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What did one Toad say to the Other?

jack

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
There once was a toad that was excluded from all Green Toad activities because he was a handsome shade of yellow. So he went to visit a beautiful fairy in the town over who had the power to grant wishes.
"Fairy," he said. "I would like to be green, so I can play with all the other toads."

"Granted!" said the fairy, who turned him yellow. Unfortunately, his little toady penis was still yellow.

"What about my penis?" he asked the fairy.

"Oh! For that, you'll have to go see the wizard." And so the toad hopped off to find the wizard. Soon, a pink elephant visited the fairy, and he wished to be turned gray. She granted him the wish, but, as with the toad, his penis was still pink. So she told him to visit the wizard.

"How do I find the wizard?" he asked.

"Just follow the yellow dick toad."
 
This really really old guy is walking on the beach one day.
He hears a little teenie tiny voice calling out "Hey Mister ... pssst ... come here."

He looks around and sees a little tiny frog under a palm tree. He picks it up and it says "Hey Mister ... if you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful young woman and your wishes will be my commands forever."

He takes the frog, puts it in his pocket, and starts to walk back toward home.

The frog says "Hey, what are ya doing? Don't ya want to kiss me?"

The old man says, "No ... to tell you the truth, at my age, a talking frog is worth a whole lot more to me."
 
When is a car like a frog?

When it's being toad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111
 
What do you get when you cross a science fiction film with a frog?

Star Warts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111
 
What kind of shoes does Mr T like?

Size 2 open toad sandals of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
 
A widow was feeling rather lonely and decided that the best thing for her would be to have a companion. So, off she went to the pet shop. She wasn't sure just what kind of pet she'd like, so she figured she'd just walk around until she found just the 'right one.' She went past the adorable little puppies, past the playful kittens, past the preening birds, past the sleeping hamsters, past the whirling gerbils, and past the colorful fish.

Nothing really appealed to her and seemed to be just what she was looking for. She decided to go around the store again. On the way over to the puppies, she walked by a barrel. At the bottom of the barrel was a rather nasty looking toad. When she looked in, he WINKED at her! Our poor widow just shook herself! She couldn't believe it. She rather quickly went back to the other pets on display.

Once again, she checked out those sweet little puppies, the darling kittens, the fluttering birds, the fuzzy hamsters, the sleek gerbils, and the darting fish. Nothing really, really did it for her. She was starting to get discouraged. So, she figured one last time around, just in case she missed something.

Going by the barrel again, she took another peek. There was that nasty toad, and this time, he puckered up and threw her a kiss!! This was almost too much for the poor widow and she just about ran over to the other pets.

She tried hard to find just the right one to take home with her, but not one of those cute puppies or silky kittens or chirping birds or golden hamsters or skinny gerbils or fancy fish seemed right for her. Totally discouraged by now, the widow decide to go home.

On the way out of the shop, she had to walk past the barrel again. As she furtively peeked in, the toad just gave her the most beseeching look, and he had a little tear on the corner of his eye. He even sniffed a bit. This was too much for our widow, she started heading for the exit in a hurry.

All of a sudden it struck her that this poor toad was probably just as lonely as she was. Not only that, but he was so ugly that no one would probably buy him, especially not with all the other nice pets available. So up to the counter she marched, told the salesperson she'd take the toad, but requested that he be put in a sturdy box. When she got to her car, she placed the box on the seat next to her and proceeded to drive home.

As she was driving along, she heard some scratching coming from the box. She tried to ignore it for a bit, but then thought that the toad might need some air, so she opened the box a bit. She would glance over at the toad from time to time, and he kept winking at her and throwing her kisses. She finally thought, "Oh heck, what could it hurt?" and she leaned over and kissed him!

And POOF! He turned into a handsome prince!!!

And do you know what our poor widow turned into?

The first motel she came to!
 
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