Volpone
Zombie Hunter
Let's play a game. Let's play a game called "How much crap can you pile on someone before you crush their spirit and make then quit trying".
You start out by roping your friend into a job he doesn't want, promising it will only be 1-3 months. Then, at about 6 1/2 months, IT (or HR or whoever) will temporarily disable his account--right at the busiest, most crucial time of the month--and when all the regular IT staff are on vacation. Have him call the help desk so he gets some random guy in Moldavia who only manages to totally lock your account, just before the weekend.
Then, on Monday, when he has to work a full 8 hour second shift factory job, spend all available time getting the account unlocked. I mean, now the user has 2 different passwords and possibly a different, case-sensitive e-mail address for one other system (to say nothing of the random alphanumeric username that is sometimes used to access something AND the app he has to have on his phone that sends him 6 digit codes for secondary authentication.
Have him in a half-how long 8:30am meeting the morning after working until midnight--all so he can say "nothing to report." Then, when it is time for him to release a deliverable, and he finds that he no longer has access to one of the files he needs (he did take a nap for an hour or two after the meeting) get on him because he just sent an old graph along with updated data. Tell him to drop the 152 unread e-mails he still has to get through, confirming none of his month-end tasks got missed, and the various other things he's supposed to be doing--to say nothing of having breakfast and coffee (at Noon) and getting dressed--so he can chase down another network problem while he still hasn't resolved the problem of multiple e-mail addresses and passwords.
Because he'll definitely do that instead of stopping any work while staying on the clock and going to make coffee and breakfast.
You start out by roping your friend into a job he doesn't want, promising it will only be 1-3 months. Then, at about 6 1/2 months, IT (or HR or whoever) will temporarily disable his account--right at the busiest, most crucial time of the month--and when all the regular IT staff are on vacation. Have him call the help desk so he gets some random guy in Moldavia who only manages to totally lock your account, just before the weekend.
Then, on Monday, when he has to work a full 8 hour second shift factory job, spend all available time getting the account unlocked. I mean, now the user has 2 different passwords and possibly a different, case-sensitive e-mail address for one other system (to say nothing of the random alphanumeric username that is sometimes used to access something AND the app he has to have on his phone that sends him 6 digit codes for secondary authentication.
Have him in a half-how long 8:30am meeting the morning after working until midnight--all so he can say "nothing to report." Then, when it is time for him to release a deliverable, and he finds that he no longer has access to one of the files he needs (he did take a nap for an hour or two after the meeting) get on him because he just sent an old graph along with updated data. Tell him to drop the 152 unread e-mails he still has to get through, confirming none of his month-end tasks got missed, and the various other things he's supposed to be doing--to say nothing of having breakfast and coffee (at Noon) and getting dressed--so he can chase down another network problem while he still hasn't resolved the problem of multiple e-mail addresses and passwords.
Because he'll definitely do that instead of stopping any work while staying on the clock and going to make coffee and breakfast.