Volpone
Zombie Hunter
"It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage." And also the years. Priority has been on fixing up the tin shed I'm renting out spaces in. At the moment I'm trying to stop the leaks. A couple days replacing rotten boards and failed sheet metal screws. And patching (suspected) leaks with Flex Seal Paste. Or Gorilla Leak Tape. Or that metal foil tape they use on furnace ducts--depending on the situation. And a couple days cleaning leaves and branches and years of crud off the roof (as much as was practical without climbing up on the roof). Time permitting, I'd have coated all the wood with linseed oil so it couldn't soak up water. Time did not permit but it is supposed to rain like a bastard tomorrow so we'll see what (if any) success a week or more of work has had.
I'll back up a bit to describe the shed. Corrugated metal, screwed to a wood "skeleton" (framework). About 55' long by 19' deep. Two 2 car 7' steel garage doors and one 1 car. Sloping roof. About 11' tall in the front, with a 4' overhang in front of the doors. About 8' at the back. Rubber matting laid over gravel for a floor. This is fine because the shed is at the bottom of a slope. If it had a concrete floor, the water would pool at the doors, run in, and flood the structure. As it is, it (mostly) runs under the matting, through the underlying gravel, and out the back. Overlaps of metal "skin" aligned with slope and sheet metal screws with integral rubber gaskets under the screw head theoretically prevent leaks. Practically, there are problems. Spots where a tree branch or something has landed on the roof and compromised it. Worn gaskets. Rusted screws. Spots where rotten wood or damage have changed the slope, allowing water to pool or backtrack. On top of all that, the prevailing wind goes against the roof slope, wedging leaves and other bits of dead organic matter up under the metal joints. And pushing water in that direction. Get a strong enough wind to overcome the roof slope and it will push water under the overlaps and cause a leak. It's also a kind of Heisenberg problem: If you climb around on the roof to fix a leak (and you don't fall through the roof) there's a good chance that your weight on the relatively delicate roof will create a leak somewhere else.
Anyway, the point of the initial sentence is that this all has left me beat. A lot more beat than I'd think this amount of work would leave me. Granted, I also put in around 4 miles every day, walking my dog. For various reasons I recently looked at a...shall we say boudoir... photo of myself at 42 and compared it to one from a few days ago. Now, I look good...for my age. But there IS a difference. I didn't realize it until I saw the 2 photos side-by-side. There is a loss of muscle mass and definition. And I'm feeling it. My brain thinks I have a 42, 35 year old body. And then it is confused when it needs an hour nap at the end of the work day. It's kind of like "Star Trek: Voyager": It starts out new and interesting and cool. And it ends in a stale, sad, tired, and embarrassing way. And you're confused by how this happened, because The Suck snuck up gradually. Was it when they landed the ship on a planet? When they discovered Species 8674309? When they did The Year of Hell and then just magically undid it with a reset button? Janeway and Paris' lizard babies? Tuvix? (Ye gods, there was so much bad VOY. The mind boggles. Sarah Silverman calling Tuvok a "freakasaur." The Rock.)
So yeah. There should probably be a neat little "and that was the end of another day on Walton's Mountain." Conclusion. But I got nothing.
I'll back up a bit to describe the shed. Corrugated metal, screwed to a wood "skeleton" (framework). About 55' long by 19' deep. Two 2 car 7' steel garage doors and one 1 car. Sloping roof. About 11' tall in the front, with a 4' overhang in front of the doors. About 8' at the back. Rubber matting laid over gravel for a floor. This is fine because the shed is at the bottom of a slope. If it had a concrete floor, the water would pool at the doors, run in, and flood the structure. As it is, it (mostly) runs under the matting, through the underlying gravel, and out the back. Overlaps of metal "skin" aligned with slope and sheet metal screws with integral rubber gaskets under the screw head theoretically prevent leaks. Practically, there are problems. Spots where a tree branch or something has landed on the roof and compromised it. Worn gaskets. Rusted screws. Spots where rotten wood or damage have changed the slope, allowing water to pool or backtrack. On top of all that, the prevailing wind goes against the roof slope, wedging leaves and other bits of dead organic matter up under the metal joints. And pushing water in that direction. Get a strong enough wind to overcome the roof slope and it will push water under the overlaps and cause a leak. It's also a kind of Heisenberg problem: If you climb around on the roof to fix a leak (and you don't fall through the roof) there's a good chance that your weight on the relatively delicate roof will create a leak somewhere else.
Anyway, the point of the initial sentence is that this all has left me beat. A lot more beat than I'd think this amount of work would leave me. Granted, I also put in around 4 miles every day, walking my dog. For various reasons I recently looked at a...shall we say boudoir... photo of myself at 42 and compared it to one from a few days ago. Now, I look good...for my age. But there IS a difference. I didn't realize it until I saw the 2 photos side-by-side. There is a loss of muscle mass and definition. And I'm feeling it. My brain thinks I have a 42, 35 year old body. And then it is confused when it needs an hour nap at the end of the work day. It's kind of like "Star Trek: Voyager": It starts out new and interesting and cool. And it ends in a stale, sad, tired, and embarrassing way. And you're confused by how this happened, because The Suck snuck up gradually. Was it when they landed the ship on a planet? When they discovered Species 8674309? When they did The Year of Hell and then just magically undid it with a reset button? Janeway and Paris' lizard babies? Tuvix? (Ye gods, there was so much bad VOY. The mind boggles. Sarah Silverman calling Tuvok a "freakasaur." The Rock.)
So yeah. There should probably be a neat little "and that was the end of another day on Walton's Mountain." Conclusion. But I got nothing.