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THIS SHOULD BE THE PLOT OF THE NEXT SUPERMAN MOVIE

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
SUPERMAN IS LOOKING FOR A WOMAN WHO CAN SHAG WITHOUT KILLING HER. EVERYTIME HE HAS SEX WITH A WOMAN IT'S GOING GREAT UNTIL HE EJACULATES AT WHICH POINT HIS SUPER EJACULATE SHOOTS THROUGH THE WOMAN LIKE A BULLET, KILLING HER. SUPERMAN IS DISTRAUGHT. HE FUCKING LOVES SEX. HE'S KILLED SO MANY HUMAN WOMEN. SO, SO MANY. EVERYTIME HE THINKS "MAYBE THIS WILL BE THE ONE WHO DOESN'T DIE WHEN I SUPER FUCK HER." BUT SHE ALSO DIES. HORRIBLY. HE HAS TO COMPLETELY MELT THE BODIES WITH HIS HEAT VISION SO THAT NOBODY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED.

ONE DAY HE'S HANGING AROUND THE DAILY PLANET TRYING TO SHAG LOIS BECAUSE HE THINKS MAYBE SHE CAN TAKE HIS SUPERLOAD, WHEN JIMMY OLSEN COMES OVER AND SAYS HE WANTS A WORD. JIMMY REVEALS THAT HE'S BEEN STALKING SUPERMAN AND HAS SEEN HIM FUCK HUNDREDS OF WOMEN TO DEATH. JIMMY SAYS HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE HE LOVED WANKING OVER THIS, BUT FINALLY HIS CONSCIOUS HAS CAUGHT UP AND HE THINKS SUPERMAN SHOULD STOP FUCKING WOMEN. SUPERMAN LAUGHS IN HIS FACE. "ME, STOP FUCKING? DON'T BE ABSURD. I'M SUPERMAN! I LIVE TO FUCK!" SUPERMAN PUSHES JIMMY OUT THE WINDOW, KILLING HIM.

LOISE SEES THIS AND IS TURNED ON BECAUSE SHE'S ALWAYS SECRETLY WANTED TO MURDER JIMMY. FINALLY SHE FUCKS SUPERMAN. HE SHOOTS HIS SUPER EJACULATE...AND SHE DOESN'T DIE! SUPERMAN IS HAPPY! FINALLY HE'S FOUND THE WOMAN FOR HIM.

BUT LOIS IS ACTUALLY A ROBOT WORKING FOR LEX LUTHOR. SHE BRINGS THE SAMPLE OF THE SUPER EJACULATE TO HIM. LEX DRINKS IT AND TURNS INTO A SUPERMAN HIMSELF. HE FLIES TO THE DAILY PLANE TO FIGHT THE REAL SUPERMAN...BUT INSTEAD IS OVERCOME WITH LUST. SUPERMAN IS TOO. IT TURNS OUT DRINKING THE EJACULATE HAS SOMEHOW TURNED LEX INTO SUPERMAN'S ONE TRUE LOVER.

THE LAST HOUR OF THE MOVIE IS JUST SUPERMAN AND LEX FUCKING EACH OTHER. IN SPACE. THEN DESTROY THE MOON WITH THEIR CUM AT THE END AND THE PIECES OF THE MOON CRASH TO THE EARTH KILLING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. BUT SUPERMAN AND LEX DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

THE END
 
My one edit: SUPERMAN LETS JIMMY THINK HE WILL GIVE INTO HIM, AND OFFERS TO FUCK HIM INSTEAD. JIMMY GIGGLES AND DROPS TROU, AND BENDS OVER, HIS FACE PRESSED AGAINST THE WINDOW. SUPES GIVES HIM AN ASS-POUNDING THAT SENDS HIM THROUGH THE WINDOW, FALLING 40 STORIES TO HIS DEATH WITH A SMILE. SUPES YELLS OUT THE WINDOW, "I WILL FUCK WHO I FUCK WHEN I FUCK THEM, YOU GINGER STAIN ON THE SIDEWALK, HAHAHA!"

(Jimmy was a ginger in the old comics)
 
BTW the plot could be SUPES ORDERS CHINESE FOOD AND WATCHES A GOLDEN GIRLS MARATHON and it would still be better than the last couple of films.
 
Perhaps nuBrandon Routh can pull this off in Superman 6?! Gene Hackman to play SUPES genetic material? Yes! :phpup:
 
SEQUEL

GENERAL ZOD ARRIVES ON EARTH HOPING TO CONQUER IT. BUT HE FINDS EARTH ALL FUCKED UP FROM MOON ROCKS. HALF OF EARTH'S POPULATION HAVE DIED THANKS TO SUPERMAN AND LEX'S FUCKFEST. THE OTHER HALF ARE STARVING TO DEATH. ZOD REALISES THAT CONQUERING THESE PATHETIC WRETCHES WOULD BE NO CONQUEST AT ALL.

INSTEAD HE WORKS TO MAKE EARTH STRONG AGAIN. IT'S A HARD ROAD. IT TAKES A DECADE. MILLIONS MORE DIE IN THE STRUGGLE. BUT ZOD KEEPSS THE PEOPLE OF EARTH MOTIVATED. HE GROWS TO LOVE THEM. EVENTUALLY, EARTH IS REBUILT. MANY PARTS CANNOT BUT LIVED IN, OF COURSE, BUT NEW COUNTRIES ARE BORN, BETTER COUNTRIES, WITH GREAT CITIES REACHIGN HIGH INTO THE SKY. AND EARTH HAS ZOD TO THANK FOR IT ALL. FINALLY, ZOD IS SATISFIED THAT EARTH IS STRONG ENOUGH TO BE WORTHY OF CONQUEST.

"NOW, KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!" HE SAYS. AND THEY DO. HAPPILY. EVERY PERSON ON EARTH KNEELS. FOR HE IS THEIR SAVIOUR. AND ZOD SEES THEIR LOVE AND BEGINS TO CRY...

IT IS AT THAT MOMENT THAT SUPERMAN AND LEX FALL BACK TO EARTH, FUCKING EACH OTHER'S BRAINS OUT, AND CRUSHING ZOD WITH THE ASTEROID THEY WERE FUCKING ON, KILLING HIM. THE PEOPLE OFF EARTH ARE DISTRAUGHT. MANY TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES. BUT OTHERS RITO AND TRY TO KILL LEX NAD SUPERMAN. OF COURSE, THEY FAIL, AND SUPERMAN MELTS MILLIONS WITH HIS HEAT VISIONS AS LEX BLOWS HIM. AND SO THE WORLD FALLS INTO CHAOS AND ANARCHY ONCE MORE.

MEANWHILE, KRYPTO THE SUPERDOG FLOATS TOWARDS EARTH...
 
THE THIRD MOVIE

FIFTY YEARS LATER. AN UNEASY PEACE HAS BROKEN OUT BETWEEN SUPERMAN/LEX AND THE PEOPLE OF EARTH. THE CITY BUILT BY ZOD'S IS SUPERMAN/LEX'S. THEY STAY THERE FUCKING EACH OTHER, DESTROYING BUILDINGS, BUT DON'T LEAVE THE CITY OFTEN. HUMANS ARE RELATIVELY SAFE AS LONG AS THEY STAY OUT OF THE CITY. IT IS NOT AN EASY LIFE, OF COURSE. MANY ARE BORN WITH HIDEOUS DEFORMITIES DUE TO THE RADITION FROM SUPERMAN'S HEAT RAYS. AND SUPERMAN FROZE MOST OF THE EARTH'S OCEANS ONCE JUST SO HE AND LEX COULD FUCK ON ICE.

BUT HUMANITY LIVES ON...UNTIL KRYPTO ARRIVES. FERAL AND UNKILLABLE HE RAVAGES THE EARTH'S COUNTRYSIDE, EATING THOUSANDS. EVENTUALLY THE EARTHLINGS BEGIN SACRIFICING THEIR CHILDREN TO KRYPTO, TREATING HIM AS A NEW GOD. BUT THEN BRAINIAC ARRIVES ON EARTH, DISGUSTED BY WHAT HE FINDS. HE WAS GOING TO SAVE THE HUMANS FROM LEX AND SUPERMAN, BUT INSTEAD DECIDES TO LEAVE THEM TO THEIR FATE. BUT SUPERMAN NOTICES HIM AND ORDERS HIM OFF THE PLANET, AND SO WAR BREAKS OUT AS BRAINIAC DOESN'T LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO FUCKING DO.

BRAINIAC RESORTS TO GRANTING SUPERPOWERS TO HUMANS USING TECHNOLOGY AND FINALLY THEN CAN FIGHT BACK AGAINST SUPERMAN. BUT SUPERMAN IS STILL STRONGER AND KILLS THOUSANDS, THEN ASKS LEX TO JOIN HIM IN ENDING THE WAR ONCE AND FOR ALL. BUT WHAT'S THIS! LEX IS FUCKING KRYPTO! HE'S INTO ANIMALS NOW. AND SO SUPERMAN IS IMPISONED IN THE PHANTOM ZONE AND A NEW WORLD ORDER BEGINS...
 
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