Trek XI casting?

[Daystrom]

A while back I heard Matt Damon was going to be playing Kirk and that Philip Seymour Hoffman might be contacting people about playing the doctor. Is there any news on who else might be in the running?

 

[The Question]

Bill Hicks will be the voice of the computer.

 

[Kefka]

I hear Jim Carrey will be Q, and Dustin Hoffman will be Spock.

 

[Daystrom]

Hmm. I just looked up to see what else Bill Hicks has done and it seems he past away years ago, as for Dustin Hoffman, a bit old to play Spock. Anybody have any serious news or casting rumors?

 

[The Question]

^^No no, Day, you misunderstand me. They obviously can't get Hicks to record voice material for them, so what they're going to do is write the dialogue for the computer's responses in such a way that they can use audio clips from his shows. Like so:

Kirk: "Computer... initiate self-destruct."
Computer: "Ya little fuckin' pussy! Why don'tcha put on a little dress and swish around for us!"
Kirk: "Computer, run a diagnostic."
Computer: "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAaaaaa...!!!"
Spock: "Fascinating."
Kirk: "Spock, any idea what's wrong with the computer?"
Computer: "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAL fuckin' high on drugs."
Spock: O_O

 

[Kefka]

Dustin Hoffman as Spock: *holds head, paces around* Oh my, oh my.

 

[The Question]

I was thinking more like, "Illogical! Yah! Defin'l'y! Defin'l'y illogical!"

 

[Dracula]

We need unknowns in all the roles save maybe whoever they get to play Captain Robert April. If they'd tap Tom Hanks for Captain April, and show that Kirk respected him and went aboard the Enterprise for the first time because he was invited by April, we'd be in business.

But no established actors should play Kirk, Spock, or McCoy. Unless Gary Sinise wants a shot at McCoy...

 

[CaptainWacky]

The Rock really needs to be in it.

 

[Gagh]

So does Patrick Swayze as the first on-screen gay Klingon.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

And Vin Diesel as the first gay Klingon bottom.

 

[The Question]

^^I assume you're referring to different portions of the same gay Klingon's anatomy. Vin Diesel would be very believable as a Klingon's ass.

 

[Donovan]

^^I assume you're referring to different portions of the same gay Klingon's anatomy. Vin Diesel would be very believable as a Klingon's ass.

So, would that somehow finally explain the "smooth head vs. turtle head" debate? Is that why Worf wouldn't talk about it?

 

[The Question]

No, they handled that on Enterprise. And as ludicrous an idea as it was, it was actually the least ludicrous explanation they could have put forth.

 

[SaintLucifer]

Kirsten Dunst will play Kirk.

Magic Johnson will play Uhura.

Ozzy Osbourne will play Sulu.

Milla Jovovich will play Chekov.

Jackie Chan will play Spock.

50 Cent will play Doctor McCoy.

 

[The Question]

Kirk = Matt Damon
Spock = David Duchovny
McCoy = Gary Sinise
Scotty = Paul McGilliam
Uhura = Jada Pinkett-Smith
Sulu = Chiaki Kuriyama
Chekov = Edward Furlong

 

[whisky]

Kirk = Mathew Fox
Spock = Ian Somerhalder
McCoy = Josh Holloway
Scotty = Henry Ian Cusick
Sulu = Daniel Dae Kim
Checkov = Naveen Andrews
Uhura = Michelle Rodriguez