Your first love

[Hambil]

Was your first love also your first kiss? Mine wasn't.

 

[S. SaDiablo]

[mutters] That bastard... [/mutters]

 

[Kyehlar]

I've still never been kissed either. Both of my relationships have been online relationships.

 

[Blondie]

Hmmm.

Really my first love wasn't my first kiss. My first love was a little hamster I had when I was a little girl. His name was Johnny Quest and I loved him so much that one day I just squeezed him and squeezed him until his little intestines came out his butthole and his eyes popped out and went ziiiiinnnngggg across the room.

We didn't have a funeral for Johnny Quest. Oh no. Johnny Quest got to be a snack for the neighbors dog. That made me sad. But I got another hamster I named Ultimate Hamster.

I found out something interesting about Ultimate Hamster. If you scotch tape a hamsters feet to the top of a ceiling fan, then turn it on high three things happen: one, a hamster will emit a screech that has to be heard to be believed, two, a hamster can vomit a lot, and three, the scotch tape will eventually come loose and that hamster can most certainly break a window pane. I never saw Ultimate Hamster after that.

I've been a broken hearted little girl ever since that time.

 

[Lilith]

Nope.

 

[The Question]

Actually, it was. I was 8 and I believe she was 9 and we got in a fight on the playground which turned into something a lot friendlier than fighting, for which we both got in a shitload of trouble. I think her name was either Lisa or Lea or something.

 

[keekeen]

Actually, it was. I was 8 and I believe she was 9 and we got in a fight on the playground which turned into something a lot friendlier than fighting, for which we both got in a shitload of trouble. I think her name was either Lisa or Lea or something.

and that was the last pussy you never got

 

[The Question]

Who says I didn't tap that a decade later?

 

[Anna]

Nope.

 

[Sarek]

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[Gagh]

Mine was Henoch.