FHM 100 sexiest 2009 list is out

[CaptainWacky]

Unmolested list first, comments to follow...

1: Cheryl Cole
2: Megan Fox
3: Jessica Alba
4: Britney Spears
5: Keeley Hazell
6: Adriana Lima
7: Elisha Cuthbert
8: Kristin Kreuk
9: Anna Friel
10: Freida Pinto
11: Ana Ivanovic
12: Abbey Clancey
13: Scarlett Johansson
14: Angelina Jolie
15: Kate Beckinsale
16: Summer Glau
17: Frankie Sandford
18: Marisa Tomei
19: Thandie Newton
20: Zoe Salmon
21: Natalie Portman
22: Olga Kurylenko
23: Katy Perry
24: Jennifer Aniston
25: Ali Larter
26: Jessica Biel
27: Hayden Panettiere
28: Eliza Dushku
29: Eva Mendes
30: Louisa Lytton
31: Amber Heard
32: Gemma Arterton
33: Diora Baird
34: Konnie Huq
35: Doutzen Kroes
36: Keira Knightley
37: Kimberley Walsh
38: Jennifer Metcalfe
39: Sarah Michelle Gellar
40: Carla Bruni
41: Eva Longoria
42: Marissa Miller
43: Rihanna
44: Rachel Stevens
45: Maria Sharapova
46: Jessica Jane Clement
47: Emma Watson
48: Kelly Brook
49: Holly Valance
50: Alessandra Ambosio
51: Katie Melua
52: Georgie Thompson
53: Charlize Theron
54: Amii Grove
55: Isabel Lucas
56: Miranda Kerr
57: Nadine Coyle
58: Nicola Roberts
59: Beyonce Knowles
60: Nicole Scherzinger
61: Alexa Chung
62: Alesha Dixon
63: Jessica Simpson
64: Madeline Zima
65: Christina Aguilera
66: Jennifer Garner
67: Vanessa Hudgens
68: Odette Yustman
69: Malin Akerman
70: Heidi Klum
71: Hilary Duff
72: Kristen Bell
73: Emily Blunt
74: Holly Willoughby
75: Kate Moss
76: Taylor Swift
77: Christina Hendricks
78: Emma Willis
79: Katherione Jenkins
80: Emily Scott
81: Gemma Atkinson
82: Katherine Heigl
83: Michelle Ryan
84: Victoria Pendleton
85: Carmen Electra
86: Elizabeth Banks
87: Sarah Harding
88: Mary Elizabeth Winstead
89: Lily Allen
90: Lisa Snowdon
91: Christine Bleakley
92: Billie Piper
93: Ellen Page
94: Evangeline Lilly
95: Rachel Riley
96: Gemma Bissix
97: Dannii Minogue
98: Fiona Bruce
99: Lindsay Lohan
100: Mischa Barton

 

[CaptainWacky]

1: Cheryl Cole - She's alright looking, but not top ten quality.
2: Megan Fox - Well at least this proves she doesn't always win these things. I do think she's hot.
3: Jessica Alba - Meh. How is she still rating so high?
4: Britney Spears - This is a fucking joke, right?
5: Keeley Hazell - Breasts.
6: Adriana Lima - Can't be bothered googling them all, but she didn't look like anything amazing on the quick search I just did.
7: Elisha Cuthbert - Never really got into her but she's hot.
8: Kristin Kreuk - WTF? How is she a big enough name to make it this high on a reader vote? Unless all the readers are Smallville and Chun-Li fans.
9: Anna Friel - Again, WTF? Her agent must have bought her this place. Cute and sexy though.
10: Freida Pinto - She's hot, yes.
11: Ana Ivanovic - Can't be boethered googling (if there's no comment from now on thatmeans I didn't google.)
12: Abbey Clancey
13: Scarlett Johansson - My current number one.
14: Angelina Jolie - Never been a fan.
15: Kate Beckinsale - Bit too skinny.
16: Summer Glau - Refreshingly high and well deserved.
17: Frankie Sandford - Has potential, actually.
18: Marisa Tomei - Isn't she quite old? BUT THAT SHOULD BE CELEBRATED, YES.
19: Thandie Newton - Why?
20: Zoe Salmon
21: Natalie Portman - I think this is her highest placing on this list. and it's still 20 places too low.
22: Olga Kurylenko
23: Katy Perry - YES PLEASE.
24: Jennifer Aniston - Why? No.
25: Ali Larter - Surprisingly high, but I like her. Mouth is getting weirder though.
26: Jessica Biel
27: Hayden Panettiere - Too high.
28: Eliza Dushku - Meh.
29: Eva Mendes
30: Louisa Lytton - Looks cute on GIS (google image search).
31: Amber Heard - Looks good on GIS, no idea who she is.
32: Gemma Arterton - One to watch out for!
33: Diora Baird - Too many models.
34: Konnie Huq - Never really understood why she's so popular.
35: Doutzen Kroes
36: Keira Knightley - Shouldn't be on the list. A shadow of her former self.
37: Kimberley Walsh
38: Jennifer Metcalfe
39: Sarah Michelle Gellar - WTF? No. It's 2009, not 1997.
40: Carla Bruni - No.
41: Eva Longoria
42: Marissa Miller - Oh look, some model.
43: Rihanna - I saw some nice pics of her today. COULD BE MAKING A COMEBACK.
44: Rachel Stevens - Dead inside.
45: Maria Sharapova
46: Jessica Jane Clement - Maybe.
47: Emma Watson - HELLO THERE.
48: Kelly Brook - Way too low and it's surprising as I think she's usually in the top ten.
49: Holly Valance - WTF? Is she even still around?
50: Alessandra Ambosio
51: Katie Melua - Another "WTF is she even still around?" I remember finding her cute once.
52: Georgie Thompson - Some new reporter or something going by googel!?
53: Charlize Theron
54: Amii Grove - WOW SOME ZOO TYPE SHOCKING.
55: Isabel Lucas - WOW. Looks quite lovely. I've heard her name before, I'm sure, but not sure who she is. BUT I WANT TO KNOW. Must make a note...
56: Miranda Kerr
57: Nadine Coyle - Too many Girls Aloud.
58: Nicola Roberts - LOL the ginger one from Girls Aloud ridiculously high and not even the lowest rated Girls Aloud!
59: Beyonce Knowles - I've always liked Beyonce but everyone else here seems to hate her so I'll shut up.
60: Nicole Scherzinger - Hot in a plastic way.
61: Alexa Chung - Fucking hate this bitch everytime I see her on Channel 4.
62: Alesha Dixon - Great body, but eyes are just a bit too mad.
63: Jessica Simpson - No.
64: Madeline Zima - WHO? Looks a bit weird.
65: Christina Aguilera - I've always been a fan (she was my number 1 for a while) and hopefully she'll come out with some hot video soon AND KILL LADY GAGA.
66: Jennifer Garner - I forgot about her.
67: Vanessa Hudgens - Slut.
68: Odette Yustman
69: Malin Akerman - Haven't seen Watchmen yet.
70: Heidi Klum
71: Hilary Duff - Cute and seems to be turning into a slut. So maybe one to watch.
72: Kristen Bell - She's alright.
73: Emily Blunt - Far sexier than Keira Knightley in terms of english actresses in their twenties.
74: Holly Willoughby - Lovely and great tits.
75: Kate Moss - BLEH.
76: Taylor Swift - I keep seeing her name on SuperiorPics so I'll have to look into her, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Looks quite nice actually...
77: Christina Hendricks - Hot.
78: Emma Willis - Google doesnt' even have anything.
79: Katherione Jenkins - Never saw the big deal.
80: Emily Scott - Another model.
81: Gemma Atkinson - Tits are fat too big and fake.
82: Katherine Heigl - ROBL! What happened to RobL?
83: Michelle Ryan - Meh.
84: Victoria Pendleton
85: Carmen Electra - Is she still around?
86: Elizabeth Banks - Defintiely someone I need to look into (I remember her being hot as Betty in Spider-Man)
87: Sarah Harding - She needs a bath.
88: Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Who!? But seems to have potential.
89: Lily Allen - Should be higher, bit surprised she isn't.
90: Lisa Snowdon - Maybe, nice body.
91: Christine Bleakley - That weird Irish girl from the One Show? Hmm.
92: Billie Piper - She's kind of losing it.
93: Ellen Page - Cute as a fucking kitten. A KITTEN (KITTY) PRYDE. Should be higher.
94: Evangeline Lilly - Should be a lot higher. And Elizabeth Mitchell should be on too.
95: Rachel Riley - New Countdown bird!? LOL. She's fine for a NORMAL person.
96: Gemma Bissix
97: Dannii Minogue - Eww, no.
98: Fiona Bruce - Oh haha. This year's stupid joke entry that proves that the whole thing is rigged as the readers would never vote for her and makes the rest of the list invalid.
99: Lindsay Lohan - Used to be hot, too erratic now.
100: Mischa Barton - Bit weird.

CHECK OUT THE WACKY HOT ONE HUNDRED IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY OR JUST BUMP IT AGAIN BECAUSE IT'S MUCH BETTER

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

WHERE IS SUSAN BOYLE?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Menty or Gagh should post their own comments, AS IN YEARS PAST. And possibly tomtrek.

 

[Gagh]

I don't even know who a lot of them are, but by all means, I'll rock some comments in there over the weekend - The top one is way short of the mark. First, she's fucked Ashley Cole, secondly she has twiglet legs, and thirdly she's as thick as pigshit.

 

[The Tomtrek]

Menty or Gagh should post their own comments, AS IN YEARS PAST. And possibly tomtrek.

My only comment is the PERSON THEY LEFT OUT. ASSHOLES.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yeah, I can't believe they left out Jennifer Love Hewitt either.

 

[Gagh]

1: Cheryl Cole - You'd do her, but to be honest you could go for a walk in London and see 100 fitter birds in 90 minutes.
2: Megan Fox - She is very sexy. Number 2? Not in my book.
3: Jessica Alba - Painfully thin. No thank you.
4: Britney Spears - Having a fucking laugh. This is not the 2001 list.
5: Keeley Hazell - Famous only for tits, though she is fit anyway.
6: Adriana Lima - I agree with Wacky's comments.
7: Elisha Cuthbert - She is nice, bout wouldn't be in my own top ten.
8: Kristin Kreuk - Five years ago, maybe, but she seems to have gone all crinkly
9: Anna Friel - I have no idea how she even made it into the top 100. I mean, her fame peaked over 10 years ago, surely.
10: Freida Pinto - No idea who she is.
11: Ana Ivanovic - She is very nice, and obviously athletic to boot, which is good.
12: Abbey Clancey - Fuck off
13: Scarlett Johansson - Hottie. Top ten.
14: Angelina Jolie - Never rated her. Sorry.
15: Kate Beckinsale - I'm gradually warming to Kate Beckinsale as an actress, but still don't find her SMOKIN with all the other celebs out there.
16: Summer Glau - She is now very hot.
17: Frankie Sandford - Who?
18: Marisa Tomei - Nice body. Understandable - but 18? Nah.
19: Thandie Newton - Meh.
20: Zoe Salmon - She is pretty sexy, it must be said.
21: Natalie Portman - Top 15, at least.
22: Olga Kurylenko - Don.t care.
23: Katy Perry - Fit as, defo.
24: Jennifer Aniston - She's arguably sexier now than Friends days, but still not top 25 material.
25: Ali Larter - Fitter back in 2000-01, but still has it. Top 25? Nope.
26: Jessica Biel - I've always like her, before she broke into movies, so yes.
27: Hayden Panettiere - Too young for me, does nothing.
28: Eliza Dushku - Always found her fit, so yes.
29: Eva Mendes - Yep. Cracking bit of Hispanic totty.
30: Louisa Lytton - Who?
31: Amber Heard - Who?
32: Gemma Arterton - Yes. Fit.
33: Diora Baird - Who?
34: Konnie Huq - Thinking man's crumpet, but annoying. You'd abuse her - jack off in her face, force anal just to make her shut the fuck up.
35: Doutzen Kroes - Who?
36: Keira Knightley - She is OK, but so fucking thin.
37: Kimberley Walsh - OK.
38: Jennifer Metcalfe - Who?
39: Sarah Michelle Gellar - She still has a funny nose.
40: Carla Bruni - Oh fuck off.
41: Eva Longoria - Nice legs. Meh to the rest.
42: Marissa Miller - Who?
43: Rihanna - She's fit, but wouldn't like my name right now.
44: Rachel Stevens - So tiny, but still so sexy.
45: Maria Sharapova
46: Jessica Jane Clement - Who?
47: Emma Watson - Too young. Not Sexy.
48: Kelly Brook - What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK WOULD PUT CHERYL COLE, BRITNEY F'N SPEARS AND FUCKING ANNA FRIEL WAY ABOVE KELLY? NUMBER FUCKING ONE.
49: Holly Valance - She is fit. Top 20 for me.
50: Alessandra Ambosio - Who?
51: Katie Melua - Oh go for a walk off a short pier. If she's supposedly only 3 females less hot than Kelly Brook then I'm Brad Pitt.
52: Georgie Thompson - WHO?????
53: Charlize Theron - Piss off.
54: Amii Grove - I
55: Isabel Lucas - DON'T
56: Miranda Kerr - KNOW THESE PEOPLE
57: Nadine Coyle - Meh,
58: Nicola Roberts - HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Yeah, OK.
59: Beyonce Knowles - TITTIES,
60: Nicole Scherzinger - WHO
61: Alexa Chung - WHO ARE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE
62: Alesha Dixon - Annoying, but fuckable.
63: Jessica Simpson - fuck off.
64: Madeline Zima - WHO
65: Christina Aguilera - Top 50 at least.
66: Jennifer Garner - Beginning to weather badly, but she's a nice chick.
67: Vanessa Hudgens - Too young.
68: Odette Yustman - WHO
69: Malin Akerman - WHO
70: Heidi Klum - Not still top 100, surely.
71: Hilary Duff - Go away.
72: Kristen Bell - Deseves to be much higher.
73: Emily Blunt - Very demure & sexy. Should be higher.
74: Holly Willoughby - Big tits, but no.
75: Kate Moss - Too annoying to even be sexy.
76: Taylor Swift - She looks quite nice,
77: Christina Hendricks - WHO
78: Emma Willis - WHO
79: Katherione Jenkins - Only if we can gag her.
80: Emily Scott - WHO ARE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE
81: Gemma Atkinson - Nice tits.
82: Katherine Heigl - She's very fit, and top 50.
83: Michelle Ryan - No. OH HELL NO.
84: Victoria Pendleton - Teah, I'm glad she's popped up in here, because she is very nice - so is Kelly Sotherton
85: Carmen Electra - Piss off.
86: Elizabeth Banks - She'd be in my top 20. I like her.
87: Sarah Harding - Couldn't care less.
88: Mary Elizabeth Winstead - WHO>?
89: Lily Allen - I think her personality counts against her, but you know she's a sex machine just by looking at her.
90: Lisa Snowdon - Annoying.
91: Christine Bleakley - We're now having a laugh, aren't we? She had a nice body, but she looks like a fucking muppet that's fallen in orange paint.
92: Billie Piper - Onlt on the cover of that Secret Diaries of a Call Girl book, where it's been heavily airbrushed. To me, she'll always be the "Honey to the Bee" kid.
93: Ellen Page - Still too young for me, but in about 5 years she'll be fit as. She's also very smart & switched on for a young girl, which does appeal to me.
94: Evangeline Lilly - There is no way she is 70-odd times less fit that Britney Spears.
95: Rachel Riley - WHO?
96: Gemma Bissix - Big rack, sounds like she smokes 50 a day, and annoys me.
97: Dannii Minogue - Oh just fuck off already,
98: Fiona Bruce - How the heel did she make it in here? Yes, as far as BBC Presenters go, she's pretty, and at 45 or so, she does have a nice bottom, but we're supposed to be looking at the 100 fittest women IN THE WORLD!
99: Lindsay Lohan - I actually found her quite pretty at about 18. Then it all went wrong, and it's never been right since. Besides, if you ever met her, you'd probably want to throttle the arrogant bitch inside 5 minues
100: Mischa Barton - Too annoying and weird.

 

[ctmelvital]

1: Cheryl Cole - Who?
2: Megan Fox - Yes. Plus she's no longer engaged. Or something.
3: Jessica Alba - Hm, a couple years ago. Now she's had a a baby so def no longer top ten.
4: Britney Spears - Not only no but HELL no.
5: Keeley Hazell - Nice boobs but not top ten.
6: Adriana Lima - Yes. Wacky, google some more, she's hot.
7: Elisha Cuthbert - Really like her but don't think she's top ten.
8: Kristin Kreuk - Uhm, more like 78.
9: Anna Friel - Who? Looked her up on Wikipedia recently but can't remember.
10: Freida Pinto - Yes.
11: Ana Ivanovic - Who?
12: Abbey Clancey - Who?
13: Scarlett Johansson - Meh. Put her in the lower half.
14: Angelina Jolie - Kinda old by now, no?
15: Kate Beckinsale - Same comment.
16: Summer Glau - Yes. She's becoming insanely hot so almost top ten sounds right.
17: Frankie Sandford - Who?
18: Marisa Tomei - Too old.
19: Thandie Newton - Too old.
20: Zoe Salmon - Who?
21: Natalie Portman - Yeah. Bit higher even, maybe.
22: Olga Kurylenko - She's alright.
23: Katy Perry - No. What's with all the singers who aren't really hot?
24: Jennifer Aniston - No. Not even top 100 anymore.
25: Ali Larter - Meh, bottom half.
26: Jessica Biel - Sorry, just not my type.
27: Hayden Panettiere - The only reason I ever watched Heroes. Still stopped after 3 eps so that tells you something.
28: Eliza Dushku - Yeah, sounds about right.
29: Eva Mendes - Liked her a couple years back, no idea what she looks like now.
30: Louisa Lytton - Who?
31: Amber Heard - Who?
32: Gemma Arterton - The Bond girl? Not really, no...
33: Diora Baird - Yeah, she's alright. She was in Young People fucking but let's be honest, at least two of the other girls in that movie were hotter.
34: Konnie Huq - Who?
35: Doutzen Kroes - Yeah, she's alright. Definitely shouldn't be this high though considering what other models are still to come.
36: Keira Knightley - Should be higher.
37: Kimberley Walsh - Who?
38: Jennifer Metcalfe - Who?
39: Sarah Michelle Gellar - No. Waaaay too old.
40: Carla Bruni - Uhm, no?
41: Eva Longoria - Not my type, sorry.
42: Marissa Miller - Yep, sounds right but same comment as for Ms Kroes.
43: Rihanna - Uuuuh, maybe.
44: Rachel Stevens - Who? The singer from that group that had a "7" in its name? If so, not really...
45: Maria Sharapova - No. She's a tennis player, not someone professionally hot.
46: Jessica Jane Clement - Who?
47: Emma Watson - Uhm, in a couple of years maybe.
48: Kelly Brook - Yeah, whatever.
49: Holly Valance - Yeah, whatever.
50: Alessandra Ambosio - Definitely needs to be higher. Top ten candidate.
51: Katie Melua - Again, what's with the singers?
52: Georgie Thompson - Who?
53: Charlize Theron - Too old.
54: Amii Grove - Who?
55: Isabel Lucas - Who?
56: Miranda Kerr - Yeah, needs to be higher.
57: Nadine Coyle - Who?
58: Nicola Roberts - Who?
59: Beyonce Knowles - Singer. Again. WTF?
60: Nicole Scherzinger - Yeah, maybe.
61: Alexa Chung - Who? Please tell me this isn't the golfer...
62: Alesha Dixon - Who?
63: Jessica Simpson - Uhm, no. Just don't include singers unless they really are hot. kthx.
64: Madeline Zima - Uhm, no. Showing your boobs on Californication doesn't automatically make you hot.
65: Christina Aguilera - Singer. Enough said.
66: Jennifer Garner - Uhm, top 200 maybe.
67: Vanessa Hudgens - No. Immediately disqualified for being in that High School Musical shit.
68: Odette Yustman - Who?
69: Malin Akerman - Can't really remember who she is but think I saw pictures of her naked somewhere and they were alright. So okay, I guess.
70: Heidi Klum - No. Don't like her.
71: Hilary Duff - Nope, not top 100 material.
72: Kristen Bell - Yeah, maybe.
73: Emily Blunt - Yes, yes, yes. Higher. Right now.
74: Holly Willoughby - Who?
75: Kate Moss - Uhm, no.
76: Taylor Swift - Who?
77: Christina Hendricks - Yeah, maybe. But not really top 100.
78: Emma Willis - Who?
79: Katherione Jenkins - Who?
80: Emily Scott - Who?
81: Gemma Atkinson - Is this the Bond girl? who was the other one? Or is this a topless model? I think this is a topless model. And she wasn't good enough to stick in my memory, so, no.
82: Katherine Heigl - No.
83: Michelle Ryan - The Joker's ex-wife? Uhm, maybe.
84: Victoria Pendleton - Who?
85: Carmen Electra - Yeah, maybe. A little old.
86: Elizabeth Banks - Meh, kinda like Heigl. Definitely don't include both.
87: Sarah Harding - Who? Sounds like a singer again...
88: Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Yes, yes, yes. Higher. Top ten. Right now.
89: Lily Allen - Fuck no.
90: Lisa Snowdon - The one from Friends? You're kidding, right?
91: Christine Bleakley - Who?
92: Billie Piper - Maybe.
93: Ellen Page - Can't really remember who she is...
94: Evangeline Lilly - Since I don't watch lost, I have no idea...
95: Rachel Riley - Who?
96: Gemma Bissix - Who?
97: Dannii Minogue - Not really, no.
98: Fiona Bruce - Who?
99: Lindsay Lohan - No, not really...
100: Mischa Barton - Nope.

 

[CaptainWacky]

34: Konnie Huq - Thinking man's crumpet, but annoying. You'd abuse her - jack off in her face, force anal just to make her shut the fuck up.

QOTW!

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