Troll Kingdom

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Do you ever throw your cat up really high into the air and catch it?

When I was two I killed one of our baby guinea pigs by excitedyl throwing it up in the air. The poor thing broke its neck when it landed. My sisters still bring it up, as if I was in full control of judgement when I was two.
 
My sister emptied a bucket of transformers over my head. It really hurt since many of them were metal.
 
My youngest sister locked me in the cupboard when she was babysitting me once, she also pushed me into a fire, burning my arse; emptied scalding hot water from a kettle on my arm; & got her mates to pin me to the underneath of a roundabout, whilst more of them pushed it around, burning my arse on the rubber mats below.

She is one of many people who has since found out that you can't shut me up, whatever you try ;)
 
My sister kicked me in the forehead with a roller skate leaving a divot that's still there today. I use it to hold my emergency tictac for dating and job interviews. When I have the cinnamon kind people think I'm Indian.
 
My sister and I were fighting once and she grabbed me by the arm and flung me; I went skull-first into the arm of a heavy wooden rocking chair. Stitches.

Of course that was 6 presidents ago. We're cool now.
 
I don't have any siblings, so I didn't get tortured in any exciting ways. But once when I was little my older cousin was taking kung fu lessons and convinced me that he'd been taught how to kick someone without it hurting (which little Fuddle naively believed was something someone might learn in self defense classes, even though it makes no sense). Needless to say, his claims weren't entirely accurate. Fuddle cried. :(
 
I was playing GI Joe with my brother(rocktar) and was pretending to be Zartan locked in jail. I suddenly said "I escaped jail." and rocktar was like "no you didn't" and grabbed me and flung me into the wall breaking my nose.
 
I once flung my sister backwards into a glass coffee table, splitting the back of her head open from ear to ear. I now blame myself for all the poor choices she makes in life.
 
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