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thing of the day (thing+686)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Taylor Swift, the robot, Russell Brand, Demi Lovato, Kristen Stewart and Stewart's elite lesbian ninja task force were onboard the spaceship. It was a tight squeeze but the lesbians didn't seem to mind, other than requesting that Russell Brand be kept away from them. Russell sat with Taylor watching the ninjas.

"They kill men for fun, I 'eard!" he said.

"They are deadly," admitted Taylor. "Maybe even evil. But they are a necessary evil. We need them to beat Squidonna. And we need...someone else."

She was flying the spaceship as she talked to Russell. Taylor Swift could do anything. They landed in Tokyo.

"We're here to see her, aren't we?" asked Demi. "I thought you said she didnn't want to help us."

"She'll help," said Taylor. "She has to." She got out of the spaceship with the robot and told the others to stay behind. They walked through the abandoned city. Godzilla had eaten most of those who lived there. Yet life remained. Robotic life. An army of Rihanna's sprang from the darkness. Rihanna Prime appeard and told them to stand down.

"What are you doing here?" asked Rihanna. "And with him?"

"Things have changed," said Taylor and she explained all that had happened.

"Tell me something," said Rihanna to the robot. "Was anything you said to me a lie?"

"No," said the robot. "Your Rihannabots will eventually evolve into robots like me and kill all humans."

"Then nothing has changed," said Rihanna. "I can't fight."

"The future isn't written yet," said Taylor. "Remember the end of Back to the Future Part 3?"

"Yeah, good point," said Rihanna. "Marty didn't race like he was supposed to...maybe things can change. Maybe all my robots will be destroyed fighting Squidonna. Okay, Taylor. I'll fight beside you. Onc last time."

They went back to the spaceship with an army of robots. The lesbian ninjas welcomed them. But Kristen Stewart was waiting for Taylor.

"Why aren't you wearing a bikini?" she asked.

"I'm wearing it under my clothes," said Taylor.

"You can't fool me," said Kristen. "You promised."

"Kristen, I don't believe you're doing this just to see me in a bikini. But when this is over...I'll fuck your brains out. How about that?"

"Sure," said Kristen. "And you're right. We have to fight against Squidonna, together. All the races of life in the world. Humans. Robots. Lesbians. Russell Brand. All completely different from each other, but all united against Squiddonna.

"You can try," said Demi, suddenly. "BUT SQUIDONNA IS LORD!"

Demi's eyes had gone ink black.
 
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