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THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW WITHOUT THE MOVIES:

Sarek

Vuhlkansu Wihs
During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.
No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make
the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not
be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer
beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his
forthcoming art exhibition.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

The Chief of Police is always black.

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give
him 48 hours to finish the job.

A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK
Stadium.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an
object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red
readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the
communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic
eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no
lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise moment.
 
You forgot:

A recently cocked shotgun, even if not fired afterward, will need to be re-cocked as you come up behind your opponent.

A person can be rendered unconscious by a single open-handed chop on the back of the neck.

Cats like to jump out of open windows to fuck with people they know are going to die soon, just to see the look on their faces before the real monster gets them.

Having unprotected sex in the dark woods or the empty house next door will kill you. Pretty much immediately.

Even monsters and villains who can't talk, run or think always know the shortcut that will put them just ahead of where you were planning to flee.

The entire sum total of universal biological diversity can be summed up in this phrase: two arms, two legs, fucked-up forehead.

People with British accents are nearly always smarter and more evil.

The police commissioner was in on it all along.

The most ingenious and complex criminal mind can be driven to reckless insanity by wiseass catchphrases.

The dork or foreign exchange student WILL get laid before the party is finally over. By the hottest stuck-up cheerleader in attendance.

The dork or foreign exchange student is secretly super good at sex.

Inner city principals care deeply for their students. Suburban principals are dicks.

Despite his inability to make a decent living wage, the janitor will know all the answers to any question.

White people cannot dance, rap or speak urban slang without the help of dedicated black friends.


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You also forgot..

..whenever theres a gun battle, no matter how many people are involved or how may shots fired, the police always manage to come AFTER the shooting is over
 
I didnt read the first two posts, did they cover when you're at a quiet point something scary always shows up suddenly loudly that's just supposedly serendipity?
 
^That actually depends on the lateness of the hour. After midnight he's good for two or three 10 minute infomercials in an hours time.
 
jack said:
I didnt read the first two posts, did they cover when you're at a quiet point something scary always shows up suddenly loudly that's just supposedly serendipity?
That actually covers starguard's post in relation to this thread.
 
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