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Thursday, April 01, 2010

Mirah

I love you
I checked the anti bacillus docket for the twentieth time that evening. Status appeared normal. Suspicions were high, monitoring would resume at 0600 hours.
 
Sporadic rain causes for on again off again annoying use of windshield wipers. A little bit of rain, turn the wipers on, rain goes away, turn them off. Sprinkles turn into showers, turn them back on, sun appears I leave them on low. I am sure the drops will return.
I call them cunt wipers.
 
"Congratulaions" I said.
"Thank you" He said.
"Well deserved" I said.
"That means more" He said.

If only you knew how much more, I thought. If only you knew.
 
I closed my eyes
and kept them closed for the duration of the session
I was sure someone was observing
but I didn't mind
 
The blood was the purest blood I had seen in a long time
I cut my leg
it was so red
staining my clothes
I didn't mind
I got a cloth
to stop the bleeding
I was comforted
there was no pain
earlier in the day
it was dirt
dirt on my face
my face
and yours
the dirt was pure as well
when the clouds covered the sky
the rain that fell down
was the purest of all
 
I danced for him
and I danced for her
I stepped my legs into the water
it felt so good
my knees were wet
when she poured the cold water
over my body
I grabbed the sides
I put my foot on his leg
as I raised my hips up
he said, "oh yeah"
and then I screamed
her fingers were in my mouth
his were inside of me
my nipples were being pinched
I came so hard
they pushed me down
I reached up
and grabbed her
pulling her towards me
pushing me down
I reached for her breast
I wanted it in my mouth
she gave in
as she took her fingers
from my mouth
and gave me her nipple
I sucked
until he was done
tasting
the pleasure
between my legs
her hand caressing me
I got on top of him
she sat in front of me
kissing my lips
he was smacking her ass
I was smacking her breasts
she was gasping and pealing in pleasure
a smack
an outburst
another slap
a scream
his thrusting inside of me
my moaning
I could see her dripping
I put my fingers inside of her
tasted her
then continued stroking her cunt
while he slapped her ass
and I rode his cock
she got wetter and wetter
and tighter and tighter
he grabbed the both of us
her shoulders
she reached up and grabbed my breasts
and squeezed them
as I felt her body tremble
and his thrusting inside of me
as they both came into pleasure
and I felt her juices on my hand
and his juices on my leg
 
Sunday April 4, 2010

I hate Easter but I love Easter. It used to be my favorite religious holiday. I have always favored it over Christmas. Usually I can get past the things I need to get past to enjoy it now.

The circle of love is a great symbol for the never ending completeness. Closure. Square. 4 Items. 1 and 2. Flowers.

Quiet comfort in my soul.
 
Thursday April 8, 2010

That is so strange that you said that BG. At about 1:45 or 1:25 Monday morning, someone I met about a year ago passed away.

I woke up Monday morning, put on a shirt that he had commented on once, and I thought about him. Found out later he had passed.
 
Monday April 12, 2010

I should have listened to myself more clearly
I knew the whole time that I should not have gone
though I have no regrets
The original reason morphed over the period of a week
but it should have been clear as day once it progressed
No regrets only lessons?
I can't decide
I need to
and then move on
what else is there to do anyway?
Focus.
Re-establish yourself and become stronger.
What are my goals, and work towards them.
 
Tuesday April 13, 2010

Alot of things have come to light recently.
I realized last night that the god-less people I hung out with this weekend have no idea the goals or aspirations I have. They don't just include me, they include the world. That is how I am. That is how I always have been. I don't think myself any higher than they. I just realize why I feel different and why I don't so much as fit in. Its ok. Its not necesary. This is the way of the world.
 
Monday April 19, 2010

Illness took over the Mirah household last week, leaving everyone incapacitated.

Sunshine cured the cabin fever leaving nothing left done indoors.

Engagements, helping others, selling, all things to keep me busy.

One lazy day with my lover. Two lazy days with my lover. One misunderstanding evening with my lover that I can look back at and laugh.

Looking forward to future meet ups scheduled next week.

Keeping expectations low for all other endeavers, but still hoping for the best.

Be the person I want to be with.
 
Sunday April 25, 2010

I am really annoyed.
There is too much noise at this place. Unneccesary noise. Why must there be noise?
It is already 3:50 and I am running behind schedule.
She is eating my food.
Pisses me off.
Stay out of my food and stay out of my life.
Dryer goes off.
I am ready to go.
Pack my bags and I am leaving.
 
Monday April 26, 2010

My Flexibility

Really I was hoping to have a different schedule today but I realize that I am not in control of the situation and I must bend to meet the needs of others.

I must find a way to get my own needs met today and to be able to what is the word...I don't know.

Fuck fuck fuck

It is what it is.

How can I change this around? I can't.
 
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