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Would you Fap to Octomom Porn?

^the articles today were hysterical. She talks about the "wonders of learning to pleasure herself" and the great tutor she had.

LOL
 
Have fond memories of eating SpaghettiOs as a kid? Better prepare to have another chunk of your childhood innocence crushed into a fine powder. Seems the canned pasta makes an appearance in Octomom's very first porno, which she began filming late last week.

A source tells the Huffington Post that during the shoot, desperate-for-cash human incubator Nadya Suleman posed for photos covered in the round, tomato-coated carb.

"For the pictures, we had her topless with a thick sparkly red choker with a big red heart in front and red and white polka dot panties ... like 1950s style," explains the spy. "SpaghettiOs were all over her body, and she's even throwing the SpaghettiOs toward the camera. The label on the can was changed from SpaghettiOs to say 'Saucy Octos.'"

By all means, take a moment to say a fond farewell to all types of pasta, which you likely will never crave again now that the phrase "Saucy Octos" has been burned into your brain.

As for Suleman's onanistic X-rated debut, TMZ says she overcame her initial nervousness after chitchatting with some other porn performers who were on hand (unintentional pun, but we're leaving it) for her on-camera self-gratification. She also watched some sample flicks for inspiration.

"She was a natural," says an insider. "She looked great!!"

Octomom herself believes she's really mastered the genre.

"My first shoot was amazing," the mother of 14 tells HuffPo's Naughty But Nice Rob. "Such a learning experience for me in so many ways. I don't think I could have asked for a better crew to work with. They were so patient and willing to teach me. ... They made me look so glamorous, and for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful and sexy.

I'm very excited for it to come out!"

The bankrupt Suleman reportedly plans to use the cash from her one-woman porn (out mid-June -- mark your calendars!) to buy her brood a bigger house. And hopefully some therapy.
 
Let's see...do I find creases, wrinkles, deep folds, stretch marks, and other deformations arousing?

Well, actually, yes. I do.

So it's a yes from me.
 
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Wait, I've improved the image. I'm going to print it out and take it into the bathroom with me! I'll let you know how it goes...

5217.imgcache.jpg
 
I'm back. Deflated a few times because I kept drifting to the following areas:

5218.imgcache.jpg


Finally able to finish when I fantasized that while I was hitting Octo from behind (the ONLY way to go, all things very much considered) ABC News' Paula Faris came in and let me lick her feet.

All in all, not bad.
 
Be just as good fapping to an empty hallway, cuz that's all I can think of when I imagine her vagina after 14 kids.
 
Hey there old man. How's things out that way? I missed the last hello op. You and Donovan going on about fashion was so cute I didn't want to interrupt.
 
Well, I like to think we're pretty fashionable guys. I decided to stop a bit short of the 'metro' level that Donovan is on, but I only buy brand names like Fruit of the Loom and Wrangler, so I suppose that makes me something of an authority, eh?
Aside from my undeniable fashion sense, life is life. Still waiting on junior to fly down the chute but nothing major otherwise. You?
 
Whenever someone asks me about you (and it happens more often than people might think), I always make a point of explaining how fashion comes first in your life.

Everything is cool here. No news/good news. There a certain contentment that comes with the day in day out procedure. I don't have a lot of anything but I have enough of everything. There's a fair amount of solace in that. I try to mark points during these times so I'll have fond memories of good days when I'm old and tired.
 
I'm back. Deflated a few times because I kept drifting to the following areas:

5218.imgcache.jpg


Finally able to finish when I fantasized that while I was hitting Octo from behind (the ONLY way to go, all things very much considered) ABC News' Paula Faris came in and let me lick her feet.

All in all, not bad.

Just saw a clip from the film. She's a fucking riot. :bigass:
 
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