" asked Taylor, suddenly undesrtanding.
"Yes," said the robot. "Come with me if you want to live."
"Duh, I know all that," said Katy Perry. "I'm here to watch it burn! Hahahaha!"
"Oh great, he already brainwashed you," said Taylor.
"Nah, he just told me you were opposing him so I picked his side," said Katy. "I hate you, Taylor. I hate you so fucking much."
"Because now you're got BAD BLOOD!" sang Shakira. Everybody looked at her. "What? I was just trying to lighten the modd! Everything's so tense!"
"I'm sorry if THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD has me feeling a little tense," said Taylor.
"Let's do it, my love," said Madonna. "Enough of these games! Make them burn. Make me a star again."
But suddenly an object was thrown right in the middle of the robot's group. "GRENADE!" shouted Beyonce. The robot threw its body on the grenade to cushion the explosion, just as another grenade came flying. Taylor turned to see where the grenades had come from and was shocked to see Rihanna throwing them.
"Run!" said Rihanna. Taylor didn't have to be told twice. She ran as Rihanna lobbed another grenade over her head. Rihanna ran with her back to the spaceship. Rihanna threw a final grenade into the smoke caused by the previous explosions.
"I hope you killed Katy at least," admitted Taylor. "But how the fuck are you alive?"
"Get the helmet on, my robot mind won't let me fly the ship," said Rihanna. Taylor put the control helmet on and the ship took off. "As for how I'm alive, ho, well, let's just say I have a spare head and that's what you were carrying. I carefully swapped it with my real head knowing that we were in some shit."
"But where were you keeping this spare head?" asked Taylor.
"In my central compartment!" said Rihanna, opening a door in her gut to show Taylor storage space, like Bender from Futurama.
"Like Bender from Futurama!" said Taylor.
"Never seen it, hun," said Rihanna. "Too busy saving the world." Suddenly there was a sound.
"The ship isn't moving!" said Taylor.
"Tractor beam!" said Rihanna. Suddenly the alien from the zoo appeared on the viewscreen.
"What, you didn't think I'd come to get you?" asked the alien. "I just need Madonna too and then it's back to the zoo..."
Suddenly on the viewscreen the robot came flying right through the wall of the alien's ship and ripped the alien's head off in one fluid movement.
"No," said the robot. "Taylor belongs to me."
"This is insane!" said Taylor. "Just because I'm a brilliant songwriter and one of the most beautiful women alive everyone wants me! Why don't you want Rihanna too, robot? You're collecting popstars, why not her?"
"She disgusts me," said the robot. "She is a machine abomination."
"You're one to talk, you metal prick!" said Rihanna.
"I know how the world ends," said the robot. "It ends because of Rihanna's unholy robot brood. I am here to save you from that fate...by burning away all that isn't needed and Rihanna herself."
"You're...you're from the future, aren't you?" asked Taylor, suddenly undesrtanding.
"Yes," said the robot. "Come with me if you want to live."