Why are split infinitives "bad"?

[CaptainWacky]

What harm do they do? I can't say I've ever been personally wounded by one.

 

[Mentalist]

I ignore them since I have enough to think about in my life already and don't need to add the task of referencing my brain all the time to see whether I've used a split infinitive.

Which sounds better anyway: "to always want," or "to want always."


JIBBLY TENNIS EARS, I SAY.

 

[Dr Dave]

People who hate them are bloody elitists!

 

[CaptainWacky]

They're not even confusing.

 

[whisky]

Elitists should just boldly go away

 

[CaptainWacky]

AND EAT SOME PAIN.

 

[Cassie]

I don't know what a split infinitive is!

 

[Dr Dave]

Nobody does.

 

[CaptainWacky]

You know the famous example.

 

[Mentalist]

You can't split infinity.

 

[Dr Dave]

You know the famous example.

I do?

 

[Cassie]

TO BOLDLY GO...

 

[Dr Dave]

Where no penis has gone before?

 

[Cassie]

That's the famous split infinitive

 

[CaptainWacky]

If you split infinity into two, how long would the two parts be?

 

[The Tomtrek]

What harm do they do? I can't say I've ever been personally wounded by one.

The edges of all the split parts of the infinitve have sharp edges and someone could cut themselves.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Some emo, you mean.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Nero's using them to destroy Vulcan.

 

[Dr Dave]

He should find something better to do.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

He's tried everything already, biting his nails, shaping his eyebrows, getting tats, joining a fight club. In the end, destroying Vulcan is the only thing that excites him.