CEEJAY MY BOY ... I WANNA
- Thread starter MODMAN
- Start date
BROWNFOOT
Active Member
THING-FISH:
Once upon a time, musta been 'round October, few years back, in one o' dose TOP SECRET LAB-MOTORIES de gubbnint keep stashed away underneath Virginia, an EVIL PRINCE, occasion'ly employed as a part-time THEATRICAL CRITICIZER set to woikin' on a plot fo de systematic GENOCIDICAL REMOVE'LANCE of all unwanted highly-rhythmic individj'lls an' sissy-boys!
De cocksucker done whiffed up a secret POTIUM... an' right 'long wid it, de ATROCIOUS IDEA dat what he been boilin' up down deahhhh jes' mights be de FINAL SOLUTIUM to DE WHITE MAIN'S 'BOIDENNN', ef yo' acquire my drift...
Well, he were sure he had a GOOD THING GOIN'... but, dere was always de possobility dat somethin' might fuck up, so, he planned to have a little test, jes' to check it all out befo' he dump't it in de wattuh supply
Sho'tly denafter, wit HIGH-LEVEL GUBNINT CO-ROBBERATIUM, he arranged to have a good-will visit to SAN QUENTIM, 'long wit some country-westin mu- zishnin's, 'n sprinkle a little bit of it on some of de boys in deahhh (since dey done used a few of 'em befo' when dey was messin' wit de ZYPH'LISS)
So, heah dey come wit de POTIUM, dump'nit all in de mash potatoes!
Den dey wen' up to de warden's office fo' some HOT TODDY, watchin' a little football while dey's waitin' to see what gone happen!
Fact o' de matter were: NOTHIN' HAPPENED, so dey went off'n dribbled it in a special shipnint of GALOOT CO-LOG-NUH dat went out 'bouts NOVEMBER!
Next thing y'know, fagnits be droppin' off like flies...'long wit a large number of severely-tanned individj'lls, pre-zumnably of HAY'CHEN EXTRAKMENT!
But NOT DE BOYS IN DE REST HOME! Oh no! Mixin' de shit wit de mash potatoes done SMOOTHED IT OUT a little, so's it wouldn't KILL yo' ass, BUT, it sho' would make y'ugly! 'N ef y'was already UGLY, it'd make yo ass MEAN 'n UGLY...'n ef you was already MEAN 'n UGLY, it'd turn ya into a strange, UNKNOWN KREETCHUH, never befo' seen on BROADWAY!^LThass right! It'd turn ya' into a 'MAMMY NUN'! Head like a potato...lips like a duck...big ol' hands, puffin' up! BIG ONES! Science! ME-jev'l re-LIJ-mus costumery all over yo' BODY! Yow! Oh yeah! Mmmm-hmmm!
BROWNFOOT
Active Member
ENSEMBLE: (singing)
We got de talkin' shoes!
We de MAMMY NUNS!
THING-FISH:
(Dominose Vobiskmmmmm!)
ENSEMBLE:
We is important news!
We de MAMMY NUNS!
THING-FISH:
(Et cum spear a TU-TU, Ohhhhh!)
ENSEMBLE:
We destroy de blues!
We de MAMMY NUNS!
THING-FISH:
Sho' am, y'all!
(MAMMIES, step faw'd 'n express yo'sevs!)
ENSEMBLE:
We sho can dance 'n sing!
We's a lot o' fun!
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THING-FISH:
(D'ja get any on ya down dere?)
ENSEMBLE:
We's doin' everything!
We's a lot o' fun!
THING-FISH:
(How'd YOU like to use my nakkin'?)
ENSEMBLE:
We's doin' de buck 'n wing!
We's a lot o' fun!
We's offa de wall!
THING-FISH: (pointing to his skirt)
(Fo' those of you unfamiliar wit de' nakkin
Dis be de nakkin'!)
ENSEMBLE:
ON BROADWAY
IT'S A NEW DAY...
THING-FISH:
On Broadway, It's a New Day!
Dat's right! Dat's what I say!
ENSEMBLE:
WHEN WE SAY...
THING-FISH:
Oh yeah! You 'bout through wif my nakkin'?
ENSEMBLE:
"We is de ones dey be callin' de 'MAMMY NUNS'!"
THING-FISH:
We ugly as SIN!
ENSEMBLE:
We de MAMMY NUNS!
WE BE LOOKIN' GOOD
WIT DE NAKKIN' ON!
THING-FISH:
We gots a nasty grin-n-n-n-n!
ENSEMBLE:
We de MAMMY NUNS!
WE BE LOOKIN' GOOD
WIT DE NAKKIN' ON!
THING-FISH: (pointing to HARRY)
We sho' ain't ugly as him...
ENSEMBLE:
We de MAMMY NUNS!
LAWD LAWD LAWD
LAWD LAWD LAWD
LAWD LAWD LAWD
WE DE MAMMY NUNS!
THING-FISH:
Step right up, folks, 'n meet de 'MAMMY NUNS'! You two ugly white folks hafta excuse de SISTERS, as what dey put in de mash potatoes have rendered dem INCONTINENT! Anyhow, ovuh heahhhh, de scintillating SISTER OWL-GONKWIN-JANE COW-HOON, and de delectable SISTER GHENGHIS-ADONIS-OSMOSIS... 'long wif SISTER POTATO-HEAD BOBBY BROWN, and de ever-popular SISTER ANNE de DEVINE ...an' howsabouta heart-warmin' welcome fo' SISTER JASMINE NOXEMA-TAPIOCA an' her unscrutable companium, SISTER OB'DEWLLA 'X'...an' I's yo host: de THING-FISH!
ENSEMBLE:
ON BROADWAY
IT'S A NEW DAY
WHEN WE SAY:
"We is de ones dey be callin' de
'MAMMY NUNS'!"
THING-FISH:
We is dressed to kill!
ENSEMBLE:
We be lookin' good!
THING-FISH:
We gives you quite a thrill!
ENSEMBLE:
We be dancin' good!
(Whom a ninny? Him? Him a ninny! Hah!
Whom a ninny? You'm a ninny! Haw!)
Wit de dancin' skill
Wit de nakkin' on, LAWD!
BROWNFOOT
Active Member
Rhonda: (stage whisper)
Harry, this is not Dreamgirls!
Harry: (stage whisper)
They told me it had c-c-colored folk in it, Rhonda, and that's always a sure sign of good, solid, musical entertainment! How was I supposed to know they'd be this ugly?
Rhonda:
They pissed on us, harry! they fuckin' pissed on us! look at my fox!
Harry:
I know, dear...but they pissed on me too...he did say they were incontinent!
Rhonda:
Just smell this! I think we should get out of here before they do something else to us!
Harry:
Leave? Now? At these ticket prices? Just hold your horses! And it probably wasn't real piss, only theater piss! They probably have a formula. Some special stuff. Comes out right out of the fur with woolite
Rhonda:
What's happened to broadway, Harry? Used to be you could come to one of these things and the wind would be rushing down the plain or a fairy on a string would go over the audience...but now Harry I ask you: is this entertainment?
Harry:
You're absolutely correct, dear! So far we haven't seen a single good-looking pair of legs...a single sequin-encrusted whatchamacallit ...no firm, rounded breasts! This show is a disaster, Rhonda, a complete and utter disaster!
Thing-fish:
Mmmm! say dere...hey! umm-hmm! thass right! hey you! you two ugly white folks...over heahhh!
As you know, de presence of carboniferous hard-core unemployables has gen'rally, in de historical past, guaranteed an evenin' of upliftin' frolic and cavortment...it'd be a shame fo y'all t'miss
On dis here one! got some nice chairs fo' ya, rights ovuh heahhh
[Harry and Rhonda rise, cross to Thing-Fish, and sit in the chairs he offers. They are immediately chained to them by the mammies]
Harry:
Uhhh...beg pardon? What's going on here?
Rhonda:
Oh! they're touching me! Harry! Harry! Harry! Harry, do something! They're putting chains on me! I'll be stuck to the chair! Oh! What'll I do? I'll miss intermission!
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Harry:
They're only 'theater chains', Rhonda! just some sort of...
Rhonda:
These are real goddam chains, harry, and they're not gonna come off with woolite!
Harry:
I don't mind the way they feel...they don't bother me, honey...relax! Go with the flow...
Rhonda:
Harry, you are an over-educated shit-head!
Thing-Fish:
Look here, folks...dis only fo yo own protexium! once we gets rollin' heah, things be happnin' all over de place dat could prove dangerous to persons not previously acquainted wit de San Quentim mashed potatoes!
Rhonda:
I want the wind to come rushing down the plain! I want fairies on a string over the audience! I want real broadway entertainment! feathers! spot-lights! guilt! hours upon hours of guilt! about my mother! about my father! about brave women, suffering at the hands of infantile, insensitive, dominating men! and what do I get? a potato-headed jig-a-boo with Catholic clothes on! incomprehensible
Duck lips! weak bladders draining through abnorminably large organs! Jesus, Harry! What the fuck is going on here?
Harry:
Simmer down! If you'll just roll with the punches...and don't rock the boat, I'm sure we'll have a lovely evening at the theater!
Thing-fish:
Thass right! we got fairies on a string fo yo ass jes' a little later! meanwhile, I b'lieves y'all requires some updatement on de co-log-nuh situatium! sister Ob'dewlla 'X'! express yo'seff!
BROWNFOOT
Active Member
ENSEMBLE: (singing)
GALOOT CO-LOG-NUH!
THING-FISH:
GALOOT, GALOOT
GALOOT, GALOOT
GALOOT, GALOOT
De KILLER CO-LOG-NUH!
ENSEMBLE:
GALOOT
CO-LOG-NUH!
THING-FISH:
GALOOT, GALOOT
GALOOT, GALOOT
GALOOT, GALOOT
De KILLER CO-LOG-NUH! Thass right!
De KILLER CO-LOG-NUH! Thass right!
Well, de gubnint dint fine out rights away 'bout...
ENSEMBLE:
De 'MAMMY NUNS'
THING-FISH:
Dat's right!
ENSEMBLE:
De 'MAMMY NUNS'
THING-FISH:
Well, dey's too damn excited 'bout de sissies dey was knockin' off, 'n workin' up an uncreedable variety of theoretical scenarios, to explain away how come de fagnits all be croakin' at de same time in -
ENSEMBLE:
NOVEMBER!
THING-FISH:
De month o' NOVEMBUH, reekin' of tainted CO-LOG-NUM! Dey booked in de heavy pseudo re-LIJ-mus talent to pronunciate de doc-TRINE of BIBLICAL RETRIBUTIUM!
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ENSEMBLE:
Moving the project forward!
THING-FISH:
Figgin' dat to be...
ENSEMBLE:
Da-da-dee-dahh!
THING-FISH:
A sho-fi' explumation, suitable fo' Domestical...
ENSEMBLE:
Assuagement!
THING-FISH:
Natchilly, a substantial number o' severely ignint white folks went fo' it, hook, line, 'n shrinker!
By dat time, de 'MAMMY NUNS' had already sprouted dem 'tato heads, 'n was in de process of growin' out dey nakkins...
Also, by a peculiar corinsidence, we's all up fo' PAROLE at de SAME TIME! Thass right! You figgit out!
Once we's out DE JOINT, we faced a hard time in de depressium...couldn't get no 'sembly line woik, 'n since de nakkins we's wearin' atch'ly be GROWIN' outs our bodies, we was labelled as 'over-qualified' fo' janitorical deployment!
Onliest good thang 'bout bein' a 'MAMMY NUN' is we be mo-less UN-destructable! Whatever dey done whiffed up befo' don't do SHIT to us now! Fact, we jes mights be de onliest thangs left walkin' in de U.S.A., now de MYS'TRY RE-ZEASE gone outa control!
ENSEMBLE:
Just like you!
THING-FISH:
Just like you! I see some of y'all be FROWNIN' ...'cause mebbe y'think what I's tellin' ya' is a LIE! How 'bout it, folks? Whatcha say? Id dat right?
ENSEMBLE:
Yes, it sho' is!
THING-FISH:
Well, les' jes' have a test...how many o' you nice folks think I knows what I's talkin' 'bout? RAISE Y'HAIN UP! Uh-huh! An' how many thinks my potato been bakin' too long? RAISE YO MIZZABLE HAIN UP! Uh-huh!
Now...how many you folks is CONVINCED de gubnint be totally 'UNCONCERNED' wit de proliferatium o' UNDESIRABLE TENANTS in de CONDOMINIUM o' LIFE? An' how many folks believe THEY number won't come up, next time de breeze blow fum de Easterly directium?
Les' face it, peoples! Ugly as I mights be, I AM YO' FUTCHUM!
'Les y'all prefer 'permanent storage' or a condo in ATLANTIS
ENSEMBLE:
They could really get down there!
THING-FISH:
Dey could really GET DOWN dere, but, I's de only protexium you got!
Now, durin' de intromissium, de SISTERS be sellin' some MASH POTATOES in de lobby, right over by de -
ENSEMBLE:
PYRAMID!
THING-FISH:
In de vicinity o' de...
ENSEMBLE:
SQUID DECOR!
THING-FISH:
'Neath de planet o' de big ol' giant...
ENSEMBLE:
Underwater door!
THING-FISH:
A generous good-will offerin' are REQUIRED...jes' let yo' conscience be yo' guide...
ENSEMBLE:
BLUE LIGHT!
THING-FISH:
Jes' follow de BLUE LIGHT, down de aisle to de potatoes durin' de intromissium...
ENSEMBLE:
Light, light, light, light...
BLUE LIGHT...
BLUE LIGHT...
ENSEMBLE:
...an' while y'all be thinkin' about de blue light, an' y'all be decidin' whether or not yo' immunity gwine hold up 'til de end o' de show, I's 'bout to address myseff to de re-educatement o' dem silly muthafuckers over deahhh
ENSEMBLE:
You can't even speak your own fucking language!
THING-FISH:
What on urf do you mean: 'MY LANGUAGE'? I got yo language hangin', boy, 'long wif a two-week supply of IGNINT McNUGGET, de breakfast o' champiums!
ENSEMBLE:
Don't let your meat loaf! Huh-huh-huh!
THING-FISH:
Huh? Kiss my McNUGGET!
ENSEMBLE:
Your micro-nanette!
THING-FISH:
Y'kin kiss my micro-nanette too! Don't forget de GALOOT!
ENSEMBLE:
GALOOT CO-LOG-NUHHHHHH!
THING-FISH:
GALOOT COLOGNUM!
BROWNFOOT
Active Member
THING-FISH:
Now, dis nasty sucker is de respondable party fo de en-whiffment o' de origumal potium. Through de magik o' stage-kraff, we be able to see him at woik!
He now be preparin' some ugly shit to make yo' life even mo' mizzable den it awready are, since dis batch be resigned to render him IMMORTAL! We does not know if it gwine woik yet, but we kin always hope fo' de best!
THING-FISH: (singing)
Flies all green 'n buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
Prisoners grummle an' piss dey' clothes
'N scratch dey' matted hair
A tiny light fum a window-hole
A hunnit yards away
Is all dey ever gets t'know
'Bouts de reg'luh life in de day
An' it stink so bad, de stones been chokin'
'N weepin' greenish drops
In de room where de giant fowah-puffer woikin'
'N de torchum never stops
De torchum never stops
De torchum
De torchum
De torchum never stops
(Go on, 'DEWLLA! Play dat lil' guitar one mo'gin!)
(spoken)
Uh-oh! I smells trubba! He be messin' wit pigmeat heahhh! Muthafucker be rejectin' some CO-LOG- NUH directly into de DUO-DEENUM of de unsuspecting victim! Now he gone see if he immune to it by eatin' a dab hisseff!
(singing)
Flies all green an' buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
An EVIL PRINCE eats a steamin' pig
In a chamber, right near dere
He eat de snouts an' de trotters foist!
De loins an' de groins id soon re-spersed
His carvin' style id well re-hoist
He stan' 'n shout:
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All main be coist!
All main be coist!
All main be coist!
All main be coist!
An' dis-ergree? Well, no one durst...
He de best, of cose, of all de woist
Some wrong been done, he done it foist...
An' he stink so bad, his bones been chokin'
And weepin' greenish drops
In de vat of GALOOT CO-LOG-NUH
Where de Re-zease be berlin' up
Berlin' an' uh boilin' up
CO-LOG-NUH!
CO-LOG-NUH!
GALOOT CO-LOG-UH-NUH!
THING-FISH: (spoken)
Oh! Do yoseff a favum 'n DON'T USE IT! Oooooooh! Look at THESE ugly suckers! Boy, when white folks come back fum bein' dead, they sho' gets scary-lookin'! But don't take their appearance too seriously, people, 'cause dey say dis de sort o' folks dat belongs on BROADWAY! The BROADWAY ZOMBIES collect around the EVIL PRINCE, who suddenly suspects the presence of an intruder. After taking a large bite from an onion he sings...
EVIL PRINCE: (singing)
Somewhere, over there, I can tell
There's a voice of
A potato-headed whatchamacallit
Who does not wish me well!
His clothes are quite stupid
And also his shoes!
He's got a big ol' duck-mouth!
(Who knows how he chews!)
He thinks he knows something
About THE GREAT PLAN!
How ULTIMATE BLANDNESS
Must RULE and COMMAND
He knows not a drop
Not a crumb
Not a whit
Of the reason for doing
This criminal shit
And then, if he did
Would it matter a bit?
Not at all!
Because IT IS WRIT:
Our BEIGE-BLANDISH GOD
Tends to CERTIFY IT:
"Only the boring and bland shall survive!
Only the lamest of lameness will thrive!"
Take it or leave it, you won't be alive
If you are overtly CREATIVE!
Fairies and faggots and queers are
'CREATIVE'
All the best music on Broadway is
'NATIVE'
Who will step forward
And end all this trouble?
For beige-blandish citizens
Clutching the rubble
Of vanishing dreams
Of wimpish amusement
Replaced by a rash
Of 'CREATIVE' confusement!
Soon, my brave Zombies
You'll make your return!
Broadway will glow!
Broadway will burn!
(Along with the remnants of
EVERYTHING NEW)
My HOLY DISEASE will do
Wonders for you!
Those lovely producers
Who paid for you 'then'
Will do it again, and again, and again!
EVIL PRINCE: (singing to the Zombies)
The spying potato
With horrible diction
Will rot in the garbage
When this show's eviction
Takes place shortly after
My alternate skill
Of THEATRICAL SABOTAGE
Triumphs YOUR will!
I've a special review
I've been saving for years
For a show just like this
With POTATOES and QUEERS
I'll say it's disgusting, atrocious, and dull
I'll say it makes boils inside of your skull
I'll say it's the worst-of-the-worst of the
Year
No wind down the plain, and it's hard on your
Ear
I'll say it's the work of an infantile mind
I'll say that it's tasteless, and that you will
Find
A better excuse to spend money or time
At a Tupper-Ware Party
So, do be a smarty!
Hold on to that dollar
A little while longer
For spending it here
Why, it couldn't be wronger!
WHAT'S HAPPENED TO BROADWAY?
WHERE'S IT GONE, ALL THE GLITTER?
THE 'HEART' AND THE 'SOUL'
THE PATTER?
THE PITTER?
And after this deadly review hits the paper
In will come ROPER, BENDER & RAPER
To legally execute all that remains
Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
THING-FISH: (singing)
Flies all green an' buzznin'
In his dunjing of despair
Who are all o' dem ZOMBIES
Dat he fuckin' wit down dere?
Are dey crazy?
Are dey sainted?
Are dey STAGE-KRAFF someone painted?
It have never been explained
Since at first it were created
But, a MUSICAL, like we's in
Require a WHOLE BUNCH O' EVERYTHIN'!
We talkin' EVERYTHIN' DAT EVER BEEN!
Look at her!
Look at him!
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
Dat what de deal we dealin' in
BROWNFOOT
Active Member
HARRY:
RHONDA, that EVIL PRINCE...he certainly does have a way about him!
RHONDA:
At least HE didn't piss on my fox...and HE has REAL BROADWAY STARS for personal acquaintances!
HARRY:
They're all dead, dear...Zombies, I believe... the 'walking dead'...Jack Palance did a show on them once
The EVIL PRINCE reaches into the bowels of the ravaged experimental pig and gorges himself on the raw entrails, tossing scraps to the BROADWAY ZOMBIES
RHONDA:
Oh my God! Look what he's doing with that stuff from inside the pig! Yuck! That's disgusting! Are you sure this guy is a PRINCE?
HARRY:
He's an EVIL PRINCE, dear...and part-time theater critic! They don't make a heck-of-a-lot of money, y'know! We should probably feel sorry for him. You have to admit, those ARE some of the least expensive cuts of pork
THING-FISH:
Don't you white folks know nothin'? Dat cock-sucker not only mean 'n dangerous, he ignint in regards to de prep'ratium o' food-stuffs! Even in SAN QUENTIM I never seen nobody eat a RAW CHITLIN'! De muthafucker be CRAZY! An' when dat gobbige make it's way thoo de digestium process, you bes' be hopin' you on yo' way outa heahh! Next item de boy be inventin' come under de headin' o' industrial pollutium!
HARRY:
Just what are these...chitlin's?
THING-FISH:
Dat dere id perhaps de questium most frequently posed by members of yo' species! I'll jes' gets de MAMMYS t'hep me relucidate dis bafflin' concept wit another thrillin' numbuh! Straighten up in dat chair and pay ATTENTIUM! People, dis is fo yo' own good! Do YOU know what YOU ARE?
SISTER ANNE de DEVINE and SISTER GHENGHIS-ADONIS-OSMOSIS clamp electrodes on HARRY & RHONDA. The other sisters re-enter with a pair of stuffed dummies, used to illustrate the song text in a bizarre sort of 'Bun-raku First-Aid Demonstration'
BROWNFOOT
Active Member
Straighten up in that chair and pay attentium! People, this is for your own good! Do you know what you are?
Do you know what you are? (that's what I asked ya)
You are what you is
You is what you am (ain't dat de truth?)
(A cow don't make ham . . . ) I mean that now
You ain't what you're not (not even hardly)
So see what you got (and you got a lotta lookin' to do, junior)
You are what you is (that's entirely too correct)
An' that's all it 'tis (uh-huh)
A foolish young man (bring that W over here and show it to us)
Stashed away at San Quentin
Picked up these potatoes (told you 'bout them 'tatoes)
Evil Prince was inventin'
Now he talk like the Thing-Fish
("Saffiiiee!")
An' he look like a mammy
("See the mammy now, see the mammy now!")
His favorite co-log-nah
(Smell like chitlins!)
Well, they taste just like candy (one out of twelve see the mammy)
He finally laid it
Laid de whole thing down
Said the Nivea Lotion (rub it on good now)
And de Royal Crown (take good care of that ash)
Do you know what you are? (you's a wimp, she's a shrew)
You are what you is (got that?)
You is what you am (one out of twelve see the mammy)
(A cow don't make ham . . . ) And it never will
You ain't what you're not (unless science do somethin' 'bout it)
So see what you got (I know they workin' on it)
You are what you is (underneath Virginia)
An' that's all it 'tis (book 'em Danno, mammy one!)
A foolish young man
Of the Negro Persuasion
Devoted his life
To become a caucasian
Well he stopped eating pork
He stopped eating greens
Well he traded his dashiki
("Uhuru!")
For some Jordache Jeans
Well he learned to play golf
An' he got a good score
Now he says to himself
"I AIN'T NO ('nignant) NO MORE . . . HEY! HEY! HEY!"
One of them twelve see them nignant with knife, procede with cautium, knife may be open
BWANA MA-COO-BAH
"All right let's go!"
MERCEDES BAINNNNNNNZ
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Who is who
(I don't know . . . )
'N what is what
(Somethin' I just don't know . . . )
'N why is this
(Tell me now . . . )
Appropriot
(That's a funny pronunciation if'n ever I heard one . . . )
If you don't like
(Where'd you get that word?)
What you has got
(Appropriot? The word is not . . . )
Drop it in the dirt
(Drop it yeah . . . )
'N let it rot
(I can smell it now . . . )
Someone else
(Here de come, here de come . . . )
Will surely come
(I told you he was comin')
'N pick it up
(That's right!)
Cause he wants some
(An' he wants it for free . . . )
And when one day
(There will come a day . . . )
You wonder who
(I wonder too . . . )
You used to was
(Who I was anyway . . . )
'N what you do
(I used to work at the post office . . . )
You'll scratch your head
(But I don't wanna un-do my doo . . . )
'N look around
(Just to see what's goin' on . . . )
But what you lost
(Can't seem to find it . . . )
Will not be found
(A Mercedes Benz . . . )
Do you know what you are?
(I know . . . )
You are what you is
(I'm the kinda guy . . . )
You is what you am
(That ought to be drivin' . . . )
A cow don't make a ham
(A four-fifty SLC . . . )
You ain't what you're not
(A big ol' red one . . . )
So see what you got
(With some golf clubs stickin' out de trunk . . . )
You are what you is
(I'm gwine down to de links on Saturday mornin' . . . )
An' that's all it is
(Gimme a five-dollar bill . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(And an overcoat too . . . )
AND THAT'S ALL IT IS
(Where's my waitress? Yeah . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(Robbie, take me to Greek Town . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(I'm harder than yer husband; harder than yer husband . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
(I'm goin' down to White Street, to the Mudd Club y'all . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(I'm goin' down 'n work the wall 'n work the floor . . . )
YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS
('N work the pipe 'n work the wall . . . )
AN THAT'S ALL IT IS
(Some more . . . )