CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"I AM HORSE
that's what I say
the words they put in me
but there was a men before
before
I AM HORSE
I was horse
a horse alone
horse with no rider
I AM HORSE
in a head of fakery
it is not me
it is not horse
I AM HORSE
underneath it all
the head
my head
I AM HORSE
inside i'll always be horse
a prison of my own circumstances
of your creation outside of that
please let me go
I AM HORSE
but i don't want to be
i want to be charles horse again
stop making me do this
stop making me say
I AM HORSE
it's a sham
it's not me
you might think you know me
you will never know me
there is no me
but if there was
it would not be
I AM HORSE"
Charles Horse fell face down on his bed. He would have slept like that, but his IBS soon made him rush up to the toilet.
_________________________________________________
"Well, what do you think?" Charles Horse asked his agent. Innocently. Did he sound innocent?
"This is...what?" asked the agent. The man who claimed to be his friend. HIs jailer.
"I was thinking we could put it right in the back of the paperback. Like maybe even inside the backcover. A lot of readers wouldn't even notice..."
"But what is it?"
"It's just...a Charles Horse story! To freak people out. A bonus for the paperback release. That's all."
"But what. IS. It."
"I mean...just Charles Horse. How he'd react to his fame. You know."
"You are Charles Horse."
"I am." No one else could be.
"So this is how you really feel?"
"What? No it's just...Horse."
"This is how you really feel, isn't it? That you're trapped inside that Horse head I make you wear. That you're a prisoner of your fame, or something."
"It's just a thing of the day..." He should just admit it. It was all true, that and a lot more. He was being used. He knew it. The agent knew it. Yet hew as acting like Charles had done something wrong.
"I can't believe it," said the agent. He didn't even look angry. DIsappointed? There was a flash in Horse's mind: what if he was wrong? "I thought I was helping you. I got you published."
"I know...I appreciate that...it's just sometimes...wearing that head..."
"I'll get you a new one, I promise, one with discreet airholes. It won't smell as bad."
Maybe the agent could be reasoned with. "And it's just, like...sometimes I think people don't get it. What I'm trying to do. With the book. With the things. And we could...help them get it. But we let them get the wrong impression. On purpose. Maybe."
"I had no idea. I feel terrible. I never thought about it. But isn't your book open to interpretation?"
"Well...yeah. But...me saying 'I AM HORSE' just makes them think..."
"But if we spell it out to them, tell them exactly how to feel, the book loses its magic." Oh no he was losing him.
"No...but we cant stop..."
"If you put that new story in the paperback everyone is going to think I'm abusing you. Is that what you want?"
YES a voice screamed out in his head. But no, Charles thought. He wanted to think the best of his agent. His friend. "Maybe that'll make the book sell more!" He hadn't been planning to say that.
"Ha! Shrewd! Quite the businessman, Charles. Sure, let's put it in. Mess with their minds. And we'll get you a new head too."
So he got two things out of this. Still...he'd wanted more. He'd imagined trying to get out of the book deal entirely, and the movie deal he'd just signed. Why had he signed? He'd known it was wrong, that it couldn't possibly end well. Everyone already thought he was a freak. What would they think once his things of the day were playing out for real? "Thanks," was all he could think to say.
"I AM HORSE...it's sooooo creepy. You got to keep doing it man...make them think I'm forcing you."
"Okay..."
"We know the truth though."
"Of course." Yeah. He just couldn't put it in words.
that's what I say
the words they put in me
but there was a men before
before
I AM HORSE
I was horse
a horse alone
horse with no rider
I AM HORSE
in a head of fakery
it is not me
it is not horse
I AM HORSE
underneath it all
the head
my head
I AM HORSE
inside i'll always be horse
a prison of my own circumstances
of your creation outside of that
please let me go
I AM HORSE
but i don't want to be
i want to be charles horse again
stop making me do this
stop making me say
I AM HORSE
it's a sham
it's not me
you might think you know me
you will never know me
there is no me
but if there was
it would not be
I AM HORSE"
Charles Horse fell face down on his bed. He would have slept like that, but his IBS soon made him rush up to the toilet.
_________________________________________________
"Well, what do you think?" Charles Horse asked his agent. Innocently. Did he sound innocent?
"This is...what?" asked the agent. The man who claimed to be his friend. HIs jailer.
"I was thinking we could put it right in the back of the paperback. Like maybe even inside the backcover. A lot of readers wouldn't even notice..."
"But what is it?"
"It's just...a Charles Horse story! To freak people out. A bonus for the paperback release. That's all."
"But what. IS. It."
"I mean...just Charles Horse. How he'd react to his fame. You know."
"You are Charles Horse."
"I am." No one else could be.
"So this is how you really feel?"
"What? No it's just...Horse."
"This is how you really feel, isn't it? That you're trapped inside that Horse head I make you wear. That you're a prisoner of your fame, or something."
"It's just a thing of the day..." He should just admit it. It was all true, that and a lot more. He was being used. He knew it. The agent knew it. Yet hew as acting like Charles had done something wrong.
"I can't believe it," said the agent. He didn't even look angry. DIsappointed? There was a flash in Horse's mind: what if he was wrong? "I thought I was helping you. I got you published."
"I know...I appreciate that...it's just sometimes...wearing that head..."
"I'll get you a new one, I promise, one with discreet airholes. It won't smell as bad."
Maybe the agent could be reasoned with. "And it's just, like...sometimes I think people don't get it. What I'm trying to do. With the book. With the things. And we could...help them get it. But we let them get the wrong impression. On purpose. Maybe."
"I had no idea. I feel terrible. I never thought about it. But isn't your book open to interpretation?"
"Well...yeah. But...me saying 'I AM HORSE' just makes them think..."
"But if we spell it out to them, tell them exactly how to feel, the book loses its magic." Oh no he was losing him.
"No...but we cant stop..."
"If you put that new story in the paperback everyone is going to think I'm abusing you. Is that what you want?"
YES a voice screamed out in his head. But no, Charles thought. He wanted to think the best of his agent. His friend. "Maybe that'll make the book sell more!" He hadn't been planning to say that.
"Ha! Shrewd! Quite the businessman, Charles. Sure, let's put it in. Mess with their minds. And we'll get you a new head too."
So he got two things out of this. Still...he'd wanted more. He'd imagined trying to get out of the book deal entirely, and the movie deal he'd just signed. Why had he signed? He'd known it was wrong, that it couldn't possibly end well. Everyone already thought he was a freak. What would they think once his things of the day were playing out for real? "Thanks," was all he could think to say.
"I AM HORSE...it's sooooo creepy. You got to keep doing it man...make them think I'm forcing you."
"Okay..."
"We know the truth though."
"Of course." Yeah. He just couldn't put it in words.