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10. He could call me Keptin all night long!
9. Russian = Big Dick
8. Gawd, he was cute back then.
7. I'd love to hear him scream "Мой бог! Я приезжаю!"
6. The Beatles/Monkees haircuts always got me off.
5. He already knows how to shoot off the big guns.
4. I'm sure he's got big Westicles, too.
3. He had a cute ass.
2. Gotta love that accent!
1. His name already sounds like "Jack-off"