You can say that again

whisky

Boobie inspector
"I hate these diplomatic missions." Bob complained as the BMF settled in orbit around Grahog Prime.
"This one will be a piece of cake, we go in, we look at the omicron particle generator, we smile politely, and we leave! We'll be there less than an hour." Angela replied soothingly.
"What exactly does the omicron generator do?" Fred asked.
"It works in a similar way to my own power source, drawing zero state energy from the atoms around the generator, it’s a power supply that should last forever." Biotech explained.
"I thought most planets used cold fusion for all their energy needs." George asked.
"Most do, but the Grahogians claim to have made the omicron particle generator 1000 times more efficient than a fusion generator of the same size." Biotech added.
"You sound eager to see it, maybe you should go instead of me." Fred suggested.
"Oh no!" Bob said hurriedly, "I'm not having anyone scientific down their asking questions, keeping us there any longer than we have to be, its just you, me and Angela. We go in, we get out, quick and simple."
"They have transmitted transporter co-ordinates for the complex." Gino reported. “You are expected at 1300hrs precisely.†He added.
Bob sighed.
"Come on then lets get this over with." He said resignedly.

The three of them beamed down at the end of a corridor.
The section they beamed into was tiled, and had warning labels about being a designated beamdown area.
A cute woman in a lab coat came walking down the corridor to meat them, a couple of discreet security guards behind her.
"Captain Jones, its such a pleasure to meet you. I'm doctor Kelly." She announced.
Bob and the others stepped off the beam in area, and as they did so, Angela stood on a tile that was on the edge and it broke, twisting her ankle slightly, Fred grabbed her arm as she stumbled.
"Sorry about the tiles, we spent so much money on the omicron particle generator, we had little left for decoration!" Kelly said apologetically.
"No harm done." Angela said graciously.
"This is my second officer and wife, Angela Jones, and my weapons officer Fred Smith." Bob introduced the others.
"Weapons? The omicron particle generator isn’t a weapon, it cant even overload!" The doctor said in alarm.
"Relax, he’s a life long friend, I invited him down as a special treat." Bob said smiling at Fred.
Fred put on his best fake smile, but his eyes told Bob he would hear about this later.
"Would you like to see it now? I'm very eager to turn it on." Kelly said pointing down the end of the corridor.
Fred looked at the doctors body admiringly.
He started to say something, and Bob elbowed him in the ribs.
"We'd be delighted to see it now." He replied.
The six of them walked down the corridor, towards a room at the end where two more guards stood outside.
"Get ready to be amazed!" Kelly said proudly, as she opened the door.
They walked into the room, and in the centre was a globe, a meter in diameter, with various wires and tubes leading from it, and some flashing lights.
"Woo Hoo." Angela said with mock enthusiasm. The device looked like any other generator shed ever seen.
"Ok its not much to look at, but just wait till you see how much power this thing can put out." Kelly said proudly, as she walked over to a switch on the wall.
"Would any of you like to do the honours?" She asked politely.
"We're just here to watch, its your planet and your machine, you should have all the honour." Bob replied trying not to sound bored.
"Thank you captain, now watch the power levels on this board as I throw this switch!" Kelly said enthusiastically, then she throw the switch, there was a hum as the generator kicked into life and then…

The three of them found themselves tingling slightly as they beamed into the corridor again.
"What the hell?" Fred said in shock, as they arrived back where they had started from five minutes earlier.
"Was this meant to happen?" Bob asked, as he looked up the corridor to see Dr Kelly arriving with the bodyguards.
"I don’t think so." Angela said, stepping off the tiles, and breaking one on the edge.
They all looked down, there was only one broken tile.
"Captain Jones, its such a pleasure to meet you. I'm doctor.."
"Kelly, what’s going on here?" Bob asked angrily.
"I'm sorry, I don’t know what you mean? If its about the tiles.."
"Its not about the tiles its about beaming us back out here, then pretending we haven’t met." Angela replied.
Kelly looked at the guards curiously. "But we haven’t met." She countered.
"Yes we did, you showed us the generator and when you turned it on, we ended up back here!" Fred responded.
"You beamed down from your ship only a few minutes ago, the generator hasn’t been turned on yet, we were waiting for your visit to do so, if this is some kind of joke I don’t get it." Kelly said disappointed.
"I think the joke is on us." Bob replied.
"Do you still want to see on the omicron particle generator?" Kelly said hopefully.
"Sure why the hell not." Bob replied sarcastically.
Warily Kelly lead them back up the corridor towards the generator room, they were almost at the door when…

The three of them found themselves tingling slightly as they beamed into the corridor again
"This shit is getting old real fast!" Fred said angrily.
"Look at the tile." Angela pointed out.
The three of them looked down, and none of the tiles were broken.
Dr Kelly and her guards walked down the corridor to greet them.
"We're stuck in a time loop." Bob said grimly.
Angela nodded, "Looks like it lasts about 5 minutes." She estimated.
Bob looked at his watch, it was showing less than a minute after one PM.
"Captain Jones, its such a pleasure to meet you…"
"Your doctor Kelly, we know, we'd like to see the generator really fast please lets go!" Bob said striding off the tiles, the others followed him quickly, Angela smashing the tile as she left.
The doctor looked surprised and pleased at the eagerness of the visitors.
As they walked up the corridor at double pace, she looked at Bob.
"How did you know my name?" She asked curiously.
"We were briefed before we got here." Bob explained, as they walked through the door to where the generator was.
"What do you think, should we turn it on?" Bob asked.
"That is why you are here." Kelly said politely.
"I was talking to my people." Bob said tersely.
"Well it didn’t even get chance to turn on last time and we still looped." Angela pointed out.
"Were getting close to five minutes anyway, so what’s the harm?" Fred countered.
"What’s going on?" Kelly asked in puzzlement.
"I'll tell you later." Bob said, going to the wall and pulling the switch.
The generator hummed into life, Angela and Fred flinched, but they remained where they were, relieved smiles spread onto their faces.
"What do you know, it.."
"…Worked." Bob said as the three of them beamed back into the corridor.
"Or maybe not." Fred said dryly.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Angela yelled, stamping her feet, breaking many tiles.
Ignoring the approaching doctor, Bob pulled out his communicator.
"Biotech come in."
"I'm here, how went the demonstration?" The robot asked politely.
"Not well, we've been stuck in a 5 minute time loop, we've been through it 3 times now." Bob explained.
"What’s going on here?" Asked the doctor.
"Shhhhh!" Angela said holding her finger to her mouth.
There was a stunned silence from Biotech, then, "Err Bob you’ve been gone 15 minutes, and the omicron waves have been emanating from your site the entire time." Biotech explained.
"Broaden your scans, there’s something weird going on here, the generator isn’t activated yet."
"The waves are quite unmistakable." Biotech countered.
"Ok, whatever, just lock onto us and beam us back up." Bob ordered.
"Ok."
The three of them started to tingle with the unmistakable experience of being beamed up.

Then they had the rather unnerving experience of re-materialising more or less exactly where they were stood before.
The communicator was back on his belt.
The doctor and her guards were walking towards them again.
"Stall her." Bob ordered.
Angela stepped off walking towards the doctor, smashing a tile as she went.
Bob pulled the communicator out again.
"What the hell happened then?" Bob asked.
"Weirdest thing, when we beamed you up, your patterns just vanished from the transporter. Then you were back where you started." Biotech said in amazement.
"Yeah, well we know weird." He said resignedly.
"We have found something else, there is a time loop, but its not just in that building, or that planet, signals from GNN and other comm channels is looping too, looks like the entire galaxy has been put on a five minute loop, apart from this ship that as usual is resistant to changes in the time line." Biotech explained.
"But what about us we're not on the ship."
"But when you beamed down, your molecules were made from the ship, you retain some of its properties."
Bob reached down for a broken tile, and in a move that made Fred wince, he cut his own palm with the jagged edge.
"This cut should bleed for more than a few minutes." Bob explained.
"I see what your getting at." Biotech replied, you are approaching the 5 minute mark."
"I know." Bob said sadly.

The three of them tingled their way into their original positions.
Bob glanced at his hand, it was unmarked and not bleeding.
"What does it mean?" Fred asked looking at the hand.
"We remember each loop, but nothing that happens to us in the loop survives to the next one." Angela theorised.
"So there are no consequences to our actions!" Fred said, running towards the doctor and her guards.
"Fred NO!" Bob yelled.
Fred hurled himself at the guards, knocking one flying, he was unconscious before he hit the floor, he levelled the other one with a cruel blow to the stomach.
Scooping up both their guns he tossed them to Bob and Angela who caught them reflexively.
"What are you doing?" Kelly shouted in alarm.
"Stopping this madness." Fred said, as he ran towards the other end of the corridor, only to be blown back, two gaping holes in his chest.
"NNNNnoooooooo!!!" Bob yelled as the two other guards gunned down his friend, he returned fire and the two guards dropped.
He ran to Fred, but it was obvious he was dead, and his werewolf enhanced bodies ability to regenerate lost parts wasn’t going to heal over those wounds.
"Come on lets destroy that generator!" Angela said angrily.
"No, not this time." Bob explained sadly.
"What?" Angela said in disbelief.
"Think, if destroying the generator ends the loop, then Fred is dead, if the next loop starts then we all go back…"

The three of them appeared, Fred gasping and clutching for his chest.
"Fuck that was weird!" He said as he rubbed the place where the holes should have been.
"Not a bad plan, but we need more co-ordination, I'll take left, you take right, and we take out the others near the door straight away." Bob ordered.
"Right," Fred acknowledged.
"Captain Jones, its such a pleasure to.." Kelly started, before she was tackled by Angela.
Bob and Fred expertly dispatched the guards with a minimum of fuss, then shot the other two at the end of the corridor, they ran for the room, bursting through, and pointed their guns at the generator.
"Is this a good idea?" Fred asked nervously.
"Your thinking it might blow up with quite a big explosion?" Bob asked, the thought having clearly crossed his mind too.
"Well it is supposed to be turned off at the moment." Fred pointed out.
"But Biotech said he could still sense the omicron waves."
"Maybe the waves go backwards through time, maybe that’s what’s causing all this shit." Fred theorised.
"That maybe the single most clever thing you’ve ever said." Bob replied smiling.
Fred grinned, "Oh well might as well make it the last then, and he fired his gun.
The generator blasted apart, pieces flying everywhere.
There was a scream down the corridor as Kelly watched her work being destroyed.
"Well, if that doesn’t do the trick then.."

"..We're fucked." Bob finished, as they appeared in the corridor.
Angela and Fred sighed.
"Stall her again." Bob ordered, and he got his communicator out again.
"Biotech, we tried destroying the generator before it could be turned on, it didn’t work, Fred thinks that the omicron particles travelled back in time from the first time the generator was turned on."
"That could be it, when the waves hit the transporter beam carrying the molecules from the ship that is resistant to temporal anomalies, it set up a loop!" Biotech said excitedly.
Fred looked very proud.
"Great, so how do we stop it?" Bob asked.
"We'll have to get back to you on that, it might take us an hour or two to work out a theory, in the mean time I suggest you relax and have some fun."
"Fun? Do you have any idea what we are going through?" Bob asked.
"No consequences remember?" Biotech reminded him, then broke the link.
Bob put his communicator back on his belt.
Fred smiled, and walked over to the doctor.
She smiled back at him, then he grabbed her, and against her muffled squeal of protest, kissed her deeply while groping her breasts.
Bob shook his head.
"Not cool Fred." He said disappointed.
The two guards rushed into to protect the doctor, and Angela kicked one in the head knocking him out, and winded the other one with a whip of her tail.
"Why should I let you two have all the fun?" She added smiling.
"How dare you!" Kelly shouted as she managed to pull away.
"I have a feeling you'll forgive me soon." Fred said, as he extended one claw through his finger, and ripped it down the front of her blouse, then pulling it apart, exposing her exquisite breasts.
"Very nice!" He said in admiration.
"You’re an animal!" She said in disgust, then she winced as both Angela and Fred were gunned down around her.
Bob flinched, no man should have to see his wife and best friend killed, even if it only was temporary.
Kelly pulled her tattered clothes around herself as the other guards came running, their guns pointed at Bob.
"You are going to be in so much trouble over this!" She warned.
Bob glanced at his watch.
"Ask me if I care?" He said dryly.

"You're right that is weird!" Angela said as they appeared again.
"Fred, don’t molest the doctor any more its really not a nice thing to do." Bob said disappointedly.
"It never happened." Fred pointed out to him.
"For her it never happened, for us it did." Bob explained.
"Chill out Bob." Angela said, carefully stepping over the loose tiles, and walking up to the doctor.
"Hi doctor Kelly." Angela said, then embraced the doctor and kissed her deeply, caressing her breasts.
The doctor did not struggle, her eyes opened wide, and her hands went for Angela's breasts.
The guards didn’t know where to look, Fred had a big grin on his face, and Bob stood there with his jaw open.
"Do you think she can do this in the next time loop too?" Fred asked.
"Why?" Bob asked apprehensively.
"I thought I might crack one off." Fred replied simply.
"What? In five minutes?"
"It’s a challenge I admit." Fred replied.
"We could race." Bob suggested.
Fred grinned, "What about the guards?"
"We're guests, we'll just have to see what happens."

And as the next time loop occurred, Bob and Fred hurried masturbated while watching Angela make out with Kelly as the guards watched on incredulously.
"I'm getting close!" Bob said his voice strained.
"Yeah me too! I'm…"

As the three of them materialised again Fred felt the inside of his trousers getting sticky and damp.
"…There! Oh fuck!"
Bob and Angela laughed at Fred's predicament.
"This isn’t funny!" Fred said as he realised he'd feel that sticky for another 5 minutes.
"Sure it is." Bob said, as he whipped his pants down, then quickly did the same with Angela’s.
"Mmmmm." She said in surprise as Bob entered her, they were both still turned on from the last loop.
"What the hell is going on, stop that!" Shouted Kelly in alarm.
"Its an earth custom, just ignore them for the next four minutes or so." Fred replied.
"Is there a toilet on this floor?" He asked.
"There is one in the lab, I'll show you the way." Kelly offered.
"Its ok I knew the way." Fred said, heading for the lab, and he almost made it to the toilet before..

The three of them materialised again.
"Fuck this!" Fred said, pulling out his member and relieving himself on the wall, his urine melting the metal of the wall and the ceramic tiles.
"Yeah I could do with one too." Bob said, joining him, trying to pee higher up the wall.
"Well now you mention it.." Angela added, pulling her pants down and crouching over the times.
"Were you people born in a barn!" Kelly said in disgust.

"What shall we do this time?" Fred asked as they appeared again.
"I think I'll just sit this one out." Bob replied, sliding his back down the wall and sitting on the tiles.
"Sounds good to me." Angela said, slinking down besides him and cuddling him.
"Fine, I'll just make my own amusement." Fred said, transforming into his werewolf persona.
"Did you know I could do this?" He asked the startled doctor?
The guards trained their guns on him nervously.
"No, I didn’t, do all humans have this ability?"
"No I'm the only one. I'm strong too, watch!" Fred said, as he ran forward and scooped up the doctor and both guards in his arms, running with them towards the generator room where the other two guards waited.
Putting the doctor over his shoulder, he threw the two guards at the other guards, and then burst through the door.
"What are you doing! Don’t hurt me!" The doctor screamed.
"Relax Kelly, you know I've been in this room a few times and I've never looked out of the window." Fred said, putting her down, then running towards the glass and leaping through it.
"Damn this is a tall building!" Fred said as he started plummeting towards the ground that lay so far below, with the broken glass falling around him.
"Yeeeaaahaaahhhh!" he yelled as he flew through the air, splatting messily on the ground.

"I am getting seriously bored by this." Fred announced as he appeared near the others again.
"Yeah, I'll see what the crew has for us." Bob replied, getting out his communicator.
"Biotech, what’s the situation?" He asked, as Kelly arrived, looking perplexed that he was talking on his communicator after just arriving.
"We're still working on the technicalities, we think we have a line that’s worth perusing, but it will take another hour or so." Biotech explained apologetically.
"Oh great we got another dozen of these fucking loops to go through!" Bob complained bitterly.
"What are you griping about, for the next hour you can do anything you want with no possible consequences, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity." Biotech explained.
"No it’s a once every five minutes opportunity! Jones out." Bob said closing the link.
"Hey Angela, who do you think would win in a fight to the death between me and Fred?" Bob asked light-heartedly.
"Are you kidding?" She asked in shock, Fred's eyebrows raised too.
"No I'm serious, we'll come back to life anyway, and I've always wondered if I could take him in full werewolf mode." Bob replied.
"Excuse me don’t you want to see the experiment?" Kelly asked in frustration at being ignored.
"Fuck off we're talking!" Angela yelled at her.
"Come on Bob, I'd rip your head off in five seconds if we go at this no holds barred." Fred replied.
"Oh it will be no holds barred I can assure you!" Bob said grinning maniacally.
"You aren’t really going to fight your best friend to the death are you?" Angela asked in shock.
"Why not?" Bob asked simply.
"Yeah it will be a laugh!" Fred replied.
They both looked at their watches.
"From the start of the next loop?" Bob asked.
"Let me check my diary." Fred replied dryly.
They both grinned while Angela shook her head in disbelief.
"Will someone please tell me what is going on!" Kelly complained loudly.

The next loop started and Bob immediately rolled out of position, as Fred smashed his arm through the space he was standing in just a second ago.
Bob came out of his roll and into a fighting stance as Fred went to full werewolf mode, and flexed his enlarged and hairy muscles.
Kelly screamed and the guards raised their weapons.
"Don’t interfere!" Angela shouted, "This is a show put on for your benefit, just stand back and enjoy it!" She added, hoping this wouldn’t be too bloody.
Fred beckoned Bob on with his hand stretched out, in classic Bruce Lee style.
Bob glanced at the nearest guard, he could get a weapon easy, and shoot Fred, but then he wouldn’t know if he could take him on skill alone, he knew a lot of martial arts, and he was fast, he'd killed many men with his bare hands alone, and werewolf or not, Fred still had a septum.
Bob leaped to his side, and grabbed the edge of Angela’s top, then yanked it up exposing all four of her breasts, then as Fred's eyes were drawn to the four magnificent mammories, he dashed towards him, even as his legs carried him forwards, the distance between them measure in feet, his arm was swinging out, his wrist bent back, the flat of his hand ready to drive the septum up into his brain, the classic move when attacking an opponent with superior strength, take him out fast before he can hurt you.
Before his open palm could make contact with Fred's nose, Fred's hand moved like lightning, grabbing Bob's wrist, and twisting it with such force that the bones in his forearms snapped, and would have poked through his uniform were it not for the materials bullet proof nature.
The shock of what had just happened hit Bob before the pain reached his brain, seeing half his arm dangle at an unnatural angle made him feel nauseous, but he was still fighting for his life, and instinct took over.
His whole body spun around as he lifted off the floor, his right leg shooting up and around making contact with Fred's head, knocking the head around, sending blood spraying across the wall, where it started dissolving the metal.
Bob landed and seeing Fred momentarily dazed, started a left handed swing towards his nose.
Fred intercepted the swing with his arm, twisting Bob's left arm so violently that it was actually ripped from his body with a torrent of blood spurting from the wound.
Weather it was seeing Bob in so much pain or simply the animal blood lust of his werewolf form, Fred couldn’t leave Bob like that, and grabbed his head on either side, and with a sudden twist and a sickening crunch, snapped his neck.
Bob's lifeless body dropped to the floor much to Angela’s horror.
"Is this part of the show?" Kelly asked in shock.

"Ok, if I ever have to fight you for real, I'm definitely going to have to shoot you." Bob said as they appeared again.
"Well I'm fifty times stronger than you what did you expect?" Fred asked.
"I'm not used to loosing fights." Bob replied.
"Well that was pretty damn fucked up to watch Bob, so don’t do that again please." Angela said sounding pissed off.
"Sorry babe, what do you want to do now?" Bob asked apologetically.
"How about all three of us try flying from that window Fred took a dive out of?" She suggested.
"Sure, being dead kills time faster!" Fred agreed heartily.
"Suits me!" Bob added, as they charged through Kelly and her guards.

"Anyone getting hungry?" Bob asked, after they recovered from their fatal fall.
"Not really, I mean our bodies don’t really change from one loop to the next, so technically its not been long since our last meal, even though it seems that way now." Fred countered.
"Yeah, but whatever we eat now, we aren’t going to put weight on are we?" Angela responded.
Bob got his communicator out.
"Biotech, beam us down three big fuck off chocolate cakes, the sickly ones you eat with a spoon." He ordered.
"You want spoons with those?" The robot enquired.
"Hell no, doesn’t matter about making a mess!" Bob replied.
"Stand by." Biotech responded, as he broke the link.
"Excuse me but if you are hungry we have a cafeteria." Kelly announced wondering why her guests weren’t paying her any attention.
"How far away?" Fred asked.
"Only a five minute walk." She replied.
"That’s not much fucking use then!" Fred retorted, shocking her.
Then three huge cakes appeared in front of them on three plates.
Bob, Fred and Angela tucked into the cakes like pigs, sticking their faces in, getting filthy, eating with no care of tooth decay or getting fat.
They were only half way though when the next loop started, and too their surprise the half eaten cakes were still there in front of them.
"That’s weird." Said Bob looking at the plates.
"Did the loop still happen?" Fred asked in amazement as for once there was something new in the loop.
"Our faces are clean, and my tummy isn’t full of cake." Angela replied.
"Whatever they send from the ship stays with us in the next loop!" Bob announced.
"But our bodies return to normal, no matter what happens, why aren’t the cakes full again?" Fred asked.
"We are stuck in the loop because we arrived before the experiment took place." Angela explained, "The cakes arrived after the experiment took place, even though in this time line it hasn’t yet, we know it already has, and the omicron particles are in place bringing on the loop."
Bob winced. “I hate temporal mechanics.†He moaned.
“Ok, I understand why the cake we didn’t eat is here, but what happened to the cake we did eat if its not in us?†Fred asked puzzled.
“Destroyed, by the beginning off the next loop.†Angela theorised.
“Excuse me am I interrupting anything?†Kelly asked impatiently.
“Damn it woman why do you always have to interrupt us?†Angela said angrily, shocking Kelly and making the guards reach nervously for their weapons.
“Deal with them, any way you like.†Bob ordered, indicating the professor and her team.
As Fred and Angela walked towards the nervous team, Bob opened his communicator.
“Biotech we’ve discovered something important.â€
“So have we, but what’s yours?†Came the robots reply.
Bob’s eyebrows raised, as he wondered what the news would be.
“Anything you beam from the ships to us stays with us into the next loop, assuming we don’t eat it.†Bob explained.
“Great, that’s something we can work with, I’m dispatching a shuttle to pick you up, but it wont make it in this loop. We need to get this thing sorted soon though, space time is beginning to fracture, and its centred on the ship†Biotech said gravely.
“What?†Bob asked in horror.
“Time is repeating when it should be moving forward, if the BMF was doing that too there wouldn’t be a problem, but because the ship is not affected by the time loop, its creating friction, an analogy would be two geological plates on a fault line, they can be trying to move in different directions but the friction stops them moving until they slip in an earthquake.â€
“So what are we expecting a time quake?†Bob asked tentatively.
“No, we’re expecting either the ship to be destroyed, or the universe, or both.†Biotech countered gravely.
“Fuck.†Bob replied simply.
“Indeed. We estimate we have another twenty time loops before the friction becomes critical.â€
“If we get to the 19th loop I want you to take the ship back in time to before we arrived, try and prevent us from beaming down any way you can.†Bob ordered.
“I don’t know if time travel will even be possible when we are in a loop, but I’ll try, but we’ll do out best to find a solution before we get to that point.â€
Suddenly the communicator wasn’t in Bob’s hand any more, and the time loop had started again.
Angela and Fred looked at him worriedly.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.†Fred said, looking at Bob’s pale face.
“Time is running out.†Bob said simply.
“I thought time was all we had?†Angela replied.
“We have 19 more loops, after that the universe is coming to an end.†Bob said gravely.
“Fuck.†Said Fred in horror.
“Yeah, that’s what I said.†Bob replied.
“Is there anything we can do?†Angela asked hopefully.
“Not from down here, unless you can think of something we haven’t tried.†Bob responded.
“Excuse me am I interru..†Kelly was suddenly cut off mid sentence, as the ceiling caved in, and the underside of a shuttle landed on her and the guards.
“Oh my god, they killed Kelly!†Fred shouted.
“You bastard!†Bob yelled at the shuttle.
The door slid open, and Ringo stood there beckoning them in.
“Hurry up we haven’t much time!†He yelled.
“No shit, did you have to land on those people?†Bob said angrily as he and the others jumped in the shuttle.
“They’ll be alright in a few minutes wont they?†Ringo asked, as he slammed the door shut behind them.
“Ok you got me there.†Bob replied, as the shuttle lurched back into the air, bits of the roof falling off around them.
Bob headed for the cockpit and saw it was Vlad piloting.
“How fast can you get us to the BMF?†He asked hopefully.
“Just a few minutes.†The Russian replied.
“Before the next loop or after?†Angela asked.
“Just after I think, but now your inside the shuttle shouldn’t you be ok?†Vlad countered.
“Only time will tell.†Bob said grimly.
The sky darkened around them, and the stars began to shine through the dark blue atmosphere, and then there in front of them, in all its 15 mile long glory was the BMF, with the shuttle perfectly lined up on the main hanger.
Bob looked down at the console.
“You’re slowing down.†He said anxiously.
“Well I kind of have to unless you want to hit the back of the hanger at 25,000 miles an hour!†Vlad said dryly.
Fred and Angela glanced at Bob nervously, this was going to be very close.

And then they were back in the corridor.
“FUCK IT!†Bob yelled at the top of his voice, starling Kelly and her men.
“We need the ship to be closer.†Angela said clinically.
“What if there are still versions of us on the shuttle?†Fred pointed out.
Bob nodded, then got out his communicator.
“Biotech, are we still on the shuttle, versions of us I mean, because we appeared back here again.â€
“No, you vanished off Vlad’s shuttle, I’ve sent him back out, and we’re bringing the BMF into the atmosphere.â€
“If getting us on the BMF stops the loop the damage to the facility and its people will be permanent, tell Vlad to avoid landing on the scientists next time.†Bob ordered, causing Kelly to look on in astonishment.
“What exactly is going on here?†She asked.
“Oh shut the fuck up!†Angela snapped at her.
“Shall we let them shoot us so we can hurry up to the next loop?†Fred asked curiously.
“Well we’re running out of loops, and if the universe does end then we should make the most of the time we have.†Angela pointed out.
“Universe coming to an end?†Kelly said in horror.
“Yeah, thanks to your fucking generator.†Fred replied.
“And our ship, don’t put all the blame on her.†Bob said resignedly.
“Do you really think the universe is going to end?†Fred asked sadly.
“Well it might just be the BMF that blows up, but if that happens there’s no guarantee the loops will end.†Bob replied.
“So either the universe ends, and even the afterlife wont exist, or we are stuck forever in the same five minutes, never growing older, never sleeping, unable to die, forced to listen to this daft bitch as us what’s going on every five minutes?†Fred asked in horror.
“That’s about the gist of it.†Bob replied.

The time loop started over, and almost instantly the shuttle came through the roof again.
This time in front of Kelly rather than on top of her.
“That’s more like it!†Bob said happily, as he ran through the bits of falling ceiling plaster.
The three of them piled into the shuttle, and it took off even as the door was closing.
Kelly looked up at the ascending ship in shock, and at the huge black shape in the sky blotting out the sun.
“No worries about getting there in five minute this time!†Fred said happily, as they looked at the BMF, so low it was pushing aside the clouds, friction with the atmosphere causing lightning to cascade around the surface.
It was only a few miles away, and stretching from horizon to horizon, so massive it was lessening the gravity of everyone underneath it, making the people on the surface feel lighter.
“We’re actually going to make it!†Angela said joyously as the hanger started to fill their window, and then they were inside the BMF, the shuttle skidding to a halt, having come in much faster than normal.
The three of them burst out of the shuttle, Fred even dropped to his knees and kissed the deck.
Bob looked out of the hanger as the horizon started to angle away, the BMF was climbing at a steep angle, but the internal gravity always kept them upright.
“Lets get to the bridge.†Bob ordered.
Fred looked at his watch. “Think we’ll make it up there?â€
“We’ll if we cant beat the loop here we cant beat it anywhere.†Angela replied.
The three of them ran for the nearest lift, with Vlad and Ringo not far behind.
As they got there, Bob glanced at his watch and smiled, Fred and Angela glanced at there’s too.
“We’ve done it! We’re into our sixth minute!†He yelled triumphantly.
The three of them group hugged and jumped up and down excitedly, as the lift doors opened.

A few glorious minutes later they were on the bridge, where everyone looked pleased to see them, but not overly happy overall.
“What’s wrong?†Bob asked warily, “Don’t tell me there’s another copy of the three of us back on the planet?â€
“No, the good news is you’re free of the loop, and not on the planet, the bad news is, the damage repaired itself, and the loop is still on, we have 16 more loops to doomsday.†Biotech explained.
Bob looked at Glunark, although the Jugjhool's face was normally hard to read, he could tell the lizard has something on his mind.
“Your thoughts commander?†Bob asked him.
“Well its possible that with you out of the loop, all that happened was that time has reset and will now carry on as normal, if however there is a loop, its my opinion that the only way to end this is to destroy the generator at the start of the loop.†Glunark explained pessimistically.
Bob looked towards Biotech, then Lotta and Misha, the twins nodded back at him, and his mind link let him know that Biotech agreed.
“We would have to fire before the start of the loop so that it was destroyed as soon as the next loop started.†Biotech informed the rest of them.
Bob looked towards the viewscreen, and the planet falling away beneath them.
“But we need to wait to see if the loop is still repeating first, and if it is, then we have to wait almost to the end of the next loop, that puts us on 14 remaining loops if this doesn’t work.†Bob said anxiously.
“Well then lets hope it does work because if it doesn’t the options get worse from there.†Glunark said grimly.
Bob strode over to his chair, he sat in the centre seat, it was normally a very comfortable chair, but it might as well have been a cactus for all the comfort he felt sitting there with the weight of the universe on his shoulders.
“Time to the loop?†He asked tersely.
“One minute captain.†Lotta announced.
Bob pressed a button on the side of his chair.
“Tina, how’s Sophie?†he asked the babysitter.
“She’s doing fine captain, do you want to talk to her?†Replied the jovial Scottish accent, over the top of it could be heard Bob’s daughter shouting “Daddy, daddy!â€
Angela reacted to the voice too, her breath catching in her throat.
“I’ll be off duty soon Sophie, me and your mum will be down to spend some time with you, but we just have some important things to do on the bridge first.†Bob said gently.
“OK daddy, me see you soon, love you!†Sophie said breathlessly.
A tear welled up in the corner of Bob’s eye, and there were a few among the bridge crew in a similar condition.
“Love you too sweetie.†Bob said, before closing the link.
“Angela, go down and be with her, if we haven’t fixed this thing by the 6th loop then I’m coming down to join you. Anyone object to me spending the last half hour of my life with my wife and little girl?†Bob asked looking around the bridge.
No-one said anything, not even Glunark.
As she headed for the door, Angela turned round, “You’ll find a way out, you always do.†She said confidently.
“Thanks babe.†Bob said, giving his wife a confident smile, that was more for show than any real sense of being able to beat this thing.
Then Angela left the bridge.
“Well I guess that minutes long gone, I don’t suppose things are back to normal on the planet?†Bob asked hopefully.
“No we’re on the 15th loop to the end, I’ve created a firing solution that will minimise casualties in the building that houses the generator.†Biotech explained grimly.
“What do you define as minimal?†Bob asked tentatively.
“14 people will be caught in the blast, any other possible angle will result in more people being killed.†Biotech explained.
“OK, well I guess we don’t have a lot of time to debate this, and you’re the only one who can time the blast to this level of precision, so take the weapons console and fire at will.†Bob ordered grimly.
Fred got out of his seat, glad not to be the one to fire on the planet.
Glunark walked over to Bob’s seat.
“I know this is hard for you, but its 14 people against the whole universe.†He said conciliatory.
“Yeah, but its tough on the 14 and their families.†Bob replied, remember full well the notification when he found out his father was dead.
“Ten seconds.†Misha warned, the concern in her Scandinavian voice obvious.
“You know the worst thing? I want those people to die so this damn thing is finally over.†Bob said grimly.
Glunark nodded in agreement, not saying anything.
Then there was a high pitched hum as a secondary laser cannon blasted a yellow swathe of destruction towards the planet.

It scythed through the building housing the generator blowing off tiles and masonry, before a fraction of a second later it all got fixed then exploded again.
When the beam cut out there was a hole all the way through the building, and a crater to the side of it in the ground.
People were screamin and blood was dripping from bodies severed by the beam.
Alarms started to sound in the building, the scientists still alive, ran in shock to their communications systems, and those that still worked connected them through to the military.
The unprovoked attack from the BMF would not go unpunished, even if the planets defences were puny compared to the power of the huge ship in orbit.
Lasers stabbed up into the sky, missiles launched both from the surface and from satellites in orbit, and crews scrambled to fighters.

“They are throwing everything they have at us, and they have contacted the council, they are saying we have declared war against them.†Ringo announced sadly, as the thump thump of lasers hitting the shields reverted around them.
“Move out of range and cloak, I’m not going to take any more of their lives defending the ship.†Bob ordered sadly.

The BMF flew out of the way of the lasers, missiles flying through the space it had just vacated, as it travelled it shimmered out of sight, and took up position, invisible, but still facing the planet.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
“So if this doesn’t work what was the next idea?” Bob asked pessimistically.
Glunark took a deep breath.
“If taking out the generator doesn’t stop the next loop from happening, then the next idea would be to destroy the entire planet.” The Jugjhool explained.
“Fuck that!” Fred said angrily.
“It was bad enough when it was 14, I’m not going to kill 3 billion!” Bob added.
“The omicron particles have spread to the entire planet by now, this maybe the only way if the loop hasn’t already ended.” Biotech explained, not very happily.
“This is a war crime, the universe wont understand!” Bob replied.
“The universe will understand, because if we don’t do this the universe wont even exist.” Glunark pointed out.
“But they will only have our word for it, how will they know we didn’t fake our logs and scans just to cover for us blowing up a planet?” Bob asked.
“Captain, the planet has entered the 13th to last loop, and the building and generator are back.” Lotta announced calmly, but with an air of doom.
“We don’t have a lot of time to debate, if you don’t order the use of the main weapon, then go to your daughter now, and I’ll do it.” Glunark said firmly.
“It wont work.” Bob said simply, “Destroying the planet isn’t going to work any more than destroying the generator, as its takes a few picaseconds to destroy the generator after it pops back into existence, and that’s long enough to start the next loop again.”
“You have a better idea?” Glunark asked testily.
For some reason the plates with the cake popped into Bob’s head.
“Holly shit! That’s it!” He yelled, actually jumping out of his chair.
“We need to make a cube of super dense material, big enough to totally fill the gap where the generator stands!” Bob ordered enthusiastically.
“But there isn’t a gap at the moment.” Glunark pointed out.
Bob ran to a store unit at the side of the bridge and pulled out a blaster.
“There will be in a minute, beam me down to the generator room.” He ordered, a glint in his eye, the like that hadn’t been seen in a long time.
“This is stupid, if you get caught in another loop…” Glunark protested.
But biotech had already initiated the beaming.

Bob appeared in the generator room, Kelly and the guards reacted in shock.
“Captain Jones we expected you a few minutes ago, and at the designated beamdown spot!” She said in alarm, noticing the gun.
“Life is full of surprises sweetheart!” Bob said, firing a wide beam stun shot that felled her and her guards.
Even as they dropped to the floor, he was resetting the gun to disintegrate, then turned on the generator.
A few cubic meters of metal and plastic had caused the universe to almost come to an end, and if this didn’t work, still might.
He fired, and the generator glowed, then shimmered out of existence.
Bob didn’t even bother holstering his gun, he just threw it to the floor, and had his communicator half way to his mouth before it hit the ground.
“There’s your gap, now where’s my block?” He asked impatiently.
“One block coming up, and we’ve attached some anti gravs so it doesn’t smash through the floor.” Biotech explained.
“Sweet.” Bob replied, as a large silver cube appeared in front of him where the generator used to be.
The block, like the plates and the cake, would survive into the next loop, and if his theory was right, then there would be no picasecond of existence for the generator, there would simply be nowhere for it to pop back into existence in.

Suddenly the bodies of Kelly and her guards were gone, but the gun and the block remained.
“We are in the 12th loop captain.” Biotech explained over the communicator.
“Well keep your fingers crossed, in fact order the entire crew to cross their fingers, it never hurts to have a million people wishing you luck.” Bob said, closing the link.
He looked at his watch, it had reset itself to local time, meaning he was not long after one again.
The door opened, and the guards burst in, having heard the talking in the lab, they looked at him, and then noticed the huge block of metal.
Then Kelly rushed in behind them.
“My god Jones what have you done to the generator!” She said in horror, looking at her work ruined.
Bob looked at his watch. “Well I’ve either made a mess of your lab for nothing, or I’ve saved the universe, but we’ll know either way in four minutes.”
“What’s going to happen in four minutes?” Kelly asked impatiently.
“Well for the last few hours time has been stuck in a loop every five minutes, going back to the start.” Bob explained simply.
Kelly snorted derisively “Is that the best you can do?” She asked clearly not believing him.
“You never believe me when I tell you that doctor Kelly, but I can tell you, there’s some plates of half eaten cake out in the corridor, the tiles near the designated beam down spot will break if you stand on them, your not wearing a bra, and your sexually attracted to women.” Bob replied smiling.
Kelly and the guards looked shocked, then her shock turned to embarrassment, then anger in quick succession.
“I don’t know what type of game you are playing here…” Kelly started.
Bob cut her off mid stream.
“Call your radar operators, have them tell you how my ship jumped locations about four minutes ago, then you can run a scanner over those plates and the cake, and see if it matches the molecular frequency of my uniform, because if they match then it came from my ship, and your internal sensors wont show the cake beaming down, or me either for that matter, because it all happened in previous loops.”
Bob explained then glanced at his watch.
13:05:07, and counting.
A huge grin spread on his face.
“Its over, its finally over!” He said relieved.
“Its your career that’s over Jones, I’ll see you spend the rest of your life behind bars for this!” Kelly said still angry.
“Can I call my lawyer?” Bob asked hopefully.

An hour later, Bob was back on the bridge of the BMF, Glunark having successfully proved to the still dubious Kelly that Bob had in fact saved the planet and pretty much everyone else from destruction at the hands of her generator.
The doctor was suitably chastened, and promised to make safeguards when she starts to build her new generator.
The BMF broke orbit and with the planet well behind them, and the ship preparing for warp, Lotta and Misha the Swedish twins with the genius level IQ’s walked up to him, they were as beautiful as they were smart, but they looked a little unhappy.
“You two pouting because you didn’t figure out the solution yourselves?” Bob guessed.
They nodded.
“But captain..” Lotta started.
“..How did you figure it out?” Misha finished.
Bob smiled and thought back to those plates in the corridor.
“What can I say? It was a piece of cake.” He said dryly.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
I posted it in the writers forum, Sardy moved it here, I guess my stories arent welcome in the writters forum.
 

BitchSlapSmitty

New Member
Wow, a dialogue heavy story?!

I dig those.
 

The Question

Eternal
Eeee... I can't comment, really, because I'm not sure what you were aiming for with this, so I have no idea whether or not you hit it.
 

BitchSlapSmitty

New Member
One of my first comics was first flirted with in prose.

Only it was all in dialogue, mostly first person. I was studying Anne Rice's way w/ making Lestat the main character and the narrator at the same time. "Adapting a voice", so to speak.

Whiskey, was this your intent?
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
I think if you over describe an environment you rob the reader of the chance to imagine it themselves.

The main characterss arent described in detail beacuse this was never intended to be their first story.
 

PreatorX

New Member
I liked it simply because the idea was funny, the situations were funny, and I actually enjoyed reading it. I know you've created your own universe here, but I can tell it's influenced by Star Trek (and why not? Much of today's sci-fi is influenced by Star Trek.) I did like the stuff that you'd never find on Star Trek though, the swearing, very sexual situations, the captian having a wife and daughter.

I can certianly understand what everyone is saying about being dialogue heavy, but I don't mind it and I think it works well. Odd because I'm a huge fan of description myself.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
Well the prequal missions tend to be the opposite, more descriptions and less dialogue, but I'm not going to post more than one story a week, I dont want people to get tired of reading them, and I need to give more feedback to others before I can expect to get more feedback on mine.

Damn, I just started re-reading it myself, I cant beleive the spelling mistakes, stupid spellchecker might check if a word is spelled right, but it doesnt know if its the wrong word.

And I usually avoid doing the he said, she said thing, without adding on how they said it, I must have been in a rush when I wrote this.

Well it is a first draft after all, I might have a bash at polishing it at work on dinner time instead of playing games.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
Got chance to do the first few pages over tonight, is this an improvement, or does it ruin the pacing?

You can say that again

Book ? Chapter ?


"I hate these diplomatic missions." Bob complained as the BMF settled in orbit around Grahog Prime.
It was an unremarkable planet, looking like any number of the hundreds of planets he had seen in his travels, a few years ago to see other planets meant looking through a telescope, or looking at documentries on space probes, but now he was that used to seeing new worlds that they no longer held any sence of wonder to him.
The planet was mostly blue, with splatterings of green continents, with a light covering of white clouds, just like 50% of all habitable planets in the galaxy.
He didn’t know at what point space travel had become commonplace to him, but he imagined it was some point after his travels became forced, and not through choice.
Barely a year into his ten year community service, Bob already yearned for the freedom he used to enjoy before the galactic council imposed their sentence on him for his numerous violations of their laws.
Still things could have been a lot worse, and if he had to play diplomat now and again, he would do his best to grin and bear it.
"This one will be a piece of cake, we go in, we look at the omicron particle generator, we smile politely, and we leave! We'll be there less than an hour." Angela replied soothingly.
Bob was greatful for his wife’s words, even though he could occasionally read her thoughts, she needed no residual telepathy to read his, they so often thought alike as most married couples do.
"What exactly does the omicron generator do?" Fred asked tentativly.
"It works in a similar way to my own power source, drawing zero state energy from the atoms around the generator, it’s a power supply that should last forever." Biotech explained proudly, with his body made entirely of nanobots, and his zero point energy source, he would outlive them all, barring accidents.
"I thought most planets used cold fusion for all their energy needs." George asked curiously.
"Most do, but the Grahogians claim to have made the omicron particle generator 1000 times more efficient than a fusion generator of the same size." Biotech replied.
"You sound eager to see it, maybe you should go instead of me." Fred suggested hopefully.
"Oh no!" Bob said hurriedly, "I'm not having anyone scientific down there asking questions, keeping us there any longer than we have to be, its just you, me and Angela. We go in, we get out, quick and simple." He added firmly.
"They have transmitted transporter co-ordinates for the complex." Gino reported, glancing at his console. “You are expected at 1300hrs precisely.” He added, looking at his watch as he spoke.
Bob sighed.
"Come on then lets get this over with." He said resignedly.

The three of them beamed down at the end of a corridor.
To Angela matter dematerilisation transport was a way of life since long before she was born, for Bob and Fred, it was just something they had experienced for the last few years, but much like seeing new planets, quickly became old hat to them, been there, done that, got the t shirt.
The section they beamed into was tiled, and had warning labels about being a designated beamdown area, meaning that it was always kept empty, for fear of someone beaming into an area already occupied, which was usually fatal for both paries.
A cute woman in a lab coat came walking down the corridor to meat them, she looked late 20s to early 30s although it was always hard to tell with aliens, she was average height, and had a dencent amount of black hair, tied back in a ponytail, a couple of discreet security guards followed behind her, their weapons holstered, but within easy reach.
"Captain Jones, its such a pleasure to meet you. I'm doctor Kelly." She announced pleasently.
Bob and the others stepped off the beam in area, and as they did so, Angela stood on a tile that was on the edge and it broke, twisting her ankle slightly, Fred grabbed her arm as she stumbled.
"Sorry about the tiles, we spent so much money on the omicron particle generator, we had little left for decoration!" Kelly said apologetically.
"No harm done." Angela said graciously.
"This is my second officer and wife, Angela Jones, and my weapons officer Fred Smith." Bob introduced the others cordially.
"Weapons? The omicron particle generator isn’t a weapon, it can’t even overload!" The doctor said in alarm.
"Relax, he’s a life long friend, I invited him down as a special treat." Bob said smiling at Fred knowingly.
Fred put on his best fake smile, but his eyes told Bob he would hear about this later.
"Would you like to see it now? I'm very eager to turn it on." Kelly said pointing down the end of the corridor.
Fred looked at the doctors body admiringly.
He started to say something, and Bob elbowed him in the ribs, this wasn’t the time or the place for one of Fred’s leary comments.
"We'd be delighted to see it now." Bob replied diplomatically.
The six of them walked down the corridor, towards a room at the end where two more guards stood outside.
The door was nondescript, the corridor that branched off at a right angle to the one they were in held a dozen more just like it, a small plaque provided a room number, but nothing shouted out at them that a world shattering invention was behind it.
"Get ready to be amazed!" Kelly said proudly, as she opened the door.
They walked into the room, and in the centre was a silver globe, a meter in diameter, with various wires and tubes leading from it, and some flashing lights.
"Woo Hoo." Angela said with mock enthusiasm. The device looked like any other generator she’d ever seen.
"Ok its not much to look at, but just wait till you see how much power this thing can put out." Kelly said proudly, as she walked over to a switch on the wall.
"Would any of you like to do the honours?" She asked politely.
"We're just here to watch, it’s your planet and your machine, you should have all the honour." Bob replied trying not to sound bored.
"Thank you captain, now watch the power levels on this board as I throw this switch!" Kelly said enthusiastically, then she threw the switch, there was a hum as the generator kicked into life and then…

The three of them found themselves tingling slightly as they beamed into the corridor again.
"What the hell?" Fred said in shock, as they arrived back where they had started from five minutes earlier.
"Was this meant to happen?" Bob asked perplexed, as he looked up the corridor to see Dr Kelly arriving with the bodyguards.
"I don’t think so." Angela said, stepping off the tiles, and breaking one on the edge.
They all looked down, but there was only one broken tile.
"Captain Jones, it’s such a pleasure to meet you. I'm doctor.."
"Kelly, what’s going on here?" Bob asked angrily.
"I'm sorry, I don’t know what you mean? If its about the tiles.."
"Its not about the tiles its about beaming us back out here, then pretending we haven’t met." Angela replied accusingly.
Kelly looked at the guards curiously. "But we haven’t met." She countered.
"Yes we did, you showed us the generator and when you turned it on, we ended up back here!" Fred responded incredoulously.
"You beamed down from your ship only a few minutes ago, the generator hasn’t been turned on yet, we were waiting for your visit to do so, if this is some kind of joke I don’t get it." Kelly said disappointedly.
"I think the joke is on us." Bob replied grimly.
"Do you still want to see on the omicron particle generator?" Kelly said hopefully.
"Sure why the hell not." Bob replied sarcastically.
Warily Kelly lead them back up the corridor towards the generator room, they were almost at the door when
 

The Question

Eternal
Sardy took my answer on both counts -- I didn't want to say anything about the formatting, 'cause I think I would've come across as either a grammar nazi or a primadonna. But yes indeed, I think what you want to make of this is a script. Possibly feature film, or maybe (even more intriguingly) a radio show.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
Thanks, I was trying to redress the balance with the revision, but obviously I didnt do it enough.

The radio concept is interesting though, although I guess I would have to dump the swearing and sex, which I am rather attatched to.
 
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