CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"You know how I'm always saying I'm going to do something with my life?"
"No. Are you?"
"Well, I say it to myself a lot. I must have said it to you at least once."
"Probably."
"Well, anyway, I've decided that I am going to do something with my life. I have a plan. It's already set in motion."
"Cool. What's the plan?"
"I'm gonig to eat Barack Obama."
"Hehe..."
"What?"
"You said a funny, random thing, I laughed. It's standard procedure."
"It was not funny or random. I'm going to do it."
"You're...you look like you're being serious."
"Yeah. So?"
"Why would you look like that?"
"Because I am going to eat Barack Obama."
"No you're not! Stop saying that with such a serious look on your face, it's creeping me out. It's stupid!"
"It's not, you assface! Sorry, sorry about my language...I'm going to eat him up. MMM, BARACK. I already have him in a hotel room. THAT hotel room, over there."
"You're just pointing at a random hotel! You don't have Obama in there!"
"Oh yeah? Well come up to my room then...come on, this way."
"What are you going to do to me when we're there?"
"What? I'd never hurt you, you're my best friend! Man!"
"Yeah, but you're acting crazy..."
"I'm not crazy. Honest, it's perfectly logical...yeah, this is the place, upstairs we go...let me explain. I want to be known. I want to be remembered. And what better way than to EAT Barack Obama? Has it ever happened before? A president being eaten? Okay, he's not president yet, but he's as good as! It seems crazy, but it's only crazy because people remember crazy things! I'm doing something crazy to be remembered, man!"
"You're going to...eat Barack Obama...and he's behind that door."
"Yep. HAHAHA, COME IN!"
"Oh God..."
"And there he is!"
"That's...that's a homeless man. Moaning in pain, tied to the bed...and you've painted him black. There's a bucket of black paint here!"
"That's right, it's Barack! YUMMY YUMMY, FOR MY TUMMY!"
"You need help..."
"I need help eating him! He's a big guy, come on, tuck in, you'll be remebered too!"
"That's sick...I won't...why is he...why is he naked?"
"I don't want to eat his clothes!"
"I won't eat this man."
"You won't? You don't want to be remembered?"
"No...but I do want to do this...oh God, what am I doing...but I want it so much...YES."
"Hey, stop raping him! STOP RAPING BARACK!"
"YES, YES, OH GOD THE PAINT IS STILL WET, IT'S ACTING AS A LUBRICANT!"
"Stop that! I'll kill you! WITH THIS GUN!"
"No, NO...AAAH!"
"BANG! HAHA, I SHOT YOU! NOW I'll PAINT YOU BLACK AND SAY YOU'RE MICHELLE OBAMA! THEN I'LL EAT YOU BOTH, LIVE, ON SATURDAY NIGHT! HERE'S JOHNNY! BANG BANG!"
"No. Are you?"
"Well, I say it to myself a lot. I must have said it to you at least once."
"Probably."
"Well, anyway, I've decided that I am going to do something with my life. I have a plan. It's already set in motion."
"Cool. What's the plan?"
"I'm gonig to eat Barack Obama."
"Hehe..."
"What?"
"You said a funny, random thing, I laughed. It's standard procedure."
"It was not funny or random. I'm going to do it."
"You're...you look like you're being serious."
"Yeah. So?"
"Why would you look like that?"
"Because I am going to eat Barack Obama."
"No you're not! Stop saying that with such a serious look on your face, it's creeping me out. It's stupid!"
"It's not, you assface! Sorry, sorry about my language...I'm going to eat him up. MMM, BARACK. I already have him in a hotel room. THAT hotel room, over there."
"You're just pointing at a random hotel! You don't have Obama in there!"
"Oh yeah? Well come up to my room then...come on, this way."
"What are you going to do to me when we're there?"
"What? I'd never hurt you, you're my best friend! Man!"
"Yeah, but you're acting crazy..."
"I'm not crazy. Honest, it's perfectly logical...yeah, this is the place, upstairs we go...let me explain. I want to be known. I want to be remembered. And what better way than to EAT Barack Obama? Has it ever happened before? A president being eaten? Okay, he's not president yet, but he's as good as! It seems crazy, but it's only crazy because people remember crazy things! I'm doing something crazy to be remembered, man!"
"You're going to...eat Barack Obama...and he's behind that door."
"Yep. HAHAHA, COME IN!"
"Oh God..."
"And there he is!"
"That's...that's a homeless man. Moaning in pain, tied to the bed...and you've painted him black. There's a bucket of black paint here!"
"That's right, it's Barack! YUMMY YUMMY, FOR MY TUMMY!"
"You need help..."
"I need help eating him! He's a big guy, come on, tuck in, you'll be remebered too!"
"That's sick...I won't...why is he...why is he naked?"
"I don't want to eat his clothes!"
"I won't eat this man."
"You won't? You don't want to be remembered?"
"No...but I do want to do this...oh God, what am I doing...but I want it so much...YES."
"Hey, stop raping him! STOP RAPING BARACK!"
"YES, YES, OH GOD THE PAINT IS STILL WET, IT'S ACTING AS A LUBRICANT!"
"Stop that! I'll kill you! WITH THIS GUN!"
"No, NO...AAAH!"
"BANG! HAHA, I SHOT YOU! NOW I'll PAINT YOU BLACK AND SAY YOU'RE MICHELLE OBAMA! THEN I'LL EAT YOU BOTH, LIVE, ON SATURDAY NIGHT! HERE'S JOHNNY! BANG BANG!"
