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thing of the day (thing+798)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
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hiaehiojhj8egoagitjagwotrjds
hisahroijesrhejiasg jaorijwrjahorahaiyhri'i aihehjoajhrt
eaharoihajihaeuerh iahotijah
ahjaihjahioagaiog;ireare'ayhtaeithaegotaioejr
gmisayhtgiaslwerlg oweor
sdgsahdddddddddddddddddddddddgsagkjalrjaiwimakersda
makes about as much sense as words
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"January. FebUARY. That's how it should be. Three letters, followed by a 'uary.' That's how it always was when I was a child. I remember. It was Febuary. NOT this fake-ass FebRRRRRRRRRRRRuary. That was made up. I don't know when it happened. I don't know how. I can't find any records of it being spelled 'Febuary' even though we all know that's how it was always spelled. WE ALL KNOW IT. It's like someone went back in time and changed it to 'FebRRRRRRRRRRRRRuary.' But! There's evidence. Nothing's ever truly gone. You can't make as forget what we know in our hearts is true. We might THINK it's FebRRRRRRRRRRRRuary but we KNOW instincitvely that it's Febuary. The proof? Listen to anyone say the word. ANYONE. Unless they're a pretentious SHIT they'll say 'Febuary.' Because that's the word. They know it. I know it. Even you know it."
"You're saying it's a Mandella effect thing?"
"No, I'm saying it's actually real. Febuary. That's the month. That's the word. We need to start fucking spelling it right. Enough of this 2022 bullshit."
"What about the other months of the year?"
"Oh, don't get me started on those fuckers! Who named them? Who even fucknig named them? There's no pattern. EXCEPT WHEN THERE IS. So you've got January and Febuary. Two months, each three letters followed by 'uary.' Simple, right? The third month must be Maruary, even thought that sounds dumb. BUT IT'S NOT. It's March. FUCKING MARCH. Not even Marchuary. Not even MarRRRRRRRRRRuary. Fucking March. That's not a fucking proper name. Then it's April. APRIL! What is that? Another boring-ass five letter word. May? MAY? They've just given up now. June. Fuck. July. FUCK. But wait...they both start 'Ju'. Is a pattern about to emerge? NO. Here's comes FUCKING AUGUST to ruin it. But August...at least it's a proper word. There's some power there. Then there's September. What the fuck! That's totaly different from August, and perhaps even better. It's a full on proper fucking month name. September...October...November...December...WHY ESTABLISH A PATTERN ONLY FOR THE LAST FOUR MONTHS? Why have them all end 'ber'? What are the trying to achieve? And why do three of them end 'Mber'? Why is it not Octomber. WHY. They KNEW I'd notice that. THEY KNEW."
"You seem really upset about this."
"Damn right I am. Why have we taken this? All these years. WHY ARE HAVE WE LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT."
"What should we do?"
"New names. PROPER NAMES. EVERY ONE OF THEM has to follow a pattern. They can end in 'uary' or 'mber'. Maybe the winter months are 'mber' and the others are 'uary'. I don't know. There has to be a reason."
"It would be hard to think of 'uary' months as summer months when January and February are in winter..."
"IT'S FEBUARY. NOT FEBRUARY. YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT. YOU'RE AGAINST ME TOO."
"Calm down."
"I'LL KILL YOU. AND YOUR FUCKDAMN HORSE."
"I don't have a horse."
"What was that thing you rode in on?"
"My...car?"
"I'LL KILL YOUR FUCKDAMN CAR."
"Okay, we're done here."
"Please, no. I need to know."
"What?"
"Am I the concious mind? Or am I the thoughts that just appear. Am I the dreamer or the dream? Which one am I? If I copied my brain patters, would I live on in the machine, or would I die in this flesh body and the copy would live on? How do I know? How do any of us know? WHAT AM I?"
"I'm afraid our time is up."
"No. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOO."
"See you in FebRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRuary...cunt."
"ARGH."

But of course he was talking to himself!!!!!!!!
 
Feels Trick Or Treat GIF by Finley
 
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