Ask The Saint The Question. Or... just "a" question. I guess.

[The Question]

Do my legs hurt/

Yes, but only because you keep pounding them with David Beckham.

 

[The Question]

How's your giant hairy dong doing?

It sent me an email from Las Vegas. It's having a grand time.

 

[The Question]

Do you chuck wood?

I have Polynesian midget servants to do that for me.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Do you like your nipples played with? Do you play with them when you're alone?

 

[The Question]

My nipples tend to be really misanthropic. They don't much care for people walking up and messing with 'em. Besides, they read the Wall Street Journal and Stratfor and then tell me the news that's relevant to my interests, so I give 'em their space. It's a respect thing.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

As long as your nipples realize that Rupert Murdoch is an evil robber baron.

 

[The Question]

Who doesn't know that? Even the iguana who lives a few doors down came to me the other day and say, "Hey, man, that Rupert Murdoch is one evil piece of work. Thp thp thp."

 

[Donovan]

Lupus was invented by the Russians. You're not a commie, are you?

I might well be. Ask Tamar.

 

[Friday]

A statement, and a question.

I hope you are doing well.

Did you ever get your computer back from the bouncer from that stripper website?

 

[The Question]

To the statement: Not really. Still no A.C. and it's a hundred plus degrees inside the apartment. I shut the computer down this afternoon and devoted one of my three feeble electric fans to trying to cool that instead of me just to ensure that I wouldn't lose the computer. Of course, I won't know whether that's even effective or not until either the temperature drops, the AC is fixed or the computer dies.

To the question: Nope. Ended up just eventually getting a new computer.

 

[Friday]

To the statement: Not really. Still no A.C. and it's a hundred plus degrees inside the apartment. I shut the computer down this afternoon and devoted one of my three feeble electric fans to trying to cool that instead of me just to ensure that I wouldn't lose the computer. Of course, I won't know whether that's even effective or not until either the temperature drops, the AC is fixed or the computer dies.

To the question: Nope. Ended up just eventually getting a new computer.

How in the world can you live where you live, with no AC? Is it an economic choice, or is it broken? That's actually a health hazard in your neck of the woods. I hope you're keeping hydrated. Visit the local library during the day. Free AC, and internet access.

Karma will take care of that ne'er do well who stole your computer. Fucker.

 

[The Question]

We had AC. There was a fire in the mechanical room of the apartment complex that took out the actual cooling unit, and the place is owned by cheap, sleazy fuckers who won't put a penny into it without a gun to their heads.

Hydration isn't exactly possible right now, either. Summer is a hard time to be doing the kind of writing work I'm doing, so right now I've got pocket change to my name.

 

[Friday]

Seriously, no AC is a health hazard there. Do you have a tenant organization, or even the Dept of Public Health you can speak to? I know in NY if the temp fell below a certain number at night, the landlord was required to provide access to heat, or suffer fines. The same might be true for you, in your climate.

Water! You're drinking water, aren't you? I hope. In that oven you're living in, you need to at least drink water, or you're going to keel over, and incur expensive hospital costs.

Take care of yourself!!! That's an order, Mister!

 

[The Question]

Drinking water doesn't help when what comes out of the tap is just as hot as everything else.

 

[Friday]

You do have a fridge? Put the water in the fridge! And drink!

 

[The Question]

Did that when I posted the last post. It's not ready to drink yet.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I BET IT'S READY NOW! YUM!

If bull's testicles can be fashioned into a delicacy, what about Henoch's testicles?

 

[Friday]

Yay! Now we're getting somewhere. Keep a shitload of water in the fridge, and keep hydrated. I know a lot of buildings there have misting systems that you can stand under...do that. Visit the library, and the mall.

I've been in your shoes. I feel for ya...

 

[The Question]

Eh, the library and the mall aren't options. I've got to keep scratching for writing work.

 

[Friday]

Keep your feet in a bowlful of cold water while at home. That will keep your core temp down.

Actually, put a bowl of ice in front of one of your fans, and let the resulting cold air blow towards you! That works wonders.