CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
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jjgjg g pointless plife pointesl life pointless life pointless life pointes lite pointless lie pointless life pointless life pointless life pointless life lpointe psl potinpolf
anywya
everything's just an image not real
eveyrtin'gs jsut an image not
rtgdfh
gh
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god is dog
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________--
He was eating spaghetti. It went on and on. He'd never finish this fucking huge plate of spaghetti. He looked around for help but all the mafia crime lords had finishes their spaghetti and were staring at him with cruel judgemental looks on their fat faces. He tried to eat faster, but not the spaghette was stuck to the plate. It was like wire, he couldn't even cut it. He desperately hid the plate under his table.
"Finished!" he said, standing up. The teacher looked at him over her horn-rimmed glasses. Why are glasses always horn-rimmed, he wondered.
"SIT DOWN BOY," she said and all the other kids pointed and laughed as he sat down on his chair. Hadn't he just been somewhere else?
"I don't think you're a loser," said the cut blond girl beside him, giving him an encouraging pat on the knee. He recoiled in fear. He backed away from her so far that he plumetted through the wall, which was a surprise. Walls are supposed to be solid!
He awoke with a start. He'd fallen through a fucking wall...no, he was in bed. He was just in bed...he'd fallen through his bed!
He awoke with a start. Shouldn't he be on the floor? He was in bed, it had been a...he closed his eyes.
He was back in class, though it was a different class now, in fact it was a mix between a classroom and his kitchen. The blond girl was getting milk from the fridge. She smiled at him again. He smiled back...and the terrorists shot her!
"NOOOOOOOO!" he shouted jumping up to avenge her...then promptly running away. Terrorists scared the shit out of him.
He ran and ran through the park but the terrorists were still there...how did he get in a park...wasn't he just in bed...he wondered why he wasn't getting tired from running so much. He dived into the duck pond to hide from the terrorists. He could see his bed at the bottom of it...but he was attacked by an electric eel. He grabbed it by the the neck...do eels have necks? He squeezed and squeezed but it would not die and his terror grew and grew...the eel was the real terrorist! Shit!
He grabbed it around the neck and squeezed and squeezed...it was his cat. But hadn't he just been...but it was a terrorist cat! He squeezed and squeezed until the cat lay lifeless on his bed.
Shit, what he done? He'd thought he'd been dream but he'd actually been awake and he'd just killed his fucking cat! He tentatively reached out a hand to touch its dead body...when the cat jumped up and growled! It was a terrorist after all!
He woke up again. He was pretty sure he was really awake this time. There was no cat in his bed, dead or otherwise. He remembered, in fact, that the cat had died a year ago.
He looked at the clock. Still four hours before he "needed" to get up. He didn't actually "need" to get up at all, but he always did.
He tried to get back to sleep. He fell in and out, his dreams and reality mixed again, but he couldn't remember the details this time.
That was probably for the best.
____--
A SONG ABOUT AIDS
AIDS IS BAD
IT CAN KILL A LAD
STARTS WITH HIV
AND IT COMES FOR FREE
DON'T USE NEEDLES
STAY HOME, LISTEN TO THE BEATLES
DON'T HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX
IT CAN HAVE UNDESIRED EFFECTS
_____
GOOD SONG TELL IT TO ALL THE AFRICANS AND THEY'LL FUCKING BE CURED RIGHT WHY CAN'T AFRICA JUST SORT ITSELF OUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT'S THE OLDEST COUNTRY ON EARTH OR CONTINENT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS WHY CAN'T THE LEARN HOW TO BE CIVILISED AND NOT HAVE AIDS LIKE THE REST OF US HAVE I DON'T MEAN TO BE RACIST OR ANYTHING BUT DO YOU THINK MAYBE THE CHINES ARE INVOLVED?
________________--
it's the last night of Big Brother and I can't even care enough to look at the live feed
g
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lol
_____
Messenger and Raffles talk like comic book super villains. It's kind of cool.
________--
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THE G IS FOR GOD RIGHT
_______
I wish I'd never been told of the concept of "god"
__-
PLAY
Man: Hello dear.
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before we kiss?
Woman: Fine.
(They kiss.)
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before you take my hat and coat?
Woman: Fine.
(She takes his hat and coat.)
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before I eat?
Woman: Fine.
(The woman puts dinner out on the table and he eats it, every last morsel. It takes up ten minutes of stage time. The woman stares at him expressionless the whole time. Finally, he finishes.)
Man: Aaah, that was filling.
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before we make love?
Woman: Fine.
(They have full, graphic sex for fifteen minutes. The man bits the woman's left breasts so hard that she actually bleeds real blood, but she does not attend to it.)
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Sorry, what?
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Sorry, my orgasm was so pleasurable that I missed the last two things you said due to my brain being overwhelmed by pleasure! Allow me but a minute to recover.
Woman: Fine.
(She waits a minute. The man walks up and down making sighing noises.)
Man: Ah, that's better. I feared that orgasm may have been the end of me!
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Why dear, I've been at work, the same place I am everyday!
Woman: Oh.
Man: All you had to do was ask!
Woman: I thought maybe you'd been molesting children.
Man: Why would I do that?
Woman: It's fun.
(She opens a cabinet revealing three bound and gagged children stuffed inside. The scream for help. She shuts the cabinet and their screams instantly cease.)
Man: Well, quite.
Woman: I need to go attend to my bleeding breast.
Man: Quite right, can't go breast feeding the baby with a bleeding breast! How is he, anyway?
Woman: I dashed his head against a brick wall, killing him.
Man: Ah, I see.
Woman: If you'll excuse me.
Man: Quite.
(She leaves. He takes out his phone.)
Man: Hello, police? I believe my wife may be having some problems...
FIN
_______
GODO PLAY WACKY SAME YOU DIND'T POST IT IN ITS OWN THREAD AND NBOODY WILL READ IT BURIED ATHT BOTTOM OF THING OF THE DAY JUST LIKE YOU'LL BE BURIED IN THE GROUDN ONE DAY EXCEPT NOT REALLY YOU BECASUE YOU'LL BE DEAD YOU'RE JUST THE CONSCIOUS AWARENESS OF YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND ONCE THAT'S GONE THERE'S NOTHING BUT AN INAMINATE BODY AND IT IS THAT WHICH SHALL BE BURIED BUT THE POINT STANDS
dfh
h
h
s
jjgjg g pointless plife pointesl life pointless life pointless life pointes lite pointless lie pointless life pointless life pointless life pointless life lpointe psl potinpolf
anywya
everything's just an image not real
eveyrtin'gs jsut an image not
rtgdfh
gh
gh
h
god is dog
h
________--
He was eating spaghetti. It went on and on. He'd never finish this fucking huge plate of spaghetti. He looked around for help but all the mafia crime lords had finishes their spaghetti and were staring at him with cruel judgemental looks on their fat faces. He tried to eat faster, but not the spaghette was stuck to the plate. It was like wire, he couldn't even cut it. He desperately hid the plate under his table.
"Finished!" he said, standing up. The teacher looked at him over her horn-rimmed glasses. Why are glasses always horn-rimmed, he wondered.
"SIT DOWN BOY," she said and all the other kids pointed and laughed as he sat down on his chair. Hadn't he just been somewhere else?
"I don't think you're a loser," said the cut blond girl beside him, giving him an encouraging pat on the knee. He recoiled in fear. He backed away from her so far that he plumetted through the wall, which was a surprise. Walls are supposed to be solid!
He awoke with a start. He'd fallen through a fucking wall...no, he was in bed. He was just in bed...he'd fallen through his bed!
He awoke with a start. Shouldn't he be on the floor? He was in bed, it had been a...he closed his eyes.
He was back in class, though it was a different class now, in fact it was a mix between a classroom and his kitchen. The blond girl was getting milk from the fridge. She smiled at him again. He smiled back...and the terrorists shot her!
"NOOOOOOOO!" he shouted jumping up to avenge her...then promptly running away. Terrorists scared the shit out of him.
He ran and ran through the park but the terrorists were still there...how did he get in a park...wasn't he just in bed...he wondered why he wasn't getting tired from running so much. He dived into the duck pond to hide from the terrorists. He could see his bed at the bottom of it...but he was attacked by an electric eel. He grabbed it by the the neck...do eels have necks? He squeezed and squeezed but it would not die and his terror grew and grew...the eel was the real terrorist! Shit!
He grabbed it around the neck and squeezed and squeezed...it was his cat. But hadn't he just been...but it was a terrorist cat! He squeezed and squeezed until the cat lay lifeless on his bed.
Shit, what he done? He'd thought he'd been dream but he'd actually been awake and he'd just killed his fucking cat! He tentatively reached out a hand to touch its dead body...when the cat jumped up and growled! It was a terrorist after all!
He woke up again. He was pretty sure he was really awake this time. There was no cat in his bed, dead or otherwise. He remembered, in fact, that the cat had died a year ago.
He looked at the clock. Still four hours before he "needed" to get up. He didn't actually "need" to get up at all, but he always did.
He tried to get back to sleep. He fell in and out, his dreams and reality mixed again, but he couldn't remember the details this time.
That was probably for the best.
____--
A SONG ABOUT AIDS
AIDS IS BAD
IT CAN KILL A LAD
STARTS WITH HIV
AND IT COMES FOR FREE
DON'T USE NEEDLES
STAY HOME, LISTEN TO THE BEATLES
DON'T HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX
IT CAN HAVE UNDESIRED EFFECTS
_____
GOOD SONG TELL IT TO ALL THE AFRICANS AND THEY'LL FUCKING BE CURED RIGHT WHY CAN'T AFRICA JUST SORT ITSELF OUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE IT'S THE OLDEST COUNTRY ON EARTH OR CONTINENT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS WHY CAN'T THE LEARN HOW TO BE CIVILISED AND NOT HAVE AIDS LIKE THE REST OF US HAVE I DON'T MEAN TO BE RACIST OR ANYTHING BUT DO YOU THINK MAYBE THE CHINES ARE INVOLVED?
________________--
it's the last night of Big Brother and I can't even care enough to look at the live feed
g
g
g
g
lol
_____
Messenger and Raffles talk like comic book super villains. It's kind of cool.
________--
g
ggg
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
g
THE G IS FOR GOD RIGHT
_______
I wish I'd never been told of the concept of "god"
__-
PLAY
Man: Hello dear.
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before we kiss?
Woman: Fine.
(They kiss.)
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before you take my hat and coat?
Woman: Fine.
(She takes his hat and coat.)
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before I eat?
Woman: Fine.
(The woman puts dinner out on the table and he eats it, every last morsel. It takes up ten minutes of stage time. The woman stares at him expressionless the whole time. Finally, he finishes.)
Man: Aaah, that was filling.
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Must I answer such questions before we make love?
Woman: Fine.
(They have full, graphic sex for fifteen minutes. The man bits the woman's left breasts so hard that she actually bleeds real blood, but she does not attend to it.)
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Sorry, what?
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Sorry, my orgasm was so pleasurable that I missed the last two things you said due to my brain being overwhelmed by pleasure! Allow me but a minute to recover.
Woman: Fine.
(She waits a minute. The man walks up and down making sighing noises.)
Man: Ah, that's better. I feared that orgasm may have been the end of me!
Woman: Where have you been?
Man: Why dear, I've been at work, the same place I am everyday!
Woman: Oh.
Man: All you had to do was ask!
Woman: I thought maybe you'd been molesting children.
Man: Why would I do that?
Woman: It's fun.
(She opens a cabinet revealing three bound and gagged children stuffed inside. The scream for help. She shuts the cabinet and their screams instantly cease.)
Man: Well, quite.
Woman: I need to go attend to my bleeding breast.
Man: Quite right, can't go breast feeding the baby with a bleeding breast! How is he, anyway?
Woman: I dashed his head against a brick wall, killing him.
Man: Ah, I see.
Woman: If you'll excuse me.
Man: Quite.
(She leaves. He takes out his phone.)
Man: Hello, police? I believe my wife may be having some problems...
FIN
_______
GODO PLAY WACKY SAME YOU DIND'T POST IT IN ITS OWN THREAD AND NBOODY WILL READ IT BURIED ATHT BOTTOM OF THING OF THE DAY JUST LIKE YOU'LL BE BURIED IN THE GROUDN ONE DAY EXCEPT NOT REALLY YOU BECASUE YOU'LL BE DEAD YOU'RE JUST THE CONSCIOUS AWARENESS OF YOUR OWN THOUGHTS AND ONCE THAT'S GONE THERE'S NOTHING BUT AN INAMINATE BODY AND IT IS THAT WHICH SHALL BE BURIED BUT THE POINT STANDS
