"You gonna get another job?"...

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Was going to vent on something but decided against it so instead, something more on topic (and actually venting too, when I think about it): I'm totally done with "greige." If you lived in a rental property in the late 20th century, you are intimately familiar with the shade of beige paint they seemed to use in virtually every rental. The idea is that it is neutral so it goes with any furniture and it hides dirt ok. And probably was fairly cheap. Maybe 5 years ago, people started using grey for a room color. I was intrigued by it. Done right, it can create a really striking effect. I planned to do the laundry room at the old place in it if I'd had the time and money. BUT...

I'm a member of the local real estate investors group. And they have a Facebook page. And apparently grey has replaced beige as THE rental property color. And not in a thoughtful, purposeful way. In a lowest common denominator way. Nobody ever picks a really nice grey. And they never make sure it works with the rest of the house. It's just "fuck it, paint it all grey."
 

Loktar

Pinata Whacker
Grey or beige sound better than white. My whole apartment is white except for the outside of the door which is black. If I didn't have pictures to hang on the wall and non white furniture, I think I would go crazy. Doesn't help that when I got new bed(courtesy of the 1st stimulus check), I bought white sheets and quilt for it.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Off topic. If you're just joining us, I have an A-Team van. It isn't 100% accurate, but it is better than about half the stunt vans they used on the show and 90% of the replicas out there. But I got it with a practical excuse. I needed something that could haul plywood and drywall and there's no way to fit either into a Ford Mustang. I got a van instead of a pickup because then I could use it for camping, hauling my motorcycle (I pray you never have to try to get a motorcycle into the bed of a pickup in any circumstance), and I could do it up like the A-Team van.

Because of the aforementioned hauling plywood and motorcycles reasons, I never put the far back bench seat in. Also because the spare tire is bolted to the wall behind the wheel well on the passenger side. They took it out for the show, since having a place for your spare tire isn't an issue on '80s television. BUT! I'm anal. So it kind of annoys me that I don't have the back row seat. But I'm cheap and even the most basic back row bench seat is shockingly expensive. BUT-BUT!...I realized that if I put the 2 stock seats side by side (they got ripped out for captains chairs) it would be *about* the size of a bench seat. I just needed some foam padding and an appropriately sized seat cover. And a base to mount the seat on.

And that's where I'm going with all this. Because on the show, the Team hid their Awesome Mini-14s in a locker under the back seat. I don't have any Awesome Mini-14s (yet), but I do have an AR-15 carbine. Technically, I have 2. But one is in the evidence locker of a suburban Chicago police department and I give myself about a 20% chance of ever seeing it again. You see, a little less than 2 years ago I was burglarized. Pros. I took my dog for a walk on a Sunday morning and in under 90 minutes they were in and got almost all my guns--and nothing else. Replaced the AR-15 with insurance money. Don't like it as well as the one that got stolen. Well in November, the local police called me to tell me the gun was recovered. So now--in the unlikely event The Government will give me my property back--I have TWO AR-15s. BUT-BUT-BUT!!!... Years ago I got into cosplay for "Stargate: SG-1" and in turn got into Airsoft. So, long story longer, I have a mid range (but not currently working) Airsoft AR-15. That makes three, count-em 3 AR-15 carbines to go in a weapons locker under the backseat of the A-Team van. AND!!!!

This gives me an excuse to get an A-Team style Awesome Mini-14. They just started making them again a few years ago. And if I have 3 AR-15s (I guess Murdock gets the fake Airsoft one) and the A-Team has 4 people, I need another gun. So while "3" AR-15 carbines and a Mini-14 is a bit...off, it is the fig leaf I can hang to give an excuse for buying a gun I don't need (but that would be amazingly cool).
 

The Question

Eternal
Grey or beige sound better than white. My whole apartment is white except for the outside of the door which is black. If I didn't have pictures to hang on the wall and non white furniture, I think I would go crazy. Doesn't help that when I got new bed(courtesy of the 1st stimulus check), I bought white sheets and quilt for it.

The house I'm renting was apparently last repainted in either the 1960s or 1970s. I'm told, though I haven't had the inclination to check, that what's in the living room is actually cheap wallpaper covering up some fairly nice wood paneling. Then someone painted the wallpaper -- I'm guessing this was done while whoever did it was some degree of high, but high on what, I couldn't guess. I'm going to do like Volpone did with "Greige" and coin a portmanteau to describe this color: "Grayn." Think "Greige", only with green in place of beige.

That's what has me thinking 1970s, because this atrocity of a color seemed to be used most often in that eye-abusing decade.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Speaking of X on top of Y on top of Z, the floors in the old part of the house are tantalizing. The roof looked like crap because apparently there were 5 layers of shingles on it. 3 is dangerous, 5 is crazy. The floors are uneven, wobbly, and ugly. First house I've bought that didn't have nice wood hiding under rugs. (Well, the rental had nice wood that was badly damaged in some spots--like where the refrigerator would go--so I had to put the laminate flooring back but I digress.) Bathroom had...I forget...3? layers of vinyl stick-on tile on a built-up plywood floor (because the floor sloped, so they had 2x2s that were cut to counter the slope that they nailed plywood to. Then there was another layer of...I think asphalt shingle under that. The bedroom I'm in right now had carpet over roll vinyl kitchen floor. Under that is plywood before you get to the original floor. Similar story in the other rooms. Living room has laminate laid over 1970s "loop" carpet. Thing is, when you go down in the basement and look up at the subfloor, it all looks pretty good and in nice shape. If I had the time and money, I'd start pulling up flooring. but that could be a bit of a crap shoot. Especially with the plywood. If it's nailed down, who knows if the wood underneath can be saved? Heck, if it's glued down the wood probably couldn't be saved either.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
I love reading your stories.
 

The Question

Eternal
Re-reading my last post, I got distracted/disgusted with describing the "Grayn" color; so much so that I neglected to get to the reason I suspect whoever did it was high. Other than that primary color, that is.

Because "Grayn" is just the primary color, y'see. It also looks like, at some point, someone had intended to paint over the "Grayn" with white, and was testing various shades of between white and off-white. Their testing apparently involved what I can only picture as them flicking white paint at the walls with a large spoon. Here and there, on pretty much every wall in the living room, there are irregularly-shaped splotches of white(-ish) paint ranging in sizes between tablespoon and dinner plate.

Now, if at some point I decide to start paying to buy this house, rather than just rent it, I'm also going to have to start financially planning to remodel it. Starting with a radiant heater for the upstairs room I aim to use as an office, because the insulation in this house is practically nonexistent, and I have no intention of freezing my balls off while working up there during the winter -- which I'd have to work up there while this living room is in a state of "ugly ass 1970s shag carpeting torn up / wallpaper being removed."
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
You know that thing from a few years back, where some scammer would create a duplicate profile of one of your Facebook friends and send you a friend request? Well a few days back I got a friend request from someone I was already friends with. Was all set to delete it and give the guy a heads-up that he might have been hacked--or at least some scammer was pretending to be him--but it turned out his existing profile was closed out. I contemplated PM'ing him to ask what was going on, but then I realized *he* should've had the common sense to PM *me*. Also, like so many real estate people, I like the guy, but he's kind of a chowderhead. Ironically, one of the biggest things I've learned from networking with real estate people is that 96% of them know less about what they're doing than I do. And the people who actually know what they're doing? Either they've got one thing that I've already learned and that they just keep recycling or they act like they don't know anything.

Again, I haven't had renters for a full year yet and I just added my second house last month, so any day now I could be like "I WAS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG!" But at the moment I probably break 90% of the "rules" (leverage is good, delegate duties to a team, you need about 10 houses to have a viable operation, etc)--and so far it works great for me.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
Looking back on that, I could be more clear. The people you want to learn from are the ones that act like they don't know anything. Although I guess that means I shouldn't be denigrating my peers, because the "don't know anything" guy I'm referring to would never call the FB guy a chowderhead. But yeah, he acts all humble and naive and the more you get to know him, the more you find out just how many different thing's he's doing and how much he's got going on. But yeah, if you talk to him, he's more likely to listen to you or talk about the time he decided to buy a Jeep or something. But he's got a mind like a steel trap. He understood something about what my investing strategy should be at least a year before I did.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
The...mind?...does unhealthy things and hangs on to things that the rational brain tells you to let go of. While my older dog had been showing some minor and worrisome signs that the end was getting closer, the fact that it happened so soon after moving is hard to let go. And while all the new bumps and lumps (which my mind also worries were caused by plants or some other irritant at the new place) are something else, the relatively steep steps she had to navigate up to the back deck (there were only 3-4 but she had an increasingly hard time dealing with them)...I tried cobbling together a ramp before she manifested major symptoms but she would have nothing to do with that, so I made time to make a tiered deck that would've been pretty easy for her to handle while we were trying to get her healthy, but she never recovered enough to use it. So now when I look at that deck I know: 1) It might not have made a difference and 2) Even if it would've, it is pointless to worry over. But I still can't help but pick at it in my brain.
 

Oerdin

Active Member
We repainted one last November and recapped. We ended up going with the standard off white slightly gray and the light brown carpet because 1) It was cheap and 2) It is pretty much standard. Also, as it was the first time the place had gotten a new renter in seven years it was about time plus that way we could honestly say everything had been redone before the renter moved in. I didn't like paying the cash but it is a cost of doing business.

Much worse was paying to redo both bathrooms where the renter had broken the bottom of the fiberglass in the shower/bath tub. Then she didn't bother to tell us the bottom was cracked for half a year.
 

Oerdin

Active Member
You know that thing from a few years back, where some scammer would create a duplicate profile of one of your Facebook friends and send you a friend request? Well a few days back I got a friend request from someone I was already friends with. Was all set to delete it and give the guy a heads-up that he might have been hacked--or at least some scammer was pretending to be him--but it turned out his existing profile was closed out. I contemplated PM'ing him to ask what was going on, but then I realized *he* should've had the common sense to PM *me*. Also, like so many real estate people, I like the guy, but he's kind of a chowderhead. Ironically, one of the biggest things I've learned from networking with real estate people is that 96% of them know less about what they're doing than I do. And the people who actually know what they're doing? Either they've got one thing that I've already learned and that they just keep recycling or they act like they don't know anything.

Again, I haven't had renters for a full year yet and I just added my second house last month, so any day now I could be like "I WAS COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY WRONG!" But at the moment I probably break 90% of the "rules" (leverage is good, delegate duties to a team, you need about 10 houses to have a viable operation, etc)--and so far it works great for me.

I try to avoid leverage because you never know when stuff like covid will happen. A lot of the over leveraged people got fucked when shit bag renters decided to stop paying not because they didn't have the money but because they knew they couldn't be evicted. Also, yes, it seems most s all landlords are all trying to figure stuff out on theor own and often times people will say "I already knew that" or think they could have figured it out on their own. Often that it true, but, it still pays to network and you never know what you were learn or find out.
 

Colonel Kira's Left Tit

Bearded Belly of Bajor
If we're talking about rentals I lived in a place with a couple of roommates when I was in college that had to have been designed and put together by monkeys. Yeah, it was cheap, around $500/month split three ways. But Jesus.

Two levels, right? Downstairs you walk into the living room, kitchen behind that, main bath and two bedrooms behind that. Staircase leads upstairs where there is another bedroom and half bath and a loft overlooking the living room below. In the living room there was a sliding glass door going out to the side yard. Not the patio, that was out back with no way to get to it without going around the house. The dining room consisted of a counter separating the kitchen from the living room, so we just put some bar stools there. My bedroom was directly outside the back patio but like I said there was no easy access aside from a prison like window. I didn't try that.

Now let's talk about the fireplace. It had one. Do you know where it was? At the top of the stairs, between the upper bedroom and the loft area. Just... right there. At the top of the stairs. I used the loft as a spare computer/TV/reading room, but you couldn't even see the fireplace from any sort of comfortable angle. And in the bedroom up there was a second toilet and sink, a half bathroom. Also in the bedroom upstairs? THE FUCKING LAUNDRY HOOKUPS. Ever try to cart a normal sized washer and dryer up a narrow flight of stairs only to find the laundry space to small to fit them in? We had to mount the washer sideways and smash out part of the wall to make everything fit. Also there were no windows in that bedroom, my roommate who stayed in there called it "The 2 o'clock Zone", because it was 2am every day until he said it wasn't. We did a lot of acid in there so it was handy.

The whole place smelled like cat piss, too. We ended up using the main hallway as a driving range, knocking golf balls through the wall. It turned out that under the stairway was a perfect place to stash a few kegs when we had a party. The neighbor was a dick and a half, he'd been living in a duplicate place next door for like 20 years and was always bitching at us. We had a hide-a-bed couch sofa in the living room, and one night I was making out with my then girlfriend on it with the music too loud and the sliding glass door open, and he wanders over and starts yelling at us through said door to keep it down, his kids have to go to school in the morning. Girlfriend yells back... "CAN YOU SPEAK UP WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD!" My roommate wandered down from his perch when he heard the racket and wandered over in his underwear to tell him to fuck off. When we eventually moved out I left my snazzy orange and red sun dress under his windshield wipers.
 

jack

The Legendary Troll Kingdom
Orange and red sun dress?
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
"That's why they pay you the Big Bucks."

This is a saying from the Marine Corps we had whenever there was a difficult or unpleasant decision that needed to be made. Your Marines could solve a great many things for you, but sometimes there would be something "above their pay-grade" (another saying) and it would fall to you to handle it. For me, one of the biggest failings a leader/manager can make is chickening out when it is time justify earning the "Big Bucks."

Once upon a time I had a technical marketing job. They make software that figures out how to arrange in-store displays. I got hired to use that software for our company's clients. I was working in the regional offices for one major chain (not completely national, but pretty darned large). But we had another national client that we were courting. A previous manager had landed their business with a bid where we would charge a flat rate for work instead of billing by the hour. His Plan was to automate tailoring displays to specific stores. So say you had 300 stores, you'd do a template display based on if they had 3' or 4' shelf segments and a few other things. Then you'd cook it through a macro that would churn out a display based on the overall shelf length and a few other things and you'd go back and do any needed fine-tuning.

Well the problem was, the client had all the product images and dimensions on a server we were supposed to link to instead of downloading and working with static data. And they kept changing the data. So just about the time I'd have everything nearly done, they'd flip the orientation of the files from "portrait" to "landscape" or just slightly change the box size and I'd have to start all over again, almost from scratch. Meanwhile, the manager for the other client would come by from time to time and wonder what I was working on because it sure didn't look like their stuff. (Or why I wasn't in the office, I forget. Initially they'd wanted me to do any of the other work from home or some other place.) Every time I needed to rework everything, the money we'd make on the deal would get smaller until I was pretty sure we were losing a decent amount of money on the deal (or more accurately my primary client was probably losing money because I was doing all this other work while they were billing him. After the...God knows how many times...they changed my data and I had to redo everything, I put my foot down in with my boss and said he had to talk to them and fix things one way or another.

Actually, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'd have been willing and able to have that conversation, but that wasn't what I was being paid for. When I interviewed for the job, my future boss pointed out that I was overqualified and asked what guarantee he had that I wouldn't leave for another job after they spent time and money training me. We talked a bit and I managed to reassure him and got the job. So imagine my surprise when I found out my compensation was on the lower end of the pay scale they'd listed for the position. So no. They were paying me to operate software to give the clients what they wanted. But if the client kept changing her mind and the contract we'd made meant there was no penalty for her and no compensation for us, that wasn't my conversation to have.

In case you haven't already guessed, my boss punted on having that conversation. So I got the job done. And what it cost was his problem. Later, when things changed to a point that the position was no longer viable and we talked about ways I could still stay with the company, he again wasn't willing to earn the "Big Bucks" so I wound up leaving the company. Leadership is a 2 way street. If you want people to follow you, you've got to take care of them. Sometimes that means making difficult or unpleasant decisions. And if you aren't willing to make them, before long you'll have lost any talented, qualified people with self-respect and will have to make do with whoever has no choice but to put up with you. Kind of Peter Principle, I guess--you wind up with the kind of people your leadership ability deserves.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
I sometimes forget what a surreal and unhealthy place Portland, Oregon was. Luckily, I have The Internet. Got an e-mail on an old address from some random headhunter in Portland, telling me based on my skill and experience, he could get me a job paying $15-20 an hour. Now I have an MBA. And I was a Major in the Marine Corps who planned and operated communications for an 800 person organization in a desert during a war. My last gig that actually used my "skill and experience" paid something like $55 an hour. So I thanked the guy but told him that apart from the commute from Kentucky being a bit of a challenge, I could make $15-20 an hour in Kentucky with NO skill or experience, so I would have to pass on his generous offer.

I mean, no kiddin', Out in Portland you've got aerospace engineers waiting tables at Outback. It's just a very bizarre place.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
A quick break to decompress.

So I'm renovating the house I'm living in. There are some things that had to happen in order for me to be able to move in. I had to have a working bathroom, for example. And that was an Odyssey. Because the bathroom was tiny for no good reason. And not well set up. And badly plumbed. So there was some work involved. See, it's an old house and was probably built without a bathroom. Then the bathroom got tacked on next to the kitchen; a kind of lean-to affair. Penthouse, if you want to use the archaic form of the word. And it was designed around toilet, sink, and clawfoot tub. So it was too small for a standard tub and had a low ceiling to boot.

Then, when they added more house around it, instead of ripping out the old framing and redoing it, they just built around it. So the ceiling was still low enough to accommodate the sloping roof of the old structure. And since the floor also happened to be sloping, they cut some 2x2 strips on a wedge to level the floor. Of course raising the floor made the ceiling even lower. Luckily, this meant none of the interior framing was structural so it could be ripped out. They also did add a weird jog to the wall to allow a standard length tub, but found this odd narrow little tub that fit in the width of the old bathroom. So pretty much the entire bathroom wound up gutted. The wall sharing the back of the old house, I was able to leave. Probably should've put fresh drywall on it, but I decided not to. Oh, and because this was a makeshift, retrofitted bathroom, the pipes ran outside the wall with a clunky hollow baseboard constructed around them.

Well I was able to fix a lot of this. After ripping out about half of the interior framing the room was able to fit a standard sized tub. I decided the floor could have a little slope to it but did put down mortar a bit thicker as I was laying down the Hardibacker and tile. Redid all the plumbing in the miserable crawlspace under the bathroom. And between the tile floor and wainscot on the walls, I was able to tuck the plumbing behind a normal baseboard (I did have to router it out in a few spots). Then, because the back wall is shared with the basement stairwell I was able to cut a hole above the toilet to install a counter base cabinet so half of it is hanging out over the stairwell (it is high enough up that you can't bang your head on it) to allow a decent sized linen closet. Again, since the walls weren't load bearing and the studs on the back wall had likely rotted, they were cut off a few inches above the...sole plate? They didn't go all the way down. This allowed me to get the pipes tucked back into that wall and then I cobbled together braces for most of the studs so they went all the way down. (We'll get back to that later, as the reason for this post.) Replaced the vanity sink with a pedestal sink because otherwise the space looked too cramped and replaced the hanging mirror with a medicine cabinet to make up for some of the storage lost by the sink (the linen cabinet more than made up for the rest). Tile the tub surround, slap up the new drywall, followed by the aforementioned wainscoting, stick a narrower door on so the bathroom door can actually open in instead of out, like it had been, and get the sink and toilet back in. Paint the walls and call it good.

But drywalling isn't my forte. So along with having to do some caulking and painting the trim, I'm really should go in and touch up the drywall tape plastering. And repaint, of course. I might just ignore it, except there's one spot where I have a horizontal join between the medicine cabinet and the linen cabinet, where the stud just happens to stop above the seam--and is maybe 1/4" back from where it should be. I tried sinking a screw through the bottom drywall to catch it and pull it tight--and then slapping enough plaster on to strengthen and hide the transition but it didn't work. So that's going to force me to be honest and go back, touch up the plaster work and repaint. Also, I turned out to be wrong on the best way to have the door open for the medicine cabinet. Since this was (hopefully) a relatively simple project, it is raining out right now, and I wasn't quite ready to start my day, I decided to just git 'er dun.

Now the medicine cabinet, the door isn't set up to be moved. You just flip the cabinet over to have the door open from the other side. So that was going to give me access to fixing my framing problem (the cabinet is partly recessed. Wouldn't do that again going forward, but it actually helped out for this.) This is a simple matter of zapping out 4 screws. Except the screwgun wasn't where it belonged. Turned out I'd brought it out to the garage to do some roof repairs. So I'm out in the backyard in the rain like Arthur Dent, in jammies, bathrobe, and slippers. Got everything apart. Figured out how to pull the bottom of the stud forward so the drywall would be flush (it involved screwing it to the linen cabinet and adding some duct tape in the back). Then it was time to retape and plaster the seam. Or it would be, once I figured out where I'd put my putty knives. Found them, got it all done, got all my toothpaste and deodorant and stuff back in the medicine cabinet, and now that I've vented sufficiently, it is time to tackle the day.

Oh, I also addressed the sink. It's supposed to be lag-bolted to the wall, atop its pedestal, but I didn't do that right so the best I could manage was drywall screws, which weren't large enough or wide enough to keep things from wobbling (if I'd had some proper sized washers I might've been able to make them work, but I didn't. So while I was doing plastering, I went ahead and packed spackle in around one of the screws. (I'd have done both but they're a pain in the butt to get at.) Amazingly, it seems to be working pretty well, so I guess I should tackle the other side too.
 

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
HOORAY! It's not just S&M.

The homestead has/had about a minivan sized pile of bamboo stalks in the yard. It's down to a convertible coupe with the top down worth, after 3-4 days of trimming off shoots with the machete. See, bamboo takes up more space with all the shoots and leaves on it. Once I trimmed that down and got rid of the bad and split stalks I'd pretty much filled up a garage, with a nice big pile of rejected material next to it.

Well I kept trimming off these 3-5' stalks; narrow like a...not a pencil. Say a magic marker. Or somewhere in between. But the only use I could think of for them was to hawk them to perverts on Etsy to beat asses with. Only They say you shouldn't use bamboo for caning because it can splinter and such.

Bullshit. Maybe I'm just too old, but I remember fishing with an Andy Griffith Bamboo fishin' pole. And that fucker is still probably in my parents' garage and probably just as good as when I was 7. You just need to treat the fiber properly.

But that's neither here nor there. The point is...I forget what made me think of it, but the window shadows in "Casablanca." I can fashion blinds out of these bamboo stalks. No need to sell them to sadomashochists.
 

Oerdin

Active Member
If we're talking about rentals I lived in a place with a couple of roommates when I was in college that had to have been designed and put together by monkeys. Yeah, it was cheap, around $500/month split three ways. But Jesus.

Two levels, right? Downstairs you walk into the living room, kitchen behind that, main bath and two bedrooms behind that. Staircase leads upstairs where there is another bedroom and half bath and a loft overlooking the living room below. In the living room there was a sliding glass door going out to the side yard. Not the patio, that was out back with no way to get to it without going around the house. The dining room consisted of a counter separating the kitchen from the living room, so we just put some bar stools there. My bedroom was directly outside the back patio but like I said there was no easy access aside from a prison like window. I didn't try that.

Now let's talk about the fireplace. It had one. Do you know where it was? At the top of the stairs, between the upper bedroom and the loft area. Just... right there. At the top of the stairs. I used the loft as a spare computer/TV/reading room, but you couldn't even see the fireplace from any sort of comfortable angle. And in the bedroom up there was a second toilet and sink, a half bathroom. Also in the bedroom upstairs? THE FUCKING LAUNDRY HOOKUPS. Ever try to cart a normal sized washer and dryer up a narrow flight of stairs only to find the laundry space to small to fit them in? We had to mount the washer sideways and smash out part of the wall to make everything fit. Also there were no windows in that bedroom, my roommate who stayed in there called it "The 2 o'clock Zone", because it was 2am every day until he said it wasn't. We did a lot of acid in there so it was handy.

The whole place smelled like cat piss, too. We ended up using the main hallway as a driving range, knocking golf balls through the wall. It turned out that under the stairway was a perfect place to stash a few kegs when we had a party. The neighbor was a dick and a half, he'd been living in a duplicate place next door for like 20 years and was always bitching at us. We had a hide-a-bed couch sofa in the living room, and one night I was making out with my then girlfriend on it with the music too loud and the sliding glass door open, and he wanders over and starts yelling at us through said door to keep it down, his kids have to go to school in the morning. Girlfriend yells back... "CAN YOU SPEAK UP WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD!" My roommate wandered down from his perch when he heard the racket and wandered over in his underwear to tell him to fuck off. When we eventually moved out I left my snazzy orange and red sun dress under his windshield wipers.

Wow, that sounds like someone did a bad remodel on that place.
 
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