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WrestleMania 28

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
For the two people who might possibly reply if they happen to look at the board sometime!

The Rock versus John Cena - So WWE has had A WHOLE YEAR to build this up and yet it's still fizzled out. Cena keeps going back to his smiley, fakey, "this is all a big joke!" personality and not selling it at all. Rock still feels like a guest character and isn't going to stick around. Logically Cena should win, but it's in Miama and there would probably be an actual riot if Rock lost. Match should be good anyway.

The Undertaker versus Triple H Hell In A Cell - Who really cares? Undertaker hasn't done a match in a year and instead of putting someone new with him we get...Triple H again. Another part-timer. Notice how of the two top matches on the show, three of the people involved aren't regulars. Undertaker wins because there's no point in having HHH end the streak.

WWE championship: CM Punk versus Chris Jericho - Suspect Jericho will win to carry on the feud. Should be a good match, even though both can be sloppy at times.

World Heavyweight championship: Daniel Bryan versus Sheamus - Not much good build-up to this. Sheamus obviously winning.

Intercontinental title: Cody Rhodes versus The Big Show - Build-up's been good for this, ACTUALLY, and Big Show's been EFFECTIVE lately so this could actually be entertaining YOU CYNICS.

Team Teddy versus Team Johnny - It's the "get loads of people on the show" match and I can't be bothered explaining the story. Don't care really.

Randy Orton versus Kane - No reason for this match to exist other than to get them on the show. Orton wins. No one cares.

Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs. Divas Champion Beth Phoenix & Eve - Maria is someone US tv personality. WHO FUCKING CARES ARGH.

Yeah, main event is interesting, not much else is.
 
Sheamus is a full-size Irish man. Hornswoggle is the midget who will be starring in the WWE Films reboot of The Leprechaun movies. And no, I am not making that up.
 
Sheamus beat Daniel Bryan for the World title - In about four seconds. Fucking pathetic. They've got a four hour show, there's no reason for short matches. Plus Bryan was OVER LIKE ROVER with the fans doing his "yes!" thing. They did it during the next few matches too. Sheamus got booed on RAW so the fans are already rejecting the stupid way he won. FUCK WWE.

Kane beat Randy Orton - Kane held Orton in chinklocks for longer than the whole Sheamus/Bryan match lasted. No one takes Kane seriously and he beat Orton clean. Sucks for Orton!

Kelly and Maria beat Beth and Eve - Pointless, lasted too long.

Big Show beat Cody for the IC title - Match was just getting going, then Show speared Cody in the groin and it ended. Was okay.

Undertaker beat Triple H - I thought this was pretty great. Better than last year as it wasn't just them hitting loads of finishers and kicking out. I guess it did get a bit slow when HHH was ordering Shawn to "END IT!" but it told a great story. Shawn's facial expressions were great too. Ending was quite touching with them all hugging. Watch it!

Team Johnny beat Team Teddy - Eve turned on Ryder because all women are evil. Pretty boring match until the last few minutes.

CM Punk beat Chris Jericho - Started off a bit annoyingly but got really good.

Rock beat Cena - After about fifteen minutes of two shitty acts singing some shitty songs. Which was more important than the WORLD TITLE match apparently. Anyway, this was pretty good. Not a classic or anything, but I enjoyed it and the end was good with Cena doing his goofy, cocky act and getting caught. THE SMUG GIT.

Brock Lesnar returned on RAW and beat up Cena too. Who's going to be next? Ultimate Warrior?
 
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