"You gonna get another job?"...
- Thread starter Volpone
- Start date
Loktar
Pinata Whacker
Stick it in your crotch for comfort. Always a laugh to hear about someone accidentally shooting their dick off.Weight isn't an issue. Just the shape. Uncomfortable to wear. And since a pistol has to be a certain height for people to hold it and a certain length to allow gunpowder to expand, and a certain width to surround a decent diameter bullet, there isn't much you can do about size.
On an unrelated note, a few days ago the local news did about a 2 minute piece--complete with interviews--about why you shouldn't engage in "celebratory gunfire" on NYE. And at 11:25pm, I'm realizing no one paid attention.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Home cooking. Smell is almost as good as taste. Torn between being fat and poisoning myself with alcohol. I had a pretty robust dinner. But I also had a lot to drink while watching Star Trek 3. So I got out the smallest potato I had and ran it through the cheese grater. Then I squeezed some water out of it with paper towels before throwing it in a 7" cast iron skillet on high heat. Poured in some olive oils and chopped up some onion to add to it. While that was cooking I grated up some cheddar and cracked 3 eggs into a bowl with some milk. Mixed up the eggs and milk, drained off some of the oil, and poured in the eggs. Finished with the cheese. Topped with salt, freshly ground pepper, and hot sauce. (With a tequila sunrise.) Not as awesome as I thought it would taste, but adequate. And the smell is amazing.
In other news, I'm in full OCD mode. The priority project is leak-proofing the tin shed. But we hit a spate of wet cold weather that precluded that. It eventually warmed up enough to work outside but not enough to patch leaks. Anyway it was too wet. So I got to work pulling weeds from the driveway. Two recent days have been beautiful for roof patching, but I'm so close to finishing weeding that I've bulled on at that. Well, "finished" is a bit strong word. I'm working on the approaches to the tin shed. There's a whole driveway that could use extensive weeding too. That's the trick to managing OCD tendencies: You've got to fit things in little boxes to keep yourself sane. The driveway is different from the approaches to the shed.
In other news, I'm in full OCD mode. The priority project is leak-proofing the tin shed. But we hit a spate of wet cold weather that precluded that. It eventually warmed up enough to work outside but not enough to patch leaks. Anyway it was too wet. So I got to work pulling weeds from the driveway. Two recent days have been beautiful for roof patching, but I'm so close to finishing weeding that I've bulled on at that. Well, "finished" is a bit strong word. I'm working on the approaches to the tin shed. There's a whole driveway that could use extensive weeding too. That's the trick to managing OCD tendencies: You've got to fit things in little boxes to keep yourself sane. The driveway is different from the approaches to the shed.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
I shouldn't say until it happens. 5 years ago I didn't think I'd be getting another dog. But I think this will be my last dog. Because I like active, working breed dogs. And I'm just getting too old to be able to handle work required to keep that kind of dog sane. Physically and emotionally. Just got back from a 1 hour jog. Then had to calm her down because the FedEx guy and the mail guy both came by--and I had to go get the trash can from the street. It's always something and I never have any energy for myself and what I want to do. Now if you'll excuse me, someone is apparently about to murder us all. Or maybe read the electric meter.
jack
The Legendary Troll Kingdom
One of my dogs got run over and killed in my parking lot while I was walking it a few months ago. Died in my arms.
The other one is old, but still alive and kicking. He's good for about an hour a day outside, sniffing peeing and pooping. Deaf as a post but still a good dog.
After he passes we finally get to travel
No more new dogs until the travel bug is bitten.
The other one is old, but still alive and kicking. He's good for about an hour a day outside, sniffing peeing and pooping. Deaf as a post but still a good dog.
After he passes we finally get to travel
No more new dogs until the travel bug is bitten.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
OK. A quick "perception versus reality" (for lack of a better word) post: (Maybe "dreamers versus doers" would be even better.) My college friend has heard about and bought into the idea of me doing a video store in my basement. And he wants to help. So he's finding me videotapes and going-out-of-business Shopko auctions--11 hours drive away. Videotapes are getting harder and harder to find, but truth be told, I have no problem with having a lot of DVDs and those are still pretty easy to get (for now). I don't need to ship them in from 3 states away. Or store furniture. Not like Shopko is going to have proper video store racks anyway. And you can build them or modify bookcases much more cheaply than shipping costs. Today he sent me a Blockbuster tape rewinder. Cool gift. But if it weren't a gift it would be a waste of money. If you walked into a video store, the place certainly had a tape rewinder. But it probably wasn't out where you could see it (kind defeats the whole "$5 rewind fee" sign). And it certainly wasn't a main feature of the store. You can make a perfectly convincing mock-up of a video store without having a tape rewinder. It surprises me, how many people miss this kind of thing: ...how to say it? Illusion doesn't have to be realistic. You could make something that looks like a video store with very few of the things an actual video store would have--and you can make a lot of things look accurate to a video store without having to have the actual things.
It was an interesting experience in building an A-Team van, how many people that are old enough to remember the A-Team absolutely DO NOT remember what the A-Team van looked like. People who swore it was a Ford. (IIRC they did paint up a junked Ford with no engine for a jump stunt once.) Or tell you it would be perfect if it just had the little round window. (The A-Team van did NOT have a little round window.) Or make suggestions on how to do the light bar. (There was no light bar. The roof lights were mounted directly to the external sun shade.) So a video store museum does not have to be particularly accurate to fool the average human. Because we don't actually remember that much how a video store looked. We kind of took for granted that they'd always be around. So if you get it close, the mind fills in the blanks and thinks it's perfect. As long as you don't do anything too wrong.
It was an interesting experience in building an A-Team van, how many people that are old enough to remember the A-Team absolutely DO NOT remember what the A-Team van looked like. People who swore it was a Ford. (IIRC they did paint up a junked Ford with no engine for a jump stunt once.) Or tell you it would be perfect if it just had the little round window. (The A-Team van did NOT have a little round window.) Or make suggestions on how to do the light bar. (There was no light bar. The roof lights were mounted directly to the external sun shade.) So a video store museum does not have to be particularly accurate to fool the average human. Because we don't actually remember that much how a video store looked. We kind of took for granted that they'd always be around. So if you get it close, the mind fills in the blanks and thinks it's perfect. As long as you don't do anything too wrong.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Tired today. (This is going to go all over the place.) A few nights ago I was thinking on my life and when my plans went sideways. And there are two different answers. On the one hand, it's like an episode of "How I Met Your Mother," where Ted misses a flight to Chicago for a big interview with an architecture firm and they keep going farther and farther back to what caused him to miss the flight. I could say it was when my space planning job went to crap and it was time to leave Oregon. But it could actually be when I got laid off from the IT support contract for a big construction company. Or when I got my MBA--and there were no jobs in Portland because that's the way Portland is--and has been since at least the 1990s. Or when I left the Marines to move to do IT in the private sector. Or when my paintball business didn't get the zoning it needed. Or when I didn't get promoted to management at the warehouse where I was a clerk. Or when I broke my leg at OCS the first time I did the Marines. Or when I couldn't break into theater stagehand work or sell any freelance illustrations. (I'm not even going to go into about 3-4 false starts back in the Portland era.) Or when I settled for the school my Mom went to because I didn't know any better and no one told me it wasn't normal to get dozens and dozens of offers from every college you showed interest in. Or when I got an art degree with a theater minor instead of a science degree. We could walk it all back to when I was a teenager. OR...everything is working out, it just hasn't *worked out* yet. I'm 2/3 of the way to having the rental properties I want. I'm maybe 1/3 of the way to having the storage rental income I want.
So. About that. I've got 4 parking spaces. One kid rented 2 of them to restore a car. He's been great. Eventually another kid wanted a spot to work on window tinting. Saw the space and asked if he could rent both the available spots so I let him book them. He came in a few days later and tinted the back window of his car and that's the last I've heard from him. No payments, nothing. So not only did he stiff me for what he agreed to pay, he cost me for over a month that I could've rented out to someone else. And on top of that, he tied up 2 spots for over a month when it's pretty clear he only needed a spot for an afternoon to work on his car.
Huh. I thought there was a lot more than that. I guess life isn't so bad after all. (Of course I still haven't gotten my December statement from my property management company. One of my renters was late in November so I may find out I got half the rent I should've for December (although I'd think they'd have given me an heads up if that was the case). )
So. About that. I've got 4 parking spaces. One kid rented 2 of them to restore a car. He's been great. Eventually another kid wanted a spot to work on window tinting. Saw the space and asked if he could rent both the available spots so I let him book them. He came in a few days later and tinted the back window of his car and that's the last I've heard from him. No payments, nothing. So not only did he stiff me for what he agreed to pay, he cost me for over a month that I could've rented out to someone else. And on top of that, he tied up 2 spots for over a month when it's pretty clear he only needed a spot for an afternoon to work on his car.
Huh. I thought there was a lot more than that. I guess life isn't so bad after all. (Of course I still haven't gotten my December statement from my property management company. One of my renters was late in November so I may find out I got half the rent I should've for December (although I'd think they'd have given me an heads up if that was the case). )
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
OK. I remembered the other thing. This is just me being snarky. I've mentioned here that I plan to turn my basement into a replica of a late 20th century independent video store. Somehow this has lodged in my friend's brain (the accounting guy I got roped into working for and who I stayed with while he was recovering from hip replacement) that I'm making a Blockbuster Video. So now he sends me Blockbuster Video crap.
...
OK. First off, how do you make that kind of a mental leap? Blockbuster Video is pretty much the opposite of an independent video store. It's like if someone said "I'm going to open a hip little coffee shop" and their friend was like "Oh, cool. Here's a bunch of stuff with the Starbuck's logo all over it."
I already mentioned the video rewinder. That, while kind of pointless for what I'm doing at least makes some kind of sense. But yesterday he sent me...I don't even know what it is or is supposed to be. It's about a 3x5x1" yellow and blue plastic block in the shape of the Blockbuster logo that says "BE KIND, REWIND" on it. What the hell is it supposed to be? A coaster? A sign? It's stupid and utterly pointless. He texted me, asking if I got it and I was just like "Yup." Because honestly, I have no idea what to do with it, other than throw it right in the trash.
...
OK. First off, how do you make that kind of a mental leap? Blockbuster Video is pretty much the opposite of an independent video store. It's like if someone said "I'm going to open a hip little coffee shop" and their friend was like "Oh, cool. Here's a bunch of stuff with the Starbuck's logo all over it."
I already mentioned the video rewinder. That, while kind of pointless for what I'm doing at least makes some kind of sense. But yesterday he sent me...I don't even know what it is or is supposed to be. It's about a 3x5x1" yellow and blue plastic block in the shape of the Blockbuster logo that says "BE KIND, REWIND" on it. What the hell is it supposed to be? A coaster? A sign? It's stupid and utterly pointless. He texted me, asking if I got it and I was just like "Yup." Because honestly, I have no idea what to do with it, other than throw it right in the trash.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
The joys of a needy, clingy dog. And a cat. Time to get ready for the day and take The Dog for a walk. But I really need to trim my toenails. Unfortunately, for some reason, this rouses The Dog from her dozing on the couch and she decides she NEEDS to be petted. Eventually The Cat comes over to see what's going on too. That actually saved me, because The Cat still doesn't totally understand petting, so eventually he started getting rowdy. Then The Dog decided it would be better to play-fight with him. So I was able to trim my toenails before she came back for more petting. 25 minutes later, I have a wastebasket full of dog hair and I'm still in my jammies. But at least I managed to get my toenails trimmed.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
It will be interesting if it turns out that I've actually retired. Got my December statement from the property manager. Haven't opened it yet, but I got all my rent for December (it sits in an account with them 30 days). Anyway, the point is, the idea of being retired is then you'll have time for all those things you never had time for: volunteering, painting, theater, writing... Thus far, the vast majority of my retired(?) time is spent farting around with The Dog and The Cat, screwing around online, and playing solitaire. Throw in some puttering around on projects around the house, watching "Jeopardy!", the local news, and "Sell This House" reruns, and maybe practicing the ukulele a little and educational reading (OK, those last 2 are at least marginally on topic) and my days wind up pretty full. Well, I should get going. I've still got countertops that I should've cleaned Sunday and a doctor's appointment tomorrow that I need to figure out the details on--at minimum. I should also at least put together a list of things I should be doing the rest of the week as well.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Gonna be a long fucking day. Doctor's appointment downtown at 1pm. They sent me a text, telling me to download and set up an app to eCheck-in. I don't want to download an app. I don't want to eCheck-in. I want to go to the office I've been told to at the time I've been told to and have the person at the desk check me in. (I've apparently developed a gullet like a bird so now if I'm not careful while I'm eating and drink enough liquid, the pipe from my mouth to my stomach gets plugged up. I can still breathe, but I can't eat until I dislodge it.)
Stayed up later than I should've last night. Got up to use the bathroom this morning. Went back to bed and couldn't figure out what this telltale vibrating sound was. I'm on a fairly busy street. Was a window rattling? Wind? The refrigerator? Later find out it was the flush valve on the toilet. I think when a toilet starts to go, just get a new one. I tried fixing the one at my first rental and just wound up putting in a new one. I tried fixing this one and it's one thing after another. Oh, and The Cat likes to drink from the faucet, so last night I turned the bathroom sink on a trickle while watching a movie and forgot to turn it off for at least an hour.
Trying to get weeds to stop growing in my driveway and the tin roof on the shed to stop leaking. I need to fix the brush guard on the A-Team van (and an electrical short that recently developed--and the wiring for the alternator gauge. And...) It would be nice if I took the bike in to the mechanic I found here who seems to know his stuff and see if he can finally figure out the charging problem it has. Then there's the car. Power seat has a short that I should hunt down. AC doesn't work.
Web pages are slow and stupid. Airplanes are grounded due to a system glitch and the US Government wants to outlaw gas stoves. Like I said, these days I totally get why the machines in "The Matrix" based their "ant farm" on the late 1990s. I mean, they had to because that's when the movie was made, but if I had a choice between living then and now, I'd pick then.
Stayed up later than I should've last night. Got up to use the bathroom this morning. Went back to bed and couldn't figure out what this telltale vibrating sound was. I'm on a fairly busy street. Was a window rattling? Wind? The refrigerator? Later find out it was the flush valve on the toilet. I think when a toilet starts to go, just get a new one. I tried fixing the one at my first rental and just wound up putting in a new one. I tried fixing this one and it's one thing after another. Oh, and The Cat likes to drink from the faucet, so last night I turned the bathroom sink on a trickle while watching a movie and forgot to turn it off for at least an hour.
Trying to get weeds to stop growing in my driveway and the tin roof on the shed to stop leaking. I need to fix the brush guard on the A-Team van (and an electrical short that recently developed--and the wiring for the alternator gauge. And...) It would be nice if I took the bike in to the mechanic I found here who seems to know his stuff and see if he can finally figure out the charging problem it has. Then there's the car. Power seat has a short that I should hunt down. AC doesn't work.
Web pages are slow and stupid. Airplanes are grounded due to a system glitch and the US Government wants to outlaw gas stoves. Like I said, these days I totally get why the machines in "The Matrix" based their "ant farm" on the late 1990s. I mean, they had to because that's when the movie was made, but if I had a choice between living then and now, I'd pick then.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
If you've raised kids, my stresses and frustrations are probably small potatoes, but if you haven't, it's hard to imagine the time and energy I expend, keeping this dog and cat alive.
Last night something triggered The Dog to drag out one of her favorite toys and put it on the bed. So now if The Cat even comes near the bedroom, she growls at him. Surprisingly, sleep went fairly smoothly last night and they both were on the bed most of the night.
This morning, when I finally got out for The Dog's walk, I was running at least 30 minutes late. The Cat wanted to go Out too, which makes me a little nervous, because he'll venture out into the front yard, right up to the busy street we live on. So we head out for the walk and The Dog, of course, decides for some reason that he needs to (for the first time ever) stop and spend over a minute smelling the next door neighbor's mailbox. The whole time we're doing this, The Cat is watching us. Next, she wants to cross the street to the big empty block where she noses around for rabbits and other game. Something told me to keep looking over my shoulder and sure enough, there's The Cat, sitting right next to the neighbor's mailbox, looking at us. So I turned us around to head back to the house. Happily, The Cat turned around to fuck off in the neighbor's yard. Got back to the house (of course The Dog is protesting going home so soon the whole time) and The Cat was ready to go In so we could continue our walk.
Except. He's a cat. So he's retarded. He stands RIGHT IN FRONT of the door he wants to go in so that he has to move for me to open the door. Of course when I open the door, he immediately jumps off the porch and back into the yard.
OK. Fine. I get The Dog--still wearing her leash--into the house and she lays down at her place so that I can go Out to try to catch The Cat. You can't catch a cat. I almost got him once and then he was far enough back in the yard that I gave up. I took The Dog out the front door so The Cat wouldn't see us leave and now she didn't want to go to the vacant lot so we stayed out of The Cat's field of view. That cost me 11 minutes.
We finally got home. The Cat was waiting and stayed on the porch when me and The Dog went In. So I said "Fine, fuckhead. Live outside. I don't care," and closed and locked the door on him. Of course by the time I had my coat off and my keys hung up, he was sniffing at the corner of the door so he came right in when I opened it.
Then, after spending over an hour with The Dog, she came over and NEEDED to be petted while I was trying to type this. Luckily then The Cat came in and jumped up on the bed with her toy, so she had to go chase him off and lay down next to it so she could guard it. Now I'm starving, ready for a nap, and have accomplished nothing today.
Last night something triggered The Dog to drag out one of her favorite toys and put it on the bed. So now if The Cat even comes near the bedroom, she growls at him. Surprisingly, sleep went fairly smoothly last night and they both were on the bed most of the night.
This morning, when I finally got out for The Dog's walk, I was running at least 30 minutes late. The Cat wanted to go Out too, which makes me a little nervous, because he'll venture out into the front yard, right up to the busy street we live on. So we head out for the walk and The Dog, of course, decides for some reason that he needs to (for the first time ever) stop and spend over a minute smelling the next door neighbor's mailbox. The whole time we're doing this, The Cat is watching us. Next, she wants to cross the street to the big empty block where she noses around for rabbits and other game. Something told me to keep looking over my shoulder and sure enough, there's The Cat, sitting right next to the neighbor's mailbox, looking at us. So I turned us around to head back to the house. Happily, The Cat turned around to fuck off in the neighbor's yard. Got back to the house (of course The Dog is protesting going home so soon the whole time) and The Cat was ready to go In so we could continue our walk.
Except. He's a cat. So he's retarded. He stands RIGHT IN FRONT of the door he wants to go in so that he has to move for me to open the door. Of course when I open the door, he immediately jumps off the porch and back into the yard.
OK. Fine. I get The Dog--still wearing her leash--into the house and she lays down at her place so that I can go Out to try to catch The Cat. You can't catch a cat. I almost got him once and then he was far enough back in the yard that I gave up. I took The Dog out the front door so The Cat wouldn't see us leave and now she didn't want to go to the vacant lot so we stayed out of The Cat's field of view. That cost me 11 minutes.
We finally got home. The Cat was waiting and stayed on the porch when me and The Dog went In. So I said "Fine, fuckhead. Live outside. I don't care," and closed and locked the door on him. Of course by the time I had my coat off and my keys hung up, he was sniffing at the corner of the door so he came right in when I opened it.
Then, after spending over an hour with The Dog, she came over and NEEDED to be petted while I was trying to type this. Luckily then The Cat came in and jumped up on the bed with her toy, so she had to go chase him off and lay down next to it so she could guard it. Now I'm starving, ready for a nap, and have accomplished nothing today.
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Dog was being especially needy and clingy all day. Then when we got home from the evening walk The Cat wouldn't come In and The Dog decided something was trying to murder us all and needed to be held at bay by her walking around the house barking her head off every 3-4 minutes--FOR TWO HOURS STRAIGHT. Meanwhile I'm trying to use my freaking ANCIENT copy of QuickBooks to reconcile my business books with the report from my property management. As this was happening my exhausting friend called back (he first called when I was trying to finish my e-mails but The Dog needed to be petted for 20 minutes straight and missed me returning his call at a time that was convenient to me). The books aren't balancing and he isn't hanging up and the dog is still barking and the cat is still outside and dinner should've been started a half hour ago. Eventually I had to just wrap it all up--and settle for nuked mac & cheez leftovers while watching the last 20 minutes of "The Omega Glory" on H&I classic 'Trek. On the plus side, by this point I'd decided to just get completely hammered and right now, after only 1 cocktail I'm feeling pretty good. Of course I'm planning to have a second and it seems like there's no 2-3 cocktails--it's either 1 or 5.
Loktar
Pinata Whacker
Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Bleah. Monday. MLK Day. Should I just pretend I have the day off? Dog only wanted a 30 minute walk today. Got my weekend chores more or less taken care of. I'm supposed to put together a list of everything I want done so I can prioritize and budget for it. But, actually having time to do this, I don't feel like it. I hate accounting. You can make the numbers say whatever you want, depending on how you juggle them--even if you don't want them to say multiple things. Last week, considering my retirement(?) it looked like I was definitely making more than I was spending. I use one account to pay bills and with the last statement there was more money in it at the end of the month than at the start. So I decided to run some reports in my accounting software. Of course they somehow made it look like I made *less* money last month than I spent. To be fair, it doesn't have the entire picture, because I didn't transfer my entire income from my business account to my personal account, but still, frustrating that two sets of (relatively simple) numbers manage to tell different stories.