Just a bit of venting. The book "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" talks about how no 2 motorcycles are alike because they take on the traits of their owner and houses are like this even moreso. They are really "living machines"; more than a shelter. You set them up for how you live. All the pointless clutter is exhausting. I'll attempt to outline the room I'm in--although I'll probably stop before I get halfway.
The desk I'm working on has a retro cat lamp--but just a bare bulb. No lampshade. Right of me is a manual typewriter. to the left is some kind of mechanical adding machine. There are 2 more mechanical adding machines in the room--big clockwork things with dozens of buttons and a big arm that you pull to...I dunno, run whatever you've punched in? I also had to move a large ceramic salad bowl full of seashells and a big metal tin for some kind of 1930s hand soap to make room for my laptop. To the left of the desk is a 1940s wood radio about the size of a jukebox. Left of that is a 3 shelf bookcase. Then the door. Oh, the bed is right of the desk. On the wall with the bed is a dresser. On the other wall next to the door is a large trunk with some kind of newspaper printing plates rack on it. Then a rocking chair and then a treadmill, which brings us to the last wall. After the treadmill is another rocking chair, then a vanity, then a 1990s 26" console TV and finally a telescope.
Above the bed is a built-in shelf of beer steins that runs to the ceiling. Then assorted framed and other wall things: A 2x6' iron Goodrich auto sign, an inscription of the Hippocratic Oath, a framed promotional beer sign, a picture of his daughter as a newborn, a framed burlap sack for Babe Ruth brand beans, and some kind of folk art Biblical allegory entitled "Jerusalem to Jericho" that is set up a bit like a snakes and ladders board with captions for the various scenes on it. Next wall has some kind of street scene oil painting and a birdhouse. Above the vanity mirror is another BF Goodrich sign. There would be more stuff, but this was once a "sleeping porch" above the 1 car garage, so most of the space is windows. The various previously described furniture is all filled with assorted memorabilia--a neon beer sign, more beer steins, another lamp (this one at least has a shade--although it isn't actually plugged in--neither is the TV), figurines, knick-knacks, and about a 2 gallon jar full of marbles. Oh, and a tea set. It's maybe nice stuff individually or reasonably curated, but it's just overwhelming as it is. The whole house is like this to one degree or another.
The reason for the screed is the kitchen. I am of the school that life is complex enough as it is without making it needlessly so. Take pizza. If I need calories for my face-hole, I'll heat up my $700 gas range to around 425 degrees, stick a frozen pizza in it, and in 15 minutes I'm ready to eat. Other day we had pizzas. We had to thaw the sausage, crust, and goat cheese. We had to fire up the $7,000 gas range and let it heat up to 350 degrees for an hour. Then we had to turn the heat up to 500 degrees for another hour. Meanwhile we're browning sausage in a cast iron skillet, chopping green peppers and spooning out organic kalamata olives. Eventually we get to eat. And then I get to clean up the kitchen. I got that done--while keeping my dog exercised and taking care of my friend's hip rehab etc. Just in time for taco night, which was even messier. And it's like...oh, we got a roast going in the crock pot before dinner. He wanted to brown the meat before putting it in the pot. So we dirtied the skillet I'd just cleaned. Then when it was time to make taco meat he wanted the skillet cleaned again before we could brown more beef in it.
After dinner it was time to get him settled in. We had to get him up the stairs and move all his stuff (raised chair, backpack, reachin' stick, iPad, etc) upstairs. He had to take his meds. Then he had to do his exercises. Meanwhile I've found a water glass that needs to go in the sink because he uses a dishwasher since every square inch of his kitchen is crammed with crap and we've already filled the dishwasher just making 2 meals. And he needs a glass of milk to help keep the meds down (that reminds me, I forgot the glass on his nightstand). Then he wanted to watch something on the TV.
So. Streaming. I don't do it. I've got an antenna in the attic and I watch the local stations. I've got Peacock free to watch nuBSG on my laptop. My friend is mostly streaming. And he wants to watch something. So he's farting around with his giant Captain Kirk monitor (oh, and the whole house is wired up with Google watching over him) in his bedroom to get something up and Paramount+ comes up and I go "Oh! 'Strange New Worlds'! I really want to watch that." To which he replies "I've also got Disney+. Have you watched 'The Obi-Wan Kenobi Show'?" "No. I'm really not interested in it either." I'm trying not to say I'm pretty much done with Disney in an effort to be diplomatic so we wind up watching the first episode of "The Book of Boba Fett." Which doesn't completely suck, but it is also pretty stupid and pointless and given that I explicitly said I wanted to watch "Strange New Worlds" rubs me the wrong way. But he wanted to do it. And I'm here for him so...
But eventually The Dog starts getting restless. And I still need to get cleaned up for the night. Oh, and the thing crashed 2/3 of the way through. So then we've got to turn it back on, navigate the menus, log back in, and (thankfully) it remembered where we left off so I didn't have to watch it all again--or wait around while he got to where we were.
And like I say, the guy makes things needlessly complicated. If he's refinishing a hardwood floor he can't just hit it with a stain and/or linseed oil and finish with a couple coats of polyurethane, he's got to find some shitty period accurate locally sourced free range gluten free finish and then do a wax finish on that that will need to be rewaxed ever few years. When he was redoing his daughter's room he was going to paint the walls before the ceiling. I told him you paint the ceiling first, then walls, then finish the floor. He said he wanted to do the walls first. Then he gets back to me about how the dropcloths he has taped to the walls keep falling down and I'm like "Really? So if you'd painted the ceiling before painting the walls, you'd have needed to tape a dropcloth over the ceiling to keep the paint from the walls from dripping on it?" And he's always got to use some fucking historical milk paint (or get an esoteric $7,000 stove) or something instead of just going down to Home Depot and getting something that is cheap, simple, works, and will last forever. Shit, I refurbished a cheap shitty Wal*Mart pressed wood with fake woodgrain stickers on it dresser that I found on the curb. Some minor structural repairs, new hardware, and a coat of some spare interior paint I had laying around. Then I took some wood stain on a rag and added it over the paint to get a look akin to some expensive difficult to source milk paint.
I mean, yeah, if you've got literally more money and time than you know what to do with, go nuts. Fart around with needlessly complex and expensive things. But if you're like the rest of us, keep it simple so you have more time and money to use to make enough time and money that you don't know what to do with it. OK. Bedtime.
