Fake E and CU riddles

[jack]

I was at a cash machine when fake E came up to me and asked to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

 

[jack]

How do you make fake CU go meow?

Freeze him and then run him through a band saw.

 

[jack]

Fake Eloisel and fake CU are sitting on the porch drinking tea together.....Fake CU turns to fake E and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

Fake E replies, "Oh sure I do."

Fake CU asks, "What do you do about it?" Fake E replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, Fake CU asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

 

[jack]

What's the difference between Cersei Lannister and fake CU?

Lipstick.

 

[jack]

This is you, very soon.

 

[jack]

 

[jack]

Fake E rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to her, "Georgio, $100 an ounce."

On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce."

Fake E's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound.

 

[eloisel]

Let's write a limerick about Jack.

There once was a bastard named Jack.
He had a Gear up his crack.
He cried no more room!
And blew out the toon.
Once again, it is just the bastard Jack.

 

[jack]

When fake E attended her school
I discovered her sucking a mule
When I asked "Ain't that sordid?"
"Why no!" she retorted
"You take me for some kind of fool?"

 

[eloisel]

The bastard Jack should be schooled
But school kicked him out cause he drooled
He bounced out the door on his rear
Which is how he scooped up Gear
"Oh, I've left a trail," exclaimed Jack, the tool.

 

[jack]

Q: How does Fake E find an old man in the dark?

A: It's not hard.

 

[jack]

q: Why does fake E have little balls?

a: She likes to dance.

 

[jack]

Fake E and her Mexican gardener were sitting at a bar having a cocktail. Fake E was digressing on how she had a two drink limit because after one drink she could feel it, and after two drinks everyone can feel it.

 

[eloisel]

Jack, you work too hard to get my attention. I have grown very tired of you. If it makes you feel better to sit up to neg rep me, by all means keep it up. However, don't expect me to respond to your crap anymore. You are too predictable and beyond boring. Goodbye.

 

[jack]

Shut the fuck up you stupid fucking twat. This part of the board sat here dead for weeks til you came back and started up with your lame fucking passive aggressive bullshit. No one cares. Go away already.

 

[NeonMercuryASH]

Shut up Jack. Tamar died.

 

[eloisel]

Really? Tamar died?

 

[NeonMercuryASH]

Yes. I am NOT kidding. It's hard to believe. Kind of explains why she hasn't been around at WordForge.

 

[eloisel]

Sorry to hear that.

 

[jack]

Shut up Jack. Tamar died.

Fuck you Neon, me telling fake E to fuck off and Tamar passing... the two aren't related you retard. Jesus, are you still tripping from that acid you took 50 years ago?