CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
The Professor didn't know where he was. He'd been deafened by the explosion. He...had the thought of it being Taylor Swift calling in an airstrike? That was ridiculous. Why would she have done that and why would he be invovled? He started to remember, in images at first. His wife dead. The snow globe. His robot aiming a giant gun. Putting his hand through a man's skull like it was made of paper. Taylor Swift standing in the woods. His wife...the Squid Wife...
He wanted to shut his eyes and disappear. But he pulled himself to his feet. He staggered forward, away from the woods. He looked back and saw something comng for him. Out of the mud. A mud monster. A fuckng mud monster. Why not? It was no crazier than anything else. It was ten feet tall and coming for him fast. There was no escape...
A ninja jumped out of one of the few still standing tries and chopped the mud monster's head off with a sword. It still kept coming, but slower. She pulled some kind of raygun out of her ninja outfit and shot the monster with a beam of energy. It burst into mud.
"Hi," she said, looking at him. She was young and beautiful, the Professor noted. He remembered a time when that would have meant something to him.
"That was a mud monster," he said.
"A servant of the Squid God," she said, with disgust. "After you sacrificed a man in its name it gained control of the soil in this area."
"I didn't sacrifice...I mean...he was a paedophile..."
"He wasn't."
"The Squid God tricked me."
"I'm not here to judge. I'm here to get you to Taylor Swift."
"You're one of her operatives."
"No shit. Now come on, we need to move. The mud monster will reform. We need to get out of the Squid God's area of control and to my invisible jet."
"Your..."
"Come on, no more talking." They ran again. The Professor didn't like running. He was old.
Then ran into the two. There were people outside, staring at the explosion in the distance. They barely noticed the old man and ninja girl running by them. They ended up behind a house, in its garden.
"It's parked here," she explained. "I just need to decloak it..." She pressed something in her phone and a small jet appeared in front of them.
"I'm going to the Queendom," said the Professor.
"You don't deserve it," she said. "Nobody does."
"Are you sure he wasn't a paedophile?" the Professor asked as they got in the jet.
"I don't fucking known," she said.
He wanted to shut his eyes and disappear. But he pulled himself to his feet. He staggered forward, away from the woods. He looked back and saw something comng for him. Out of the mud. A mud monster. A fuckng mud monster. Why not? It was no crazier than anything else. It was ten feet tall and coming for him fast. There was no escape...
A ninja jumped out of one of the few still standing tries and chopped the mud monster's head off with a sword. It still kept coming, but slower. She pulled some kind of raygun out of her ninja outfit and shot the monster with a beam of energy. It burst into mud.
"Hi," she said, looking at him. She was young and beautiful, the Professor noted. He remembered a time when that would have meant something to him.
"That was a mud monster," he said.
"A servant of the Squid God," she said, with disgust. "After you sacrificed a man in its name it gained control of the soil in this area."
"I didn't sacrifice...I mean...he was a paedophile..."
"He wasn't."
"The Squid God tricked me."
"I'm not here to judge. I'm here to get you to Taylor Swift."
"You're one of her operatives."
"No shit. Now come on, we need to move. The mud monster will reform. We need to get out of the Squid God's area of control and to my invisible jet."
"Your..."
"Come on, no more talking." They ran again. The Professor didn't like running. He was old.
Then ran into the two. There were people outside, staring at the explosion in the distance. They barely noticed the old man and ninja girl running by them. They ended up behind a house, in its garden.
"It's parked here," she explained. "I just need to decloak it..." She pressed something in her phone and a small jet appeared in front of them.
"I'm going to the Queendom," said the Professor.
"You don't deserve it," she said. "Nobody does."
"Are you sure he wasn't a paedophile?" the Professor asked as they got in the jet.
"I don't fucking known," she said.