CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
RAPe
TNATHS' TI
I was readint ght last thingof theday
int he play bit
and I realised Iw ent into a rape joke at th ened
AGAIN
it's like
the easiest punchline ever
"THEN THE CHARACTER GETS RAPED LOL"
and it's not shocking
how can it be fucking shcoking?
everyone jokes a bout rape
so it's not for shock value
so why do I do it?
deep seated psychological issues?
am I a closet rapist?
do I rape closets?
I don't think so
well, Iknow I don't rape closets
and I don't think it's anything more sinister
I think it just gets stuck in my head
like the word "######" used to
because it's taboo I suppose
to some people
not to me
it's just words
abstractions
it's nothing
but it does represent a horrrible act
so really we should only use "rape2 when refering to the horrible act
and not in joke plays
because otherwise we'll need a new word for rape
like how gay used to mean happy
then it meant homosexual
and now it means lame
but still homosexual too
hmm
that's funny how it means two things
something's got to give
beause there's nothign lame about being homosexual
some of my best friends are
well, I don';t have best friends
just freinds
online
anyway
I'm a bit gay
sometimes
what was I saying
yes
something's got to give
I think gay will eventualy just mean lame
and we'll use something else for homosexual
like "homosexual"
but shorter
like homo
no, not that
that's negative
hmm
how about MEEP MEEP FUCK SHIT
no
actually
in the future
we won't need a word for it
because we'll all be so open and free with our sexualityes
that nobody will care
and nobody will ever have to explain
aww
yes
a nice future
anyway
now for a minimalist play that doesn't end in an ironic rape
____________________
(Curtain up. Two men are sitting on a bench.)
Man: Aye.
Man2: Yeah.
(A minute of silence. Man2 takes out a paperback book and starts reading.)
Man: Aye.
Man2: What?
Man: What?
Man2: You just said "aye".
Man: Aye.
Man2: Why?
Man: Just saw you take that book out.
Man2: So?
Man: I was acknowledging it.
Man2: Why?
Man: It's the done thing.
Man2: It's the what? No one talks like that!
Man: I do.
Man2: Fuck off!
Man: Oy!
Man2: I wish he'd hurry up and get here.
Man: Aye.
Man2: Gah!
(Man2 goes back to his book for 30 seconds.)
Man: Aye, car just went past.
Man2: But not his car.
Man: Well, no.
Man2: So why fucking mention it?
Man: I don't know.
Man2: Leave me to read.
Man: What are you reading?
Man2: THE BIBLE.
Man: No you're not, it's a Stephen King book!
Man2: Then why did you ask? IF YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, WHY ASK?
Man: Just making conversation while we wait.
Man2: Why don't you go over to that bench on the other side of the road and and wait there?
Man: Aye?
Man2: Or just shut up.
Man: Aye.
Man2: Die.
(A small child walks onto the stage with a sign reading "FIVE HOURS LATER".)
Man2: He's not coming.
Man: Who, Godot?
Man2: OF COURSE GODOT. That's who we're waiting for!
Man: Aye. Hang on, isn't that a play?
Man2: What?
Man: Waiting for Godot?
Man2: You're...you're right!
Man: Stitched us up like a kipper,he has, telling us his name is Godot!
Man2: But if he doesn't really want to help us, that means...
Man: He wanted us out the way...
Man2: SO HE COULD KILL THE CHILDREN!
Man: Oh God...oh my fucking God...
Man2: We need to...we need to run.
Man: What? But the children!
Man2: Are dead. Fuck them! We're next! We need to hitch a ride and get as far away as possible!
Man: Aye, you do that...I'm going to save the children.
Man2: But...
Man: You're a bloody coward, you know that? You're no man. All you care about is yourself and you're not worth caring about, let me tell you that. I'm going. I don't care if I die. It'll be better than being like you.
(He runs off stage. Man2 sits in silence for a minute, then takes out his book.)
Man2: Finally...some peace...
(He starts crying.)
Man2: Aye.
FIN
___________
!!!!!!!!!!
TNATHS' TI
I was readint ght last thingof theday
int he play bit
and I realised Iw ent into a rape joke at th ened
AGAIN
it's like
the easiest punchline ever
"THEN THE CHARACTER GETS RAPED LOL"
and it's not shocking
how can it be fucking shcoking?
everyone jokes a bout rape
so it's not for shock value
so why do I do it?
deep seated psychological issues?
am I a closet rapist?
do I rape closets?
I don't think so
well, Iknow I don't rape closets
and I don't think it's anything more sinister
I think it just gets stuck in my head
like the word "######" used to
because it's taboo I suppose
to some people
not to me
it's just words
abstractions
it's nothing
but it does represent a horrrible act
so really we should only use "rape2 when refering to the horrible act
and not in joke plays
because otherwise we'll need a new word for rape
like how gay used to mean happy
then it meant homosexual
and now it means lame
but still homosexual too
hmm
that's funny how it means two things
something's got to give
beause there's nothign lame about being homosexual
some of my best friends are
well, I don';t have best friends
just freinds
online
anyway
I'm a bit gay
sometimes
what was I saying
yes
something's got to give
I think gay will eventualy just mean lame
and we'll use something else for homosexual
like "homosexual"
but shorter
like homo
no, not that
that's negative
hmm
how about MEEP MEEP FUCK SHIT
no
actually
in the future
we won't need a word for it
because we'll all be so open and free with our sexualityes
that nobody will care
and nobody will ever have to explain
aww
yes
a nice future
anyway
now for a minimalist play that doesn't end in an ironic rape
____________________
(Curtain up. Two men are sitting on a bench.)
Man: Aye.
Man2: Yeah.
(A minute of silence. Man2 takes out a paperback book and starts reading.)
Man: Aye.
Man2: What?
Man: What?
Man2: You just said "aye".
Man: Aye.
Man2: Why?
Man: Just saw you take that book out.
Man2: So?
Man: I was acknowledging it.
Man2: Why?
Man: It's the done thing.
Man2: It's the what? No one talks like that!
Man: I do.
Man2: Fuck off!
Man: Oy!
Man2: I wish he'd hurry up and get here.
Man: Aye.
Man2: Gah!
(Man2 goes back to his book for 30 seconds.)
Man: Aye, car just went past.
Man2: But not his car.
Man: Well, no.
Man2: So why fucking mention it?
Man: I don't know.
Man2: Leave me to read.
Man: What are you reading?
Man2: THE BIBLE.
Man: No you're not, it's a Stephen King book!
Man2: Then why did you ask? IF YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS, WHY ASK?
Man: Just making conversation while we wait.
Man2: Why don't you go over to that bench on the other side of the road and and wait there?
Man: Aye?
Man2: Or just shut up.
Man: Aye.
Man2: Die.
(A small child walks onto the stage with a sign reading "FIVE HOURS LATER".)
Man2: He's not coming.
Man: Who, Godot?
Man2: OF COURSE GODOT. That's who we're waiting for!
Man: Aye. Hang on, isn't that a play?
Man2: What?
Man: Waiting for Godot?
Man2: You're...you're right!
Man: Stitched us up like a kipper,he has, telling us his name is Godot!
Man2: But if he doesn't really want to help us, that means...
Man: He wanted us out the way...
Man2: SO HE COULD KILL THE CHILDREN!
Man: Oh God...oh my fucking God...
Man2: We need to...we need to run.
Man: What? But the children!
Man2: Are dead. Fuck them! We're next! We need to hitch a ride and get as far away as possible!
Man: Aye, you do that...I'm going to save the children.
Man2: But...
Man: You're a bloody coward, you know that? You're no man. All you care about is yourself and you're not worth caring about, let me tell you that. I'm going. I don't care if I die. It'll be better than being like you.
(He runs off stage. Man2 sits in silence for a minute, then takes out his book.)
Man2: Finally...some peace...
(He starts crying.)
Man2: Aye.
FIN
___________
!!!!!!!!!!
