Thinking of moving to Europe after 10-year relationship ended

[StarMan™]

She blindsided me 10 days ago.

Still living in the same house as her, FFS.

Look anyway, I've always heard the call of my ancestral roots. I qualify for Irish citizenship (my grandmother was born in Ireland). 20 years back I was saving to go to the UK before meeting my first girlfriend. Was gonna live upstairs in a pub I would work at - I dunno. Well, that didn't happen.

Now - 20 years later, my brain is jumping to the idea again.

I have never felt in sync with NZ. I mean, look at where we are - the arsehole end of the world.

I'm sick of planning. maybe I just finally throw myself at the world and see where I land. Meet new people and grow. I don't want to die in a gutter in Glasgow (I know, not Ireland) by myself without a penny to my name, so I don't want to be too reckless.

I want a fresh start and to get away from the familiar. I know my home city so damn well and have lived here basically my whole life. If I did think of moving elsewhere in NZ ... well, why not jump across the ocean if I want to move outside my comfort zone and into the unfamiliar?

Rambling thoughts. Not sure what any of ya'll can do with them.

Life. Fuckin ... ahh.

Also - and I could be wrong - with an Irish passport I get the best of both worlds: can live work anywhere in the UK as an Irish citizen, but can also do the same / similar in the EU.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I also have an Irish grandparent, and for the time being I could still qualify for dual citizenship as well. This year's election is weighing in the back of my mind... but my passport is expired and my affairs need tidying. I need to get on that if I want to be serious about applying...

 

[Mirah]

Living in the same house/space as someone that just broke up w/ you would be fucking difficult. Sorry to hear that Starman.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I've never stepped over a dead body in a Glasgow gutter!

 

[StarMan™]

Living in the same house/space as someone that just broke up w/ you would be fucking difficult. Sorry to hear that Starman.

Thankfully there's plenty of room in the place we rent.

I just spoke with her. She's off house sitting for a few days and we'll talk next week. Managed to break the ice a bit.

It's strange because there's no hostility. it's like I start falling back into old patterns - it still feels familiar.

Day 1 - 3, I would've been relieved if she'd reversed her decision. But now ... well, I have had a chance to reflect. Communication was always a problem and I feel there were issues in the relationship I simply repressed over time and accepted as "my lot". She has always been very guarded and encouraging her to open up / express her feelings has been as trying as wringing blood from a stone. Unfortunately, when she did, it was explosive.

I have often looked at other couples with a degree of envy at how effortlessly they share their lives and communicate. I know I'm capable of that. In this intervening time my imagination has opened up to the possibilities. If we reconciled (I would say that's a no-go at her end anyway), am I just settling for the familiar? I don't think I could do it. But, I still care about her. It's damn funny thing.

I've never stepped over a dead body in a Glasgow gutter!

If I find myself succumbing in such a situation, I shall be sure to affix a 'StarMan' name badge to my top so you will know it's me. Maybe you will see me in my dying moments and go "StarMan! After all these years, we finally meet. I'll make sure T'Bonz does a memorial thread for you." Then I can die assured my name shall live on in the annals of TrekBBS history.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'll promse you that Lisa will return for your memorial and you can die not knowing if that's what you really want or not.