CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Look at that!" said Taylor. "A base on the moon! I wonder who lives there? Let's cheek it out!" The robot had given up the chase, seemingly, but Taylor was flying around the moon now looking for anything. She had never felt more alive.
"This is where I get off," said Rihanna.
"What, here? Is this moonbase yours?" asked Taylor.
"No, I mean...I can't do this anymore, ho," said Rihanna. "After what the robot said...I'm partly responsible for ending the world."
"He might be lying!" said Taylor.
"He's not, bitch...I'm a robot too, remember? I can tell when my own kind are lying." Rihanna looked sad.
"You can't just stop fighting, he's going to burn the world!" said Taylor.
"Not if he doesn't have you," said Rihanna. "Just stay away from him...the world will be safe if you do..."
"But you're Rihanna...you killed the Smog Man of Nepal. You never give up!" Taylor felt herself starting to cry.
"Goodbye, slut," said Rihanna, not really listening. "Maybe I'll see you again one day..." And without warning she jumped into the spaceship's escape pod and ejected it.
Taylor felt dejected. She'd been ready to fight back, but without Rihanna? Taylor was just a human girl. She didn't have any super powers. She looked at the moonbase now with skeptical eyes. What if someone hostile was inside? She wouldn't be able to deal with them without Rihanna.
"NO," she said to herself. "I'm Taylor Fucking Swift! I can do anything!" She landed the spaceship next to the moonbase and got out. Luckily it turned out Taylor could beath on the moon. She knocked on the moon base door. After a long wait, it opened.
"Blimey!" said Russell Brand, standing in the doorway. "If it isn't Miss Taylor Swift! Salutations, m'lady! My ballbags are happy to see you and no mistake!"
"You!?" said Taylor. She'd met Brand before, at the MTV Awards. He'd tried to make a move on her. She'd made out with Hailee Steinfeld to get rid of him. But they'd ended up enjoying it and...that was a story for another time. "What are you doing on the moon?"
"Tossing meself off, mainly," he said. "'aven't 'ad a lady person up 'ere in months! But if you mean why am I on the moon...I was exiled 'ere. After David Cameron was re-elected. That's why my career ended. Didn't you wonder?"
"No, I thought it was because you kept making awful movies," she said.
"Well, that was a factor as well," admitted Brand. "So, would you like to come in for some moon tea and sex?"
"The first one," said Taylor, entering the moonbase. Brand had many televisions set up, each showing a different moment from his career. He smiled as he looked at an episode of Big Brother's Big Mouth.
"Where did it all go wrong," he sighed. He pointed at the girl he was talking to on screen. "I had her. Imogen, her name was. Had all the sex with her. Then she sold a story on me! Made out I was some kind of weirdo! The swine!"
"Look, a robot is going to burn the world, okay, so maybe we can talk about that?" asked Taylor.
"Is Katy involved?" asked Russell.
"Yes!" said Taylor. "How did you know?"
"Because I'm monitoring her with a drone," said Russell, pointing to a monitor. "I was wondering why she was standing on a moutain with Madonna and a robot."
"Wait," said Taylor, looking at the monitor. "No, Madonna, no!"
Black oil was rising from the mountain...and entering Madonna's body.
"Exciting, if anything!" said Russell.
"This is where I get off," said Rihanna.
"What, here? Is this moonbase yours?" asked Taylor.
"No, I mean...I can't do this anymore, ho," said Rihanna. "After what the robot said...I'm partly responsible for ending the world."
"He might be lying!" said Taylor.
"He's not, bitch...I'm a robot too, remember? I can tell when my own kind are lying." Rihanna looked sad.
"You can't just stop fighting, he's going to burn the world!" said Taylor.
"Not if he doesn't have you," said Rihanna. "Just stay away from him...the world will be safe if you do..."
"But you're Rihanna...you killed the Smog Man of Nepal. You never give up!" Taylor felt herself starting to cry.
"Goodbye, slut," said Rihanna, not really listening. "Maybe I'll see you again one day..." And without warning she jumped into the spaceship's escape pod and ejected it.
Taylor felt dejected. She'd been ready to fight back, but without Rihanna? Taylor was just a human girl. She didn't have any super powers. She looked at the moonbase now with skeptical eyes. What if someone hostile was inside? She wouldn't be able to deal with them without Rihanna.
"NO," she said to herself. "I'm Taylor Fucking Swift! I can do anything!" She landed the spaceship next to the moonbase and got out. Luckily it turned out Taylor could beath on the moon. She knocked on the moon base door. After a long wait, it opened.
"Blimey!" said Russell Brand, standing in the doorway. "If it isn't Miss Taylor Swift! Salutations, m'lady! My ballbags are happy to see you and no mistake!"
"You!?" said Taylor. She'd met Brand before, at the MTV Awards. He'd tried to make a move on her. She'd made out with Hailee Steinfeld to get rid of him. But they'd ended up enjoying it and...that was a story for another time. "What are you doing on the moon?"
"Tossing meself off, mainly," he said. "'aven't 'ad a lady person up 'ere in months! But if you mean why am I on the moon...I was exiled 'ere. After David Cameron was re-elected. That's why my career ended. Didn't you wonder?"
"No, I thought it was because you kept making awful movies," she said.
"Well, that was a factor as well," admitted Brand. "So, would you like to come in for some moon tea and sex?"
"The first one," said Taylor, entering the moonbase. Brand had many televisions set up, each showing a different moment from his career. He smiled as he looked at an episode of Big Brother's Big Mouth.
"Where did it all go wrong," he sighed. He pointed at the girl he was talking to on screen. "I had her. Imogen, her name was. Had all the sex with her. Then she sold a story on me! Made out I was some kind of weirdo! The swine!"
"Look, a robot is going to burn the world, okay, so maybe we can talk about that?" asked Taylor.
"Is Katy involved?" asked Russell.
"Yes!" said Taylor. "How did you know?"
"Because I'm monitoring her with a drone," said Russell, pointing to a monitor. "I was wondering why she was standing on a moutain with Madonna and a robot."
"Wait," said Taylor, looking at the monitor. "No, Madonna, no!"
Black oil was rising from the mountain...and entering Madonna's body.
"Exciting, if anything!" said Russell.