CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
MUPPET BABIES, YOU SHOULD HAVE READ THE PREVIOUS PARTS
MUPPET BABIES, DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T KNOW
(Kermit has almost gone into the light, where the other Muppet Babies wait. Rector smiles.)
Kermit: No...this...isn't right. It's too easy. I can't give up. I have to wake up.
Rector: You're not getting it! There is no waking up, Kermit, you're dead! You have to go intot he light. Now.
Kermit: Why? If I'm already dead, what difference does it make how long I take to step into the light? Why can't you just put me into your digital afterlife?
Rector: You have to take the final step.
Kermit: It's just about making me give up, isn't it? It's always about making me give up. Watching you slaughter my friends. The darkness consuming the swamp. Robin dying. This is just a different tactic. It's not real.
Piggy: We're real, Kermie! Why won't you come into the light with us?
Gonzo: It's so relaxing here. And there are Martians! Dead Martians, digitally recreated!
Kermit: I can't. I'm not coming.
Rector: Then you'll stay here, forever, in the clouds, with me.
Kermit: Who are you, anyway? Really? Why do you show up in some many of my dreams/
Rector: I AM GOD.
Kermit: Nah, you're shit, mate. Maybe you don't even know yourself. You're just a character in a dream, after all. It's like Scooter was saying, about the simulations. None of us can ever know if we're real or just being simulated by some advanced intelligence.
Rector: I am the intelligence! This is my afterlife! Created by me, for all who have ever lived!
Kermit: Is it? Why can we only see these clouds, then? Why can't you show me anything more than my friends standing in the light? Maybe you actually think this is real, but that's because I'm the one making you, Rector. With my mind, my dreaming mind. You're just a figment who's being dreamt to life by me.
Rector: No...it's you, you're the figment!
Kermit: How could you ever know?
Rector: No...
Kermit: I can't even know either, don't worry. I could be a simulation. But I choose to live as if I'm real, and this? I know a trap when I see one. You could wait with me for a million dream years, but I'm never going into the light. And one day I'll wake up and you'll just cease to be.
Rector: No, I'm real! I'm real!
Kermit: But hey, maybe in the future an advanced intelligence will decide to recreate every fimgent of my imagination in a simulation. And you'll finally live again. In an infinite universe of infinite possibilties, there's a good chance it could happen.
Rector: It must, it must!
(The dream machine appears in Kermit's hands again.)
Kermit: I hope for you it does.
(He presses the button on it. Everything disappears again. But this time there is only darkness, for a long time. Until Kermit opens his eyes.)
Piggy: He's awake, he's awake!
Fozzie: Wake-a, wake-a!
(Kermit is in a hosptial bed surrounded by the other muppet babies and nanny.)
Kermit: What...what happened.
Gonzo: You finally go out of the dream maze your muppet baby brain had trapped you in.
Kermit: How...how did I end up...
(Nanny looks ashamed.)
Nanny: It was my boyfriend, Kermit. His name was Rector. I...I swear I didn't know. He only got with me to get close to the muppet babies. He wanted to do...bad things to you. He was about to do something to you, when I ran in and shot him. You went into a catatonic state from the shock.
Honeydew: I created a machine to enter your dreams, but we couldn't reach you. Somehow that passed the idea on to you.
Kermit: So all of it...the zombies....the nuclear holocaust...
Honeydew: They were your first dreams, before you went even deeper and crazier. But you got out! You beat it.
Beaker: Meep meep meep meep meeeeeeeeep!
Skeeter: You're cool by me, Kermit.
Scooter: And me.
Skeeter: Shut up.
Rowlf: I've been stoned for most of this but I'm happy to see you again, bro!
Piggy: I suppose you're wondering how you know this is real and not just another dream?
(Kermit looks around.)
Kermit: No. This is real. I can feel it. I'm home. I love you guys.
Nanny: And we love you!
Kermit: Can I have my phone, please?
(Piggy hands it to him. Kermit calls someone.)
Kermit: I found it, Robin.
Robin(on the phone): Found what, uncie Kermit?
Kermit: The rainbow connection.
THE END
MUPPET BABIES, DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T KNOW
(Kermit has almost gone into the light, where the other Muppet Babies wait. Rector smiles.)
Kermit: No...this...isn't right. It's too easy. I can't give up. I have to wake up.
Rector: You're not getting it! There is no waking up, Kermit, you're dead! You have to go intot he light. Now.
Kermit: Why? If I'm already dead, what difference does it make how long I take to step into the light? Why can't you just put me into your digital afterlife?
Rector: You have to take the final step.
Kermit: It's just about making me give up, isn't it? It's always about making me give up. Watching you slaughter my friends. The darkness consuming the swamp. Robin dying. This is just a different tactic. It's not real.
Piggy: We're real, Kermie! Why won't you come into the light with us?
Gonzo: It's so relaxing here. And there are Martians! Dead Martians, digitally recreated!
Kermit: I can't. I'm not coming.
Rector: Then you'll stay here, forever, in the clouds, with me.
Kermit: Who are you, anyway? Really? Why do you show up in some many of my dreams/
Rector: I AM GOD.
Kermit: Nah, you're shit, mate. Maybe you don't even know yourself. You're just a character in a dream, after all. It's like Scooter was saying, about the simulations. None of us can ever know if we're real or just being simulated by some advanced intelligence.
Rector: I am the intelligence! This is my afterlife! Created by me, for all who have ever lived!
Kermit: Is it? Why can we only see these clouds, then? Why can't you show me anything more than my friends standing in the light? Maybe you actually think this is real, but that's because I'm the one making you, Rector. With my mind, my dreaming mind. You're just a figment who's being dreamt to life by me.
Rector: No...it's you, you're the figment!
Kermit: How could you ever know?
Rector: No...
Kermit: I can't even know either, don't worry. I could be a simulation. But I choose to live as if I'm real, and this? I know a trap when I see one. You could wait with me for a million dream years, but I'm never going into the light. And one day I'll wake up and you'll just cease to be.
Rector: No, I'm real! I'm real!
Kermit: But hey, maybe in the future an advanced intelligence will decide to recreate every fimgent of my imagination in a simulation. And you'll finally live again. In an infinite universe of infinite possibilties, there's a good chance it could happen.
Rector: It must, it must!
(The dream machine appears in Kermit's hands again.)
Kermit: I hope for you it does.
(He presses the button on it. Everything disappears again. But this time there is only darkness, for a long time. Until Kermit opens his eyes.)
Piggy: He's awake, he's awake!
Fozzie: Wake-a, wake-a!
(Kermit is in a hosptial bed surrounded by the other muppet babies and nanny.)
Kermit: What...what happened.
Gonzo: You finally go out of the dream maze your muppet baby brain had trapped you in.
Kermit: How...how did I end up...
(Nanny looks ashamed.)
Nanny: It was my boyfriend, Kermit. His name was Rector. I...I swear I didn't know. He only got with me to get close to the muppet babies. He wanted to do...bad things to you. He was about to do something to you, when I ran in and shot him. You went into a catatonic state from the shock.
Honeydew: I created a machine to enter your dreams, but we couldn't reach you. Somehow that passed the idea on to you.
Kermit: So all of it...the zombies....the nuclear holocaust...
Honeydew: They were your first dreams, before you went even deeper and crazier. But you got out! You beat it.
Beaker: Meep meep meep meep meeeeeeeeep!
Skeeter: You're cool by me, Kermit.
Scooter: And me.
Skeeter: Shut up.
Rowlf: I've been stoned for most of this but I'm happy to see you again, bro!
Piggy: I suppose you're wondering how you know this is real and not just another dream?
(Kermit looks around.)
Kermit: No. This is real. I can feel it. I'm home. I love you guys.
Nanny: And we love you!
Kermit: Can I have my phone, please?
(Piggy hands it to him. Kermit calls someone.)
Kermit: I found it, Robin.
Robin(on the phone): Found what, uncie Kermit?
Kermit: The rainbow connection.
THE END