Volpone
Zombie Hunter
...seems like a potentially amusing thread. As I've been dealing with the drama of my renter; wondering why he just doesn't get a side job if he isn't getting enough hours on his current one. And also his blow-up about "not being born with a silver spoon"--while working for his stepdad's company--and thinking about some of the places I lived when I was his age. And more specifically some of the jobs I had. Of course it is impossible to tell those stories without sounding like a grumpy old man, but what the heck. In no particular order:
I worked at a dump. At first it was while the dump was running. You'd stand next to a big conveyor with a hook and grab big metal things like brake disks and oil filters out of the garbage so that they wouldn't clog up the grinder/compactor machinery the belt was feeding. We wore an "Outbreak" looking suit that was supposed to make the smell more bearable. Eventually I got promoted to the night shift, where we'd go around and clean up all the garbage that had fallen off the trucks and belts. And we'd lock out the machines and climb in them to chisel garbage off the parts.
Another time I was an overnight janitor at a big theater/museum complex. Part of that job involved emptying out the used tampon receptacles in the stalls of the women's bathrooms.
I did a war in a desert. That sucked. But at least I worked in an ad hoc base, so I had a tent to sleep in and as many MREs as I wanted and no one was shooting at me. And I was an officer, so I didn't have to use diesel fuel to burn human waste at the latrine areas.
Outside of jobs, I had to get a dead raccoon out of my aunt's chimney once. And I've found a human body. The one was more physically unpleasant--getting a mummified raccoon out of a chimney isn't any fun. The other was just mentally unpleasant--"What's that? A chair? A pile of old clothes? No. It's...a mannequin? It looks awful lifelike. Hello, 911? I think I just found a body." None of that was any fun, but once the cops and the fire department showed up and took down my contact info I was like "Not my problem anymore. I'm out of here."
So what's yours?
I worked at a dump. At first it was while the dump was running. You'd stand next to a big conveyor with a hook and grab big metal things like brake disks and oil filters out of the garbage so that they wouldn't clog up the grinder/compactor machinery the belt was feeding. We wore an "Outbreak" looking suit that was supposed to make the smell more bearable. Eventually I got promoted to the night shift, where we'd go around and clean up all the garbage that had fallen off the trucks and belts. And we'd lock out the machines and climb in them to chisel garbage off the parts.
Another time I was an overnight janitor at a big theater/museum complex. Part of that job involved emptying out the used tampon receptacles in the stalls of the women's bathrooms.
I did a war in a desert. That sucked. But at least I worked in an ad hoc base, so I had a tent to sleep in and as many MREs as I wanted and no one was shooting at me. And I was an officer, so I didn't have to use diesel fuel to burn human waste at the latrine areas.
Outside of jobs, I had to get a dead raccoon out of my aunt's chimney once. And I've found a human body. The one was more physically unpleasant--getting a mummified raccoon out of a chimney isn't any fun. The other was just mentally unpleasant--"What's that? A chair? A pile of old clothes? No. It's...a mannequin? It looks awful lifelike. Hello, 911? I think I just found a body." None of that was any fun, but once the cops and the fire department showed up and took down my contact info I was like "Not my problem anymore. I'm out of here."
So what's yours?